Pay for IVF or just wait yet more cycles

[Hyland]

At what point do u
you say enough is enough and pay for IVF?

This is my 24th cycle and it's depressing as hell!

I should imagine it depends on so many things...

your age
known fertility issues
finances

to name but a few

That was around the point we caved. Our IVF cycle was our 28th cycle of ttc.

I'm 34

Fertility is normal

Finances would mean dipping into savings, but I wonder is it a waste of money if I should be just waiting for it to happen.

Especially if first cycle doesn't work, not sure my partner would like the idea of throwing yet more money down the drain, for something that should just occur naturally.

It's just after 2 years it doesn't feel very natural, desperately want us to have a baby/family but the stress etc is horrible.

Euro chick how long after ur first appointment was it before u did your ivf cycle.

What made u go for ivf rather than wait more cycles.

I assume you paid!

Have u been successful ( 1st ivf cycle?)

My history is a bit complicated.

Actually, our NHS IVF cycle came a little earlier than cycle 28, but the downregging drugs sent me loopy, so we stopped midway through and walked away from it. Then did some research, discovered natural IVF and went for that a few months later. So we paid.

Natural IVF#1 did work, but I miscarried. We then did two more natural cycles and got chem pregs both times. I'm about to try a medicated cycle (but without the downregging drugs - I can't handle turning into a looper again).

We're also unexplained and I really struggled to get my head around pumping my body full of drugs and putting myself through the procedure when there was no diagnosed problem. But IVF#1 gave me the first BFP of my life, so clearly it did overcome some undetected issue.

We tried for 8 years. After 2 years they started investigations. By three years we were classified as unexplained. Waiting list for Ivf was minimum of 3 years. Had our first Ivf in the jan, passes our eight year anniversary for ttc, had 2nd Ivf which failed again. 5 weeks later I found out I was pregnant with ds1, 7 months after his birth I was pregnant with ds2.

Count yourself lucky if you don't have to wait years for Ivf.

Eurochick: So your on your 4th try of IVF, wow that's expensive.

I was hoping ivf would be an easier road than the one I've been on, clearly I haven't a clue.

Simple things: you two had two failed tries, wow that must have been tough after that many years !

I think I had hoped that ivf would be a sure thing ( or at least 2nd time worse case scenario)

I think if we paid .... My partner would want guarantees that it will work that I just can't give!

Yes, although that is probably due to our choice to go natural for the first three. We only got 7 eggs out of those 4 cycles (6 mature). At my age, you would expect more than that from a single medicated cycle. We will see if a medicated cycle makes any difference.

There is no guarantee though. The chance of success I was quoted by the NHS was 35-40%, which is pretty standard. Natural is lower, about 20%. On a good medicated cycle, you would be hopeful of getting frozen embryos, which can be put back on later cycles for a lot less than a full cycle.

I meant to add, the Eggcellent Egg Buddies thread on here is full of people IVFing/preparing for IVF, so it might be a good idea to have lurk or post on there to get some more perspectives from people who have decided to take the leap. Some of the chat is technical (about drugs and embryo grades) but there is also stuff about clinic choice and the emotional side of things.

Ok thanks, I sense this time is feeling more hopeful for you, I'll watch out for your news

We are at 2 years too. Have had day 3 tests, day 21 tests, hycosy and AMH test. All normal although FSH at day 3 at the higher end of normal; and AMH a little low, but doc said as long as my periods stay regular I shouldn't be worried. However he did say that if we were going to go private for IVF he wouldn't bother waiting longer than a few more months to get started. Hmm!! DH tests have all been fine.

Where we live we have to wait 3 years for IVF, but since NICE changed its recommendation to 2 years it made us think, really what are the chances of us conceiving in year 3? (My mum took 6 years to conceive me, similar circumstances but she was 10 years younger when they started trying). So we have asked to be referred privately. We can have 1 cycle without affecting our entitlement to NHS services. Another bonus is that the clinic we will go to does NHS as well as private which is convenient.

We will be dipping into our savings but tbh they are only there to be used for when we buy a bigger house- and we won't be needing that if we don't have kids!! We both have secure jobs and can't think of anything else we'd rather spend the money on at the moment. Both feel like our lives are on hold. We do feel incredibly lucky that we can go private. I have been reading some ivf blogs and some of it does sound pretty ghastly, I'm not looking forward to it- have never had much dealings with the medical profession before this infertility malarkey!

Realise that I didn't actually give any advice... Think everyone's circumstances are different and you just have to think through what the end result would be if various scenarios happen. If it's all your savings being used, I wouldn't do it. If you're under 30, I wouldn't do it (I know you aren't!). I've read that ivf should be considered a course of treatment, there's only around a 30% chance that each cycle results in a baby. I'm scared our first course will fail and we'll then have to choose between waiting 9m+ for our NHS cycled, or throwin more money at the problem...

30% seems very low, is that why that like to put in more than one to increase the chances I wonder.

I need to do some reading up

Savings were meant for other things so not sure what other half a feelings will be on the prospect of doing it once let alone twice potentially.

Hi Hyland, yesterday I came across a thread on another forum about a woman and her husband about to fork out 16K$ for IVF, they had been trying for 5 or so years and she was mainly posting because she was feeling very off for a few days, the other women in the thread convinced her to take a test and behold she got a BFP! From what I recall she is well in to her 30's. So it can happen, just when you want to throw in the towel!
Mind you if this was me, I would have forked out the money sooner! And this is maybe something I will do if the next step does not work for me!

16k wow ... I wonder why so much the doctors told me 4-5 k was about average

I keep thinking perhaps I'm being inpatient but 2 years has felt like forever and I'm sick of everyone round me trying and falling 2 or 3 months after starting.

The last two years my work has been the worse for the whole something in the water, only it doesn't happen to me.

Hyland, I only waited a year and a bit before heading for ivf. I was your age, had the money, had had two miscarriages and regretted not having started my ttc earlier, so didn't want to make another mistake by delaying ivf as well.

I did always expect to do at least three cycles, and was planning to use the equity in my flat to fund lots of ARGC cycles if the first three didn't work. IME you need to regard it as a three cycle thing. And you really really need to research the success rates of the clinics you're considering. Eg the ARGC is around the 60% mark, compared to 25% in my local nhs provider. That is a world of difference. So, your oh can't be guaranteed a baby first go (if only...) but he could research success rates and make sure your money and effort is well spent. (The hfea website is the place tostart.)

So did ivf work for you in the end on your 3rd cycle.

What is argc

Make sure you look at success rates for your age group. The 30% I referred to is I think live births born (national ave is 32%). The rate of bfp will be higher. the average odds of getting pregnant in any one cycle is usually quoted at 25% so it at least puts us on a par of normal fertility. IVF isn't a magic bullet.
The clinic we are going to quote £3520 for an ivf cycle on their website, but it does depend on your problems and if anything unexpected happens. Eg if the problem is at the man' send and you need icsi (where sperm has to be injected into the egg) that is more expensive.

ARGC is another clinic- looking at the hfea website the % live births (again for under 35s) is 58% but live births per embryo is quite a lot lower at 29% - looks like they implant a lot more multiple embryos than some other clinics which means more successes.
Sorry for not doing a proper link but the hfea site for comparing clinics is:
Http://guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/
You should be able to find the clinics near you. Many do open days or evenings when you can go and find out more info. xx

Yes, it did indeed work on our third cycle.We changed clinics for that last, successful cycle and I now wish we'd gone there from the start. Hence being a bit evangelical about clinic choice.

Moggle, you are bang on about the ARGC. I visited it with a mate who was being treated there and it is covered in pictures of babies, amongst which are a horrifyingly high proportion of triplets. Presumably they think the photos are an advert of their success, but put me right off.

Your clinic data can be skewed. For example some clinics don't accept smokers or overweight people.

These factors decrease fertility chances and therefore clinics which refuse have a higher success rate - not because they are necessarily better but because they have a more fertile group to start with.

Ensure you're comparing like for like. Often the best way to do so it by attending. Also other people's thought of what the clinic was like can guide if it is right for you.

Agree with what's said above about researching clinic choices. It's also worth checking what the situation is with NHS referral - some areas disqualify you from NHS funding if you've previously paid to go private, others may not. So it might be possible to be on the NHS waiting list while going private. Also worth checking how many cycles the NHS will fund - eg in my area it's one (with strict entrance criteria; in others they will fund three. Opting out of three funded cycles is obviously a bigger deal!

Ivf can work first time, but most advice says to think of it as 'best of three'. We will probably give it three goes and then see where we are. The first cycle will give the clinic useful information about how you respond, so if it doesn't work out, they can adjust the drugs etc to try to get a better result next time. You and your partner need to be in it for the long haul; it's not money down the drain, nor is it a magic wand; it's just increasing your chances of having a child.

Good luck, Hyland. Do keep reading, researching and asking questions, esp on the Egg Buddies thread - they are a great font of knowledge and v friendly!

Probably not what you want to hear, but when we were heading for IVF (privately) and I was worried about the cost my DP pointed out that compared to the cost of raising a child they were a drop in the ocean!

And he is right; we have a 3 year old now and for each of those years I estimate we have spent about £8-9k on childcare and I lost about £10k/year in salary for most of that time through working part time and getting a pittance on maternity leave. I haven't ever tried to add the costs of all the other bits we've spent money on, but it must be a good couple of thousand in all.

Having kids just is expensive. Needing IVF adds an unexpected bit more, with no guarenteed outcome, unfortunately. But for most people it does get you there in the end.

Hyland are you in England? Has anyone discussed whether or not you are eligible for NHS funding? Most Clinical Commissioning Groups (CCGs) have a policy that, for unexplained infertility, you have to have a conception delay of two years.

Can I just echo what Fizzy has said about disqualifying couples from NHS treatment if they have already had privately funded IVF. This varies from CCG to CCG, but PLEASE, if ANYONE is considering private treatment, PLEASE look at the policy for your area first. Lots of couples get caught out with this and it's absolutely devastating

Also I'd like to echo Holiday as well. Please do not believe all the hype about success rates. When you drill down into the data there are no significant differences in success rates at all, and many units now have two "clinics" that run side by side - one for couples with the best chance of success, and the other for couples who they believe will be more complex.

The most important thing when choosing a clinic (and this goes for both NHS and private) is that you are comfortable with the clinic that you have chosen and that it isn't impossible to get to. Lots of units have open evenings - go and see as many as you can if you feel it will help you, they are not going to mind people attending! The other thing to avoid is the "hard sell" - yes, they may be specialists, but if anyone makes you feel pressured (particularly if you are paying privately) or uncomfortable in any way then trust your gut. If you're not 100% happy then don't do it!

Sorry, rant over