Just turned 35 and ttc #1

[EmberElftree]

Morning all,

I've just turned 35 in October and DH and I have decided to start trying for our first (he's 35 soon to be 36). I'd like some advice from you experience ladies out there if poss.

I have an average 31 day cycle but it ranges from 24 days to the longest of 51 days. In August this year my cycle was 51 days long which has never happened before. It's usually around 30 days. I went to the gyn as I was concerned and she gave me a tablet to take to force the start of my period but low and behold I started the very next day so i didn't take the meds. She said I have a 4cm cyst on my right ovary and did a smear and bloods etc. all came back normal. Since then I have had a 24 day cycle in September then a 27 day cycle in October.

I have been charting my temps since the september cycle but we officially started trying in my October cycle. On CD18 I had EWCM and got a smiley face on my Clear Blue digital ovulation test at 5pm and again at 10am on CD19 - another smiley face. We DTD on CD 18-21 hoping to catch my ov. which I am assuming would have happened on 19th or 20th according to the OPKs. I didn't get a real temp spike after though which makes me wonder if I ovd at all, as I understand the OPK can predict the LH surge but it doesn't necessarily guarantee that you will actually ov.

I then had very very faint fawn coloured CM on CD 30-32, not enough to stain a pad, only when I wiped. On CD33 (yesterday) I had a tiny spot of red blood when I wiped along with the light fawn coloured CM but again it didn't stain the pad. Now today I have just red blood so i am presuming this is the start of my period so will consider this to be CD1. I took a digital Boots HPT yesterday lunch time which was negative, came up as not pregnant as I was confused by the spotting instead of my normal period. I suppose that although I have always written down the start date of my periods I have never paid this much attention to my body except for having sore boobs and cramps for around a week before I start which has always been the case. I will go back to the gyn as she said to check up on the cyst to ensure it hasn't grown, she thinks it will just go away on its own. I just wanted to keep an eye on my cycles for a couple of months so I can also show her my charts.

So I am concerned by having a strange period this month (spotting prior to does not usually occur with me she just shows up!). Not too worried about the cyst as its quite common but I am concerned that my mother started menopause at 37 and I feel that time may be marching on for me as if I follow in her steps I don't have long left!

My mum has started to get on at me about having children and it's compounded by her re-iterating that my brother and his wife conceived on the first go both times (my nephews are 5 and 3). Now while I am aware that my bro may have been economical with the truth and just told her that (!) it does put a certain amount of pressure on me and my DH.

Hence why I am writing this very long post on here as I don't want to discuss any of this with my family and I'd like to keep this TTC a fun secret project IYKWIS ;o) between my DH and I. We want to enjoy practising!

Any advice or words of wisdom would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance and baby dust to all

Ember x

Hello, I've not got much advice but I have got time to listen and can point you in the direction of a lovely thread full of women who are just enjoying it (the just shagging thread)

Don't listen to your mum, doesn't matter about your brother as he is not you!

hi ember, this is probably the best place for you to come! I have found it hugely helpful, to get perspective and inspiration when things get tough. I don't have any pressure from parents but do have some very pushy friends and a sister who all got started on the baby action ages ago, so I feel some urgency as you describe. I would keep in mind that thy gyn knows their business, ask them as many questions as you have about TTC and about your cycle/body. I think the one thing I've learnt on here is that, although opks and temping help you to get to know your cycle and to feel in control, they won't necessarily tell you "when you will conceive". this is as difficult to predict and as changeable as the breeze and will be different from month to month (added to which your egg may not be viable each month so there is an element of natural selection which you can't account for). It's important to keep this random factor in mind! I am currently on cycle #5, started out "just practicing", got more serious about it and this month tried SMEP (sperm meets egg plan, i.e dtd every other day then every day when you get a +ve opk). Different things/plans work for different people so it's important to keep positive, even if it's not happening right away, and share if you're feeling you need support!! Try not to feel that your age is an issue. I'm sure your gyn will tell you (as my doctor did) that 35 isn't old any more!
Good luck! hoping for your bfp soon!

Thanks Cookielove you're right, I know I shouldn't listen to her, she has asked me (many times) so when are you going to have children? and I always reply when we've decided to. We've only been married for 2 and a half years but before that there was always the so when are you going to get married? question grrrr - folk are so bloody nosy!

Hey Flymo how's the SMEP going? Are you in your 2WW? I guess we sort of did that this month but may have stopped too soon, must keep going ;o) good luck to you and fx for your BFP! I didn't mind at all about my age and really didn't feel pressured about having babies I just thought well once we've decided to start trying we'll go bareback and it'll happen if and when it's supposed to. The thing that freaked me a bit was my mum saying she started MP at 37 - that's when I started thinking about it and beginning to stress that my opportunity may be taken away from me, y'know?

DH just left the house he's away on business until Monday so I shall be ready and waiting for him to start on cycle #2! He says he can't wait to come back! I have told him some of my concerns but am conscious to not turn this experience into a pita and he's totally confident about it all like we will have a gorgeous fat little nipper next year I know it. Will just go with his philosophy and look forward to the shagging