Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Who knows that your ttc?

8 replies

enocar · 17/12/2013 12:04

Ive been a long time ttc, 5 years with my husband and with an ex before that, we were not trying as such but not preventing either...anyway for most of that time, up to prob a year ago i spoke to no one i knew in rl that we were ttc, and would have to nod and smile and laugh along when ppl (inc friends) would joke that our 2 dogs were our kids, or try and brush off the question of when you having children then? This i find so hard not to turn around and ask them something like so when you going on a diet? You wouldn't ask a chubby person that, so why is it okay to ask about when your going to pop out a baby?! Do you feel its hard when your speaking to a friend who does not know your ttc or struggling to get pregnant and they are there telling you how one of their family members has had a baby and going on about it and i want to be happy for her but im there listening and its killing me inside, to hear her say that again someone else has had a baby when im struggling :( So the past year i opened up to 2 of my closest friends and told them we were ttc and going to see a specialist as we been trying so long, and i thought that it would be easier to deal with as something was being done and that i had someone to talk to about how i felt with 2 ppl who knew me, and after only a few chats and good luck with the hospital appointment, neither has mentioned our ttc and its made me feel like they dont want to know about it anymore :( And with the dr saying that there isnt anything more to be done (on clomid as i said i asked her for it, she was just going to send me back to gp and say they had done what they could, bloodtests and a hsg) and with no monitoring on clomid i dont know how they know whether its working or not? If i dont end up pregnant obv.

OP posts:
enocar · 17/12/2013 12:09

Sorry meant to add/ask regarding clomid, im taking it on cycle days 2-6 i wonder if anyone knows what boost the clomid gives by taking it on those days?

OP posts:
Mummyinpink1289 · 17/12/2013 12:18

hi enocar, im reading your post and now feeling bad for all the times i have done exactly what your friends did to you to my friends - asking when theyr gonna have a baby, now im thinking perhaps they are in a position like you and are trying but havnt got lucky yet. you dont think of these things when youre asking those questions, so its a lesson for us all to think before we speak. Its good though that youve told them as now they will be aware of the situation and wont make you feel upset when they keep asking you. they probably haven mentioned it for fear of upsetting you so i wouldnt assume they dont care they probably just dont knw what to say or ask thats all.
When its ment to be it will happen, thats what i think in life, its totally easier to say this than do it but try not to stress and get back to enjoying things with your DH, then baby will come along when he/she is ready:-) wishing you good luck though, and baby dust ...

duvetheaven · 17/12/2013 18:09

I think it is what enocar said that they will wait for you to bring up the situation. I have had quite a few friends with fertility problems and I have always waited for them to bring up the subject and I am happy to talk then. Sorry I don't know about clomid. I would recommend acupuncture though and a couple of friends recommend chinese medicine.
I have two friends who tried for over five years and both have now had two children (naturally).
Good luck.

Bearsandtoys · 17/12/2013 18:25

I think it's so rude when people ask when you're going to have a baby. I hate it! It's so personal! recently I went to a wedding where the bride's Mum and the BM both said 'See you at the christening' as we left. The poor Bride, everyone is expecting her to pop one out exactly 9 months later and if she doesn't everyone will ask why!
I can't help with your questions but good luck!

CatsCantFlyFast · 17/12/2013 18:36

Eno sorry to hear your situation. Just wanted to recommend posting on the elderberry pavlova thread (in conception). It's for 30+ women who've been TTC a while, and they will def offer some support and insight into your clomid

m33r · 17/12/2013 18:48

I love kids and everyone knows it so we we're quite open that wend be straight on it after the wedding. I naively thought it'd take six months ago (at most) so didn't mind. I'm now 13 months in and I find it vERY hard to talk about and it doesn't help me (except with one close friend) so I now HATE people asking anything ... Even to be nice... Because it causes me to have really fight tears. Not good on a night out for me or anyone else but equally donmt want to dramatically say 'I don't want to talk about it' but I really cann't even say the words 'not this month' without having to scramble myself together.

If it is not mentioned, I am fine.

I got a new job just before ttc so when anyone work mentions it I imply I too focused on my career 'yeah that's just what I need'. I find this easier than actually addressing how I feel.

If I were you, and your friends who you told are nice just tell them you'd like to talk about and wallow for a bit - they should happily help.

To friends who ask you but you donmt want to get into detail, try 'babies r us seems to be shut in hackney area'

FX for you x

Thatssofunny · 17/12/2013 21:15

Sorry that it's so difficult for your, enocar. Sad
We've been trying for about 3 years,...although actively ttc only for about a year now. The majority of people at work know. My family know and some of my friends know. They also know that it's a struggle for us and tend to be a bit careful around me, especially since I had an mc a few months ago. Around most people, I tend to stay quite positive. It'll happen at some point. (If not, we'll need a plan B,...but I got pregnant once, so most things should be in working order.) However, I'm not keen on cuddling other people's babies or discussing pregnancies at this point. For me, it helps that people know. Others don't tend to bring the topic up, but they are happy to talk to me about it, if I initiate the conversation. It also means that they don't immediately think I'm being rude when I leave the room because it's just too much for me at that moment.
It's with DH that I sometimes have a little meltdown and complain about the unfairness of it all. I had one earlier this week: "I should be starting to think about getting baby stuff for Christmas now,...not be back to the fucking square one and trying yet again! It's not fair!" And then I get a grip again,...and we just move on and try again.
Good luck. Hope everything works out for you.

m33r · 17/12/2013 21:33

that's I also do meltdowns with DH but try really hard to rein them in too as he is desperate too. After he got his tests he said he felt he'd 'broken the psychological barrier' and I realised the amount of pressure he felt too.

I so empathise and sympathise with the Christmas thing... You see things you'd buy and think what your plans 'should' be if you had your dc. ... But we carry on.

FX for you and very best wishes xxx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread