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Conception

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Original poster

Due date - Stupid Q. Aversion to August babies ?

32 replies

SoMuchFruit · 08/11/2013 13:52

I might just be a bit dim but why ?

I've come across this comment quite a few times. Why don't people want August babies ? Lots of people ttc appear to putting everything on hold after this month to avoid an August due date. Not just on MN but on a few other forums too.

I've never really considered due date as a planning 'thing' bar I would feel sorry for a LO with a birthday too close to Christmas/NY .. am I missing something ??

Does everyone else have months they would prefer NOT to have a baby in ?

OP posts:

Original poster

SoMuchFruit · 08/11/2013 13:53

*when I say 'Don't want' August babies, I mean they would prefer not to have a baby with an August Birthday not they don't want them, don't want them..

I'll shut up now.

OP posts:

CunfuddledAlways · 08/11/2013 13:57

I think it's maybe to do with once they are school age they will have literally just turned 4 before they start school and kids may have a small disadvantage? but I'm not entirely sure.

Metalhead · 08/11/2013 13:58

It's because they'll be the youngest in their year at school and have to start just after their 4th birthday, whereas a baby born in September will be 5, so a whole year older. (That's our reason, anyway)

PeterParkerSays · 08/11/2013 13:59

It's because they're the youngest in the school year, so may struggle at first in school / do less well academically etc.

They also can't go to holiday clubs for over 5s in the summer after Reception because they're not yet 5, so may mean greater childcare costs for you.

lucyfluff · 08/11/2013 14:10

I find it all a bit odd when people say they dont want an aug baby. Yes they will be the youngest in the year but everyone is different and learns at different speeds!!! My oldest DS is aug 17th and was very academic, and being a teacher too I have seen young children coping very well

I think people who make those comments should be grateful for a healthy baby and being able to concieve.....my opinion anyway

FrussoNeedsGin · 08/11/2013 14:17

Dc2 is a July baby, and for me that has been hard, she has SNs too, which makes the gap between her and her peers huge. It's was hard enough that she was in a class with a lot of autumn birthdays, so they were already developmentally way she'd of her, chuck a few SENs into the mix and the gap is too big.
"Oh they all catch up eventually" was a phrase that was thrown at us so many times. But it's catch-up for the next eleven years. And not something that I wanted to repeat.

We took this into account when ttc dc3, he was due early June, and was conceived the last month of ttc before the 3mths of planned "break" which would have avoided a July/august/september birth.

Metalhead · 08/11/2013 14:20

lucyfluff I know what you mean about grateful for any baby, and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone who's born in August! I think for me it's just that I feel my June-born DD is still far too young to start school, and I do worry how she's going to cope being around older kids as she's not very good at standing up for herself. It's more the social aspect I'm worried about rather than the academic side.

FrussoNeedsGin · 08/11/2013 14:28

metalhead I know what you mean my dc1 is one of the earliest in the academic year, and when she started school she'd already been at pre-school for 2 years. (Funded for 5 terms) which puts them at an advantage over summer born DC.
Although at the same time in a way they are also disadvantaged because it can feel as though they are held back at nursery when they're ready to progress to school earlier but can't/don't, so they can get very bored a pre-school.

lucyfluff · 08/11/2013 14:38

I can understand your concerns about the social side of school life...of course being a mum you naturally worry about them. I feel some people automatically assume younger school age children wont cope as well academically or socially and its not always the case. I loved the mix of children in class coming together and the different personalities no matter what age

A difficult topic I guess that divides many mums....but not one I would ever consider when ttc....

singarainbow · 08/11/2013 14:51

Having an August and early Sept in the family, I think the most inflluential factor was not their age, more to do with their place in the family. My August boy is middle and does very well at school, his younger age has never been a problem, my youngest 2nd Sept dd has to wait until she actually turns 5 before she goes to school, and is way behind what her siblings could do at her age, i.e dressing herself, because she is the "baby" her older siblings do everything for her. She will need the year just to be socially at the same level as her brother when he started school!

FrussoNeedsGin · 08/11/2013 14:53

lucy could that be because a lot of mums have their dc relatively close together in age (1-3 yrs gap) so wouldn't necessarily consider schools when ttc.
I would presume that unless one were to have a summer born who did struggle at school it wouldn't cross ones mind. And if it did you'd already have your dcs.

lucyfluff · 08/11/2013 15:04

Yes thats true...siblings are often 2/3 years apart. It probably wouldnt cross your mind unless they were struggling in an area of development!

DS2 was a sept baby so I have both ends of the spectrum here. He is ironically very behind socially but again his personality is so different to the eldest!!

Metalhead · 08/11/2013 15:11

Finding it quite reassuring to hear your positive stories of August-borns - maybe we won't have a break from ttc next month after all! (Though I was actually quite looking forward to a little respite from all the pressure...)

Aquariusgirl86 · 08/11/2013 15:12

Think it's cause they will be the youngest at school, with a due date of sept 3rd I was hoping my boy wasn't born early as would rather not have the baby of the year. Wasn't bothered enough not to ttc that month tho!

hattyyellow · 08/11/2013 15:12

My August born twins started school a few years ago. They were far too young to start school, emotionally and physically they were exhausted. At secondary school they will again start off more emotionally immature and less ready than many of the others.

Comparing them with my youngest child who is about to have their 5th birthday party, it's amazing what a difference those 9 months make. She has the stamina in reception class to do after school activities, play dates, all the things that the twins were too exhausted to do.

She is one of the oldest in her class, meaning that she gets things quicker, has more stamina to do things longer and faster and out-achieves the summer borns in her class. I don't think she's brighter than them, just older. This means she has started with more confidence and a greater sense of achievement, which can only help her to progress.

If you compare an 11 month old baby to a new born and then realise they will could be in the same class at school, there is a vast gap in their physical and mental development. Autumn and winter born babies are proven to achieve more vocationally and academically.

Of course some summer children will achieve far greater things and do better than some winter born children. But overall, I do think it's worth waiting a month - if I could do the same, but still magically have conceived my twins as September babies I would do so in a heartbeat.

lucyfluff · 08/11/2013 15:27

Go for it metalhead we are on ttc too so quite possibly another aug baby and another boy

Original poster

SoMuchFruit · 08/11/2013 15:35

I see. Thanks for the answers. I hadn't considered due date month at all (and still don't really think it's an issue for me)

Could you not hold them back a year ? That's what I think I would do as I think just-turned 4 is far too young for school. I hadn't given huge thought to the academic reasons but I just think it's too young.

My birthday is in late July so I was one of the youngest in my school year. I think there were only 2 others younger than me, and then by only about 3/4 weeks. I don't think that affected me though. I left with extremely good results and never found school particularly taxing.

My DS is 4 (early Oct birthday) now and he only started Montessori this Sept - so he was 3 starting. He'll be 4 turning 5 when he starts 'Big School' this September.

If I had an Aug baby I think I'd let them start the Montessori year as they have just turned 4 and then they would start school at just turned 5.

I live in Ireland so the over 5 after-school thing doesn't apply to me.

OP posts:

Metalhead · 08/11/2013 15:55

We were thinking about holding DD back a year Somuchfruit, but decided against it as all her friends from nursery will be leaving to start school next year so she would be the only one left!

You can apparently start them part-time at school if they're only 4, though I have yet to find out how that would work.

Original poster

SoMuchFruit · 08/11/2013 16:04

That was sort of the case for us Metalhead, all DS's little friends were going to Pre-School/Montessori last year and school this year so we kinda fudged it.

DS went to Montessori 2 x a week last year with his friends but when they went to school this year he went back to Montessori 5 x a week. He doesn't really miss them as he knew the other children in the Montessori anyway. He'll go to school with this years' kids then in Sept (although only 5 of them are going to his school)

OP posts:

PeterParkerSays · 08/11/2013 16:04

You can't hold children back a year in England, they'd just miss reception and go into year 1 with the rest of their class, presuming there was a place for them.

I do know someone who asked to be induced to get an August baby rather than a September one though, as you pay for a year's less nursery fees.

flymo79 · 08/11/2013 16:14

an interesting debate, and one I've seen get very heated so am impressed at the measured responses! I have two very good friends, one with DD who is august (and very bright) and due for reception next year. She will be fine as she is so advanced (due, I think, to having lots of mum-time and play time at nursery with other kids). Another friend who actively stopped ttc over the months when conception could mean a july or august baby. They always row about it. Me, conversely, i've been desperately ttc these past months precisely TO get a summer baby, as DP is a teacher and will have a massive break over summer, a huge help for a new mum! I will obviously keep ttc, so a sept baby wouldn't be a prob, but would be massively convenient to have DP around for the summer hols with a newborn

ZangelbertBingeldac · 08/11/2013 16:16

My August born started school last year.

She didn't struggle at all and is in all the top sets

Original poster

SoMuchFruit · 08/11/2013 16:17

That's a bit rubbish that you have to send a child that's not really ready

I think they have to start in Junior Infants (same as Reception) when they are in their 5th year, if they go to school in the their 6th year I think they have to go to Senior Infants or even into 1st class.

OP posts:

ZangelbertBingeldac · 08/11/2013 16:17

(and I'm August born and got straight As at A level)

AnyFuckersfrogslegs35 · 09/11/2013 18:02

I'm TTC no4 and had thought about missing Nov out - not because of the School thing though (I've actually never had a problem with any of them in School, being one of the the youngest, they've all done very well)
but because my other 3 DC all have birthdays in Aug (just 15 frigging days apart) :)
I think I had some freakish increase in fertility in November, although it was between 19 and 15 years ago so I was way way younger, so I'm just going to crack on at ovulation time and see if it happens again.

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