Generally confused - not whether to start trying.

[MistressKatherine]

Apologies, this must have come up so many times on here. But I'm stuck. For as long as I can remember I've been totally against having children. I won't bore you with the reasons why, safe to say I was never maternal and my parents kind of put me off. Over the past 18 months I've gone from being not interested to not being able to think about anything else. My husband and I have talked quite a bit in the past few months about starting a family. The problem is I find this all very nervewracking (cos of my previous feelings being completely eradicated), exciting and confusing at the same time.

I have so many friends who have had problems conceiving and can't have children I think I have scared myself into thinking it will happen to me too. I am a healthy 28-year-old. But earlier this year I started having huge problems with my periods. Eventually I saw a specialist who put me on Dianette and told me to stay on it for at least nine months (which will take me to April). He didn't use the words Polycystic Ovary Syndrome but what he described has since sounded like it couldn't be anything else. He said Dianette should sort it out. After doing heaps of research though I've since discovered there isn't actually a cure (doh!).

To finally reach my point, I am considering coming off Dianette. But i'm scared to do anything. If I come off and can't conceive I will automatically think I should have stayed on in the hope the next few months will cure whatever my problem is. If I stay on for the next five months then I'm also worried I will face the same issues other women who've been on it had (basically that they are actually worse coming off than they were going on it in the first place - many struggle to ovulate for a long time cos it's so strong).

I just feel so confused. Compared to everyone else's problems and questions on here mine seems really feeble, so sorry to bother you all with it. But I feel like I'm going a bit mad. My husband is not being great about talking about it. He just says it's my decision, which I recognise. But it would be nice to be able to talk to someone about it.

PS. Have considered going back to the doctors for advice but feel a bit scared about doing it as they went to so much trouble to help me with my period problems in the first place. Makes me feel like I would look ungrateful if I now say I want to come off.

Has anyone else gone from being totally not wanting children to suddenly changing your mind and has anyone been on Dianette??? Thanks for reading :)

and the heading was meant to read "Not SURE about whether to start trying". BAH!

Hello.

First, I'd try ringing/emailing the doctor you saw and ask them to explain their diagnosis/treatment plan. If it is PCOS, they should tell you that directly. Often period issues can't be explained but if they are trying some plan of action, they should tell you the logic behind it.

Second, it's already November and you are young (in fertility terms). I'd suggest using these five months to look into good diet if it is PCOS (not saying you have a crap diet, but there are specific diets that help PCOS sufferers) and starting a regime of anti-natal vitamins, ready to conceive.

I know that when you suddenly get hit with that desire for children, it is hard to slow down. But given your age, I would suggest that you see this as a good run-up to conceiving successfully. After all, if you do have issues with your periods, it could be harder to conceive and then you might be back in the same position needing to treat that again in a year when you're even keener for kids.

And if you have anything you fancy doing before pregnancy/babies, use this time to do it. Again, I know that when you want to conceive, that is the only thing on your mind but as someone who suffered infertility/miscarriages for three years before conceiving a desperately wanted DS1, I STILL wish I had appreciated the time before pregnancy/children with my husband more.

for a long time we weren't sure about having children (we've been married 7 years, together for 10). all our friends started having babies and we still weren't sure. my sister had a baby and we still weren't sure. now we're trying and, if i'm honest, i'd say we're still not 100% sure! we're happy and have a good life together and, from this side of the fence, babies look HARD! but, i'm 32, my husband is a few years older, and we're aware that if there's any chance we might want to have children in the future, we need to act now. i think there are going to be some ARGH! moments in the next few months...! but right now i think we've made the right call. maybe wait a bit longer, sort your health out and see if it brings you any closer to knowing for sure? or maybe some people never know for sure, until the baby is there? that's kind of what i'm hoping : )

Hiya,

I am only offering advice on my use of Dianette...started when I was 18for acne reasons but used as a bc method a few months later. I concieved the first month after stopping this (twice!!) at 19years and 22 years so it came put of my system very quicklu with no problems!!!

I have never heard of it being used for pcos...but maybe the GP prescribed it to regulate your periods for you? might be worth going and discussing it with them. If you have other pcos symptoms then can start to look at it properly and diagnose it.

I think you are probably at a stage in your life where you are naturally ready to have children and there is never a 'best' time. I could think of tons of reasons why it is bad/good idea but if you feel this is all you can think about that sounds like your ready

Good luck

I think it is pretty common to prescribe the pill to help symptoms of PCOS. I too was offered this when I was having fertility issues. And it can help if you do have PCOS by helping regulate your hormones.

In my case, though, I did not have PCOS so it wouldn't have helped. Have you been scanned, OP, to check for cysts? My doctor was prepared to prescribe me the pill for PCOS even before it was confirmed I had it. But since I didn't, it wouldn't have done anything. (That's why I mentioned checking it was definitely PCOS in my earlier post.)