Husband can't perform when he needs to!

[Florrypops1]

I'm totally frustrated, I have PCOS and so I've always known that when we started trying it would be challenging, I came off the pill in August, we started trying in September and I've been using an ovulation tester and so far so good each month at different times, I've ovulated. Problem is my husband although normally very sexual just can not do it when he has to! I tried not telling him and just tried seducing him but that didn't work either. Feel very alone with the whole thing, need ideas!

Oh I'm sorry to hear you having this problem - it actually crops up quite a lot on MN so you aren't alone and there will be lots of women who will be able to give great advice.

Have you spoken to your husband about it or is it something he is embarrassed about?

We have this problem, to the point DH has been to the docs about it.
I'm afraid I have no advice, we just try and DTD at different times during the month and hope he's able to when it's really needed.
If it doesn't happen in the evening, just try again in the morning (if we can be arsed!)

Hubby and I also had this. The first cycle he hated and found it very hard to perform. I was obsessed with getting pregnant and timing etc and he felt used. I felt not talking to him so much about it and not saying all the time "we have to do it tonight" helped. Try and relax and he will be more relaxed. My hubby is fine now and we enjoy dtd whilst trying togetpregnant too.

My heart goes out to you. I know that desperate feeling when you know the time is right and yet you can't do it.
When the problem struck us it completely floored us and it was totally unexpected. I know it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't help feeling a bit angry. I think it was frustration that manifested itself in a really bad way. Anyhow, we kept trying and it's a bit hit and miss, but so is getting pregnant it seems! The first few times it happened, I wanted to talk about it but he didn't because he said talking would make it worse. I tried to respect that, but after a few occasions we did talk about it a little and we tried to work out some new things to try…Also last cycle we tried AI because even though he can't always get it up, he can manage a wank! Bit of a pain and I'd rather the old fashion method, but needs must and he was ok with it. This was the first cycle we did it. In the 2ww, AF due Fri and I'm having the normal impending cramps, so don't think we cracked it this time.
Hang in there. Good luck.

Florrypops,

Please do not use OPK's with PCOS because these are next to useless if you have that particular condition. They often give false and multiple positive readings to PCOSers. These kits read LH; as many women with PCOS have an excess of this hormone to start with the kit just reads that.

You need to take the pressure off yourselves; make love when you both feel like it (two or three times a week throughout the month is fine) and lose the OPKs as of now. Do not self predict when you think it is ovulation time; it is oh so easy to get that particular date wrong and with PCOS as well you are likely not to be ovulating regularly.

I would also seek medical advice sooner rather than later about possible fertility treatment because it may well come to pass that you will need some medical help in order to conceive.

Thank you everyone, some very good advice from all if you. Sounds odd but it's nice just to hear you're not the only one too! Atillathemeercat its in the bin! :-)