Do you? Don't you?

[ruth1104]

Hello ladies,
Newbie alert! hubby and I started ttc for the first time ever this month, so it's still all very exciting. But I never anticipated spending so much time imagining that I'm pregnant, how much does that mess with your head!? The thing is, my hubby, as I suspect a lot of men, have never had to think about the being-pregnant-before-you-know-you-are-phase. He thinks I'm nutty to cut back on the gin.
What I wanted to ask is, what do you avoid doing or eating when you're ttc? Do you carry on as normal or as if you're already pregnant or somewhere in between? And (I suspect this is what's worrying him most) what are you told not to do (apart from the list of things you shouldn't eat) when you actually are preggers?
Obviously I realise this could be a long stage of our lives, and I don't want to spend months and months of ttc in a grumpy land of no coffee.. But I don't want to do anything to put a pregnancy at risk. What do you do?

My OH and I had bed trying for 6 months with our second, I cut back on drinking, monitored ovulation etc to no avail.

Our DD went to my parents for a fortnight in the summer and we went as a couple on a piss up to Amsterdam.

Lo and behold, I am now 16 weeks pregnant with number 2!

I genuinely believe that stressing about conceiving can make you less likely to do so!

I cut back on tea and coffee, two cups of tea or 1-2 coffes a day. I'm still having the odd glass of wine, if and when I fancy it. I personally am taking the 'I'm not pregnant until I get a line on a stick' attitude.

I LOVE goats cheese, shellfish and pâté etc etc, so am still eating all those things - in moderation of course.

It's a personal thing but I think I'm not going to deny myself the things I like 'just incase' but on the other hand, I'm not going overboard.

Not sure if that helps or not, but that's my view on this ttc scenario :)

I know the feeling! My husband and I decided we would ttc this month and can't stop thinking/talking about babies!! I have cut down on alcohol and making sure I'm getting 5 a day and drinking lots of water! Will be interesting in a few weeks as have a girly weekend which will involve a lot of wine! Will have to avoid over doing it! Trying not to get to caught up on ovulating dates etc just yet,

I strongly second Gemma!

We tried for months using OPKs etc and nothing, decided to just go with the flow, one long weekend together and I'm now 14 weeks pg with #1!

Hard I know but try not to get stressed out. In terms of making plans and changing eating habits, I took the attitude of 'I don't know when it will happen, so I didn't want it to take over my life, spending all the time thinking what if'. This was a bit of an epiphany after a few months, and shortly after I fell pg.

I wish you the best of luck

I would carry on as normal, tbh.

When you're "pregnant but don't know it yet" you and your baby don't share a stream yet, the placenta isn't formed so they're not really going to be affected by the odd glass of gin.

As soon as the line appears on the stick is when I changed my habits. It's a pita enough cutting down on certain things and cutting out certain foods for nine months without doing it when you're not even pregnant. You could be TTC for months (I hope you're not, I hope it happens quickly for you).

I know someone who stayed sober, cut out caffeine etc as they were told that it would help them conceive. They were TTC for two years. One day she thought fuck it and started drinking alcohol and coffee again. That was the month that she got pregnant :o.

I'm definitely in agreement ladies, also ttc #1 since I stopped the pill in September. One thing I did find useful was reading up about the female reproductive cycle and what should be happening when. May sound silly and basic but I know this is something I've taken no notice of since learning it at school many years ago. It helped me to understand when I may be fertile, I have been using cheapie OPK sticks but only because my periods haven't settled yet. In terms of eating /drinking, well my diet is fairly healthy but I adore smelly blue cheeses and will not be cutting out prior to seeing a line on a pee stick. I enjoy a drink at the weekends so I'm still enjoying my wine but I've made a bottle last the weekend instead of just a friday night. I think its important to enjoy what you can now because none of us know what will happen weeks/months from now.

*That should say that 'when you're "pregnant and you don't know it" you and your baby don't even share a blood stream yet.

I don't drink from OV to AF every month. But that gives two weeks when I can! And it's probably healthier so I don't mind. Haven't done anything about caffeine r cheese.

thanks folks, I didn't know that the baby doesn't share a blood stream in the beginning, but I guess that makes sense and calms my worries a bit! I don't think I'm getting particularly stressed about it, haven't started using opks yet since I'm only 26 and we're trying to just enjoy this stage at the present...
One more question though, we are moving house and possibly doing a renovation in the next couple of months (plate overloaded, moi?) and obviously that's going to be physically very hard work, would you go in with all guns blazing or let dh do the heavy lifting?
I realise these might seem like paranoid questions but noone I know talks much about ttc! They just suddenly got pregnant and then afterwards you find out how long it actually took... Thanks again :)

hey Ruth, we are currently ttc #1 and I started in the first month by giving up caffeine and booze. It was tough but I wanted to know I can do it. As the disappointments came I allowed myself a bit of wine as it seemed to much to be down and not allowed even a glass when AF showed or after a hard day at work. I now know that I don't have a problem with caffeine, which I did before, and I know when I get my BFP all boozing will be knocked on the head no probs. As for heavy lifting etc, I am a keen gardener and we are currently renovating too. I would carry on as normal and when you get your BFP just ask the doc what they suggest. I know women who have wrapped themselves in cotton wool and women who carry on regardless. I don't think there can be a one-size-fits-all for everything!
good luck!

My advice would be to carry on as normal until you get your BFP. It might take a while (hopefully not, but we are at 3 years and counting) so living as "pre-pregnant" for a prolonged period would just get tedious.

I second (third? Fourth?) the carry on as normal approach. We were ttc for six months during which time I missed out on wine, soft yolk eggs, blue cheese.... Tried OPKs, basal body temperature etc and generally made myself miserable, stressed and slightly obsessed. I didn't get pregnant.

This time around we just stopped using contraception. I found out I was pg (after a month!) at the end if a very enjoyable weekend away in which I ate all the forbidden stuff and drank cocktails

I agree to just carry on as normal. I didn't change anything I ate or drank. I also agree with gemma in that stressing about it does not help. I used opk's after getting the coil removed and also did temping for a month or 2, the month we had a month off and got drunk, hey presto! I'm now 20 weeks, I still have the odd blue wkd every couple of weeks if I fancy it. I don't smoke or drink tea or coffee so I've not had to cut that down. I've still had dippy eggs occasionally and up to now I've been fine lifting my 4yr old. Things don't have to change much when ttc or when pg, just be a bit more careful.

Ruth, re heavy lifting, I'm a stonemason. When I got pregnant doc said didn't need to change anything about my job, bar wearing a mask when dealing with solvents! Up to six months the only (slight) risk is to your body, as the pregnancy hormones relax your ligaments in preparation for making baby space. Therefore you're slightly more likely to get a muscle strain. After six months there may be a risk to the baby from very heavy lifting. But I'm guessing you wouldn't be hauling too much around at that stage anyway

aah thanks boldlittlebird, that's very good to know! Pregnancy is still a mysterious beast to me. Hopefully if/when i'm 6 months we'll be on to painting and curtain making and the walls and windows will be in... But I'm not making too many plans. Into the wait for AF/BFP so I'll hold back on the booze for now and then pour myself a large gin/find another way to celebrate :D Thanks folks! x