First cycle, first disappointment - bah!

[mssleepyhead]

You know how you know that the odds are against you and that it's much more likely to take 6 months to conceive than 1 go, but still a little tiny bit of you thinks... Maybe. Maybe and maybe you could go for a private scan just before Christmas and then maybe you could cautiously tell parents then... And then 4 days before AF is due you start spotting, and then she arrives, 3 days early and with lots of pain. And YOU KNOW it's stupid to be disappointed, because, seriously, what are the odds?! But you are anyway?

Yeah, well, that.

You mean when you pin your hopes on a slight, possible, what if, maybe and try not too, but desperately get your hopes up and then they are torn away in a split second and you promise yourself next month you won't put yourself thought this then 3-4 weeks later your back there again..... The Crazy symptom spotting woman making yourself vulnerable to those unforgiving symptoms again? That?

Unforgiving feelings that's meant to say - I got caught up in a whirlwind of emotion for a second there!

EXACTLY lulu. EXACTLY. even now, sat here with cramps, two light bleeds in the last couple of days, and a negative test this morning, I'm thinking... But maybe!
Damn. This stuff plays with your head...

That was me 3 weeks ago - full blown period, aches, cramps, spots (normal hormonal occurrence for me) I was, in the back of my head, thinking - some women still have periods every month and are pregnant! I mean, who, in their right mind seriously does that?!

Crazy, hormonal, irrational women, that's who! Welcome to the club! You've now officially been enrolled! ;)

It's a roller-coaster of emotions and hopefully soon you'll be able to get off it with a nice BFP!

Not that I want to encourage you with those Maybe thoughts but do you know how many days past ovulation you are and when you're due AF?

Ah, and what a club to be a part of! Everyone is so nice about it, given no one wants to be a member ; )

I'm 11 days past OV, AF due on Wednesday, but temperature plummeting and I don't think I can pretend it's not an early visit. I mean, obviously I CAN pretend and will continue to until AF arrives properly, but I know deep down what it all means.

I'm just not sure whether to count yesterday, today or when things kick off properly as day 1 of my next cycle. Yesterday there was a little blood after we dtd (tmi, sorry), today I had one tiny leak of blood this evening, but really nothing normal. It's unusual for me, I'm usually straight into the swing of things, so I'm not sure when to count from.

Any thoughts?

I have no idea I'm afraid - I'm one of these 'flood from day 1' types amd not really experienced the whole spotting thing. TMI!
Maybe when if it gets going properly?
Bloody pain in the bottom these things!

Sorry, I've been no use at all this evening have I?! And I've labeled you a crazy woman too!! How rude of me ;)

Crazy woman is a lot nicer name than the ones I've been calling myself since yesterday afternoon!

Now, excuse me whilst I feed my false hope googling implantation bleeds. Might as well do something whilst I wait for AF to come in completely and make herself at home!

Oh can I join in? I didn't even know when AF was due (I know, weird but it has been a busy couple of months) and DH and I decided right we're ready to try for DC2 and so ditched the contraception and I had secretly hoped that we'd picked the right time... but AF arrived and so at least now I have some idea of dates but I'll admit I was disappointed.

I'm in the crazy lady club too!! Driving myself potty. According to fertility friend app, I Ov'd on Weds last week, struggled to dtd over the weekend (friends visiting) but managed 2/3 from sun-weds. If my period is due on Weds next week, when should I test?

Symptom spotting is making me lala, sore boobs, tiredness, spots. I'm not sure what an implantation bleed might look like, but I'm checking ALL the time!

It's only my second month off the pill and first cycle after a proper period, so my hopes are high but I know the odds are low.

Anyone got any good news?!

I'm the same every single month. And every time I tell myself that next month I'll be more relaxed and curb the symptom spotting. But oh no it's not possible! Here I am again af due on weds and is that af cramps or is it implantation pain???
I have actually made my boobs sore by squeezing them every few minutes to see if they are tender

Fingers crossed its implantation bleeding for you op but if not don't forget there's always next month

I'm now giggling at the though of self inflicted sore boobs!! Eminybob so funny!

I Hear you all!!!
For that reason I try to limit myself on this site and desperately try not to board any more buses because as supportive as they are, in my case the poas is too infectious and I always last until dpo13 then cave. Absolutely not doing it this month. Absolutely not!!!!
Anyways, mssleepyhead, to be of some use, I always count the first full flow day (heavy for me) as CD1. Some months I may have a little bit of brown cm a day or two before, but that's because my body likes to f**k with my mind.
Good luck guys x

Mind if I join in?? TTC for the first time and I had no idea how obsessed I would get! Symptom spotting like mad and honestly hopping that we would get that allusive bft on the first month ttc.
Right now I believe I'm 9dpo and AF is due on Friday. had brown spotting 6-8 dpo that has now gone away and I have never had spotting between periods. also have had queasiness, but I honestly don't know if I literally made that happen stressing out about this!

Eminybob- so funny about the sore boobs! I've found myself randomly squeezing my boobs in public absent mindedly to check and husband has had to tell me to knock it off!

So I played some teams sport in the rain last night and have managed to invent some new 'symptoms' as a result... Got tired leg muscles and a random bit of hip joint pain which on my walk home from wrk I've convinced myself is related to some odd abdominal twinges. All added up to me being pregnant... Clearly possible, but unlikely!

Pointless POAS until next weds, or even later. The wait is driving me crayzeeeee!

cgrab will you test on fri?
mrssleepyhead have you tested again, or did AF happen already?

Hello hello
Took a couple of days off to try and uncrazy my head : ) I totally convinced myself it was implantation bleeding (note. Do not search google images for implantation bleed at 1.30am. Grim stuff.) but the next morning it was very clearly not.
Felt disappointed (what?! Not pregnant?! But we HAD SEX! More than once!) and sad but then actually a few hours later I realised I also felt calm for the first time in my cycle. Suddenly I'm not counting/checking/writing about my CM on an app/googling other people's blood! I am normal again! Ha.
Of course, I'm now counting down till I can start peeing on an OV stick and starting again... Roll on Friday! : )
Good luck fellow crazy girls... ; )

I totally thought that my first proper cycle (had one which I had my coil removed halfway through and so wasn't really 'proper') was 'the one' - sleeping crazily early, feeling nauseous, sore boobs, the lot. When AF arrived she brought friends and stayed a while!

Cycle two - we decided to sell our house and buy another one, ostensibly to make room for baby Lessons but primarily to take my mind off things. Shagged as per poas schedule, AF appears to be arriving tonight - but at least I'm a lot less stressed about it :D

Good luck OP, join a bus if you need a bit of helping away from the cray cray, it's made a big difference to me. I am sad, cross and despondent not to be pregnant this cycle despite what my head tells me in terms of the average number of cycles it should take given I'm 35 and overweight, but the bus has been a real source of solace and support. FX for your BFP as soon as possible!