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Original poster

Telling people early

12 replies

Saffronica · 21/12/2013 07:59

Hi everyone, I'm new so I hope you don't mind me jumping straight in.

This is our first month trying and AF is due today. We're staying with family until the New Year now so I tested last night to rule things out as I was sure it hadn't happened. I was obviously wrong as there is a line! Tested again this morning and there is a line still but it's covered with a bit of a smudge so I'm not sure the test worked properly.

Now I've been lurking on baby forums long enough to know that this is far too early to be counting any chickens and there is a lot that can go wrong. However, I really can't think of a way to get through the next couple of weeks (not drinking) without telling family.

I'm a bit in shock. What would you do?

OP posts:
lackingideas · 21/12/2013 08:17

Congratulations! (Assuming it does turn out to be a bfp!)

You could perhaps tell family you are trying or thinking about trying and have given up alcohol for that reason? I'm sure they'd forgive the white lie when you were ready to tell them!

Having said that I don't think there's any harm in telling close people early on. If anything did go wrong (fingers crossed for you that it won't) you'd probably want their support anyway.

Treaclepie19 · 21/12/2013 08:17

Congrats!!! :)
I would probably tell one person you can trust and ask them to help you pretend you are drinking. Sneaky.
If thats not an option then you could pretend you have a water infection/are on antibiotics or just explain that you are but its early days.

Mattissy · 21/12/2013 08:18

I told my parents to day after my bfp, I couldn't have managed not to tell them and I'd have wanted their support had anything gone wrong. I told my sister the day after that as again I'd have wanted her support.

I told other family at about 10 weeks but friends at 12.

I don't believe in fate so that aspect didn't bother me.

Original poster
Saffronica · 21/12/2013 08:22

Thanks :)

I think I'll go and buy a clear blue digital and pee on my 3rd stick in 24 hours. If it's positive I'll probably tell parents. You're right that I'll need support either way. I'm hoping the mild cramping i've got is a good sign not bad.

OP posts:
EnglishGirlAbroad · 21/12/2013 08:26

Saffron, I'm in the same boat. Was convinced I wasn't pregnant but did a test anyway... bfp!!
We have guests all over new year and now I'm worried how I'm going to get around it. They know we've been trying so I know any attempt to get around it will fail. One of them is also pregnant,a few weeks ahead. I think I'm gonna have to just say. And if things don't end well hope I have their support. But like another poster said, I don't believe in fate. Good luck with the digi!

Mattissy · 21/12/2013 08:34

I cramped terribly at the start of pg1,all sorts of minor aches and niggles, try not to worry.

Congratulations btw!

Rockchick1984 · 21/12/2013 09:10

I've had 3 pregnancies and told parents and a couple of close friends straight away every time. Second ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks and I was so glad they knew what was happening as I desperately needed their support, and (sounds weird I know) I would have hated them to deal with the sadness but not have shared in the early excitement of it all! Its a personal decision though.

Re cramps - totally normal early on! Feel like mild period pains in my experience.

hazchem · 21/12/2013 09:16

My rule of thumb is tell the people you would want to help if things become difficult.

I told my line manager really early with my first because things at work were crappy and stressful and it was good to know she had my back.

JRmumma · 21/12/2013 09:20

I found out i was pregnant on Xmas eve last year. I didn't tell but everyone guessed anyway. If i was in the same position again id tell my close family so i didn't have to pretend on Xmas day and try and stay in on NYE to avoid questions from friends!

ZingChoirsOfAngels · 21/12/2013 09:44

I would wait at least 3 days and test again.

once you are sure - tell people if you wish! only you know what feels right! Smile

SarahBumBarer · 21/12/2013 19:31

I told all my nearest and dearest as soon as I found out with mine. They're the first people I would want support from if things went wrong and I would hate the first they knew of it to be that I had lost the baby. I've never understood the desire for secrecy that so many people have (not that I mind it - each to their own).

Writerwannabe83 · 21/12/2013 20:52

The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we needed to know the Nuchal Combined Test was clear and baby was healthy before we let everyone know.

We weren't worried about 'tempting fate' with miscarriage or anything like that, but being in a potential situation of terminating due to medical complications was not something we would want our family involved in. I imagine decisions like that are difficult enough without having everyone else's opinions and pressures.... Hmm nobody likes to think they would be in this position, but it happens and is a very controversial topic that potentially cause a lot of problems within families. I know that some people in my family would have been distraught if they thought I might terminate for medical reasons and that kind of pressure would not have been something I'd wanted to have dealt with.

Thankfully all our testing came back clear so we told our family at 13 weeks.

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