Feeling very sad

[DearDinah]

I'm sorry this is going to be a long, moany message I'm just feeling really low & there is no one in rl that I can talk to about this, friends know we've been trying a while & my periods are irregular that's making it difficult but I can't tell anyone about my husbands ED.
It's getting worse now, he's so healthy & fit & we're both so frustrated, I'm ashamed to say I was angry last night, I didn't show him cause I know there's nothing he can do about it but I just had to go to the toilet to have a good cry.
I think this is the time we need to do it, feels like I've been waiting forever for any clear signs but no matter how much we try to relax it's just not happening.
I know it's pressure, but now it's happened to him it happens all the time, whatever time if the month it is, there's no getting away from it. I just don't know what we can do now.
Sex has never been easy for us, I had vaginismus for a long time, but now I'm fixed, husbands broken, it just feels like its not something we're supposed to enjoy :( we really want a baby, he's not keen on using a syringe (neither am I tbh) he doesn't think the doctor will help other than to tell him to relax, now taking all kinds of supplements from H&B
I said we should have a rest from trying (how on earth I can when it's all I can think about) but even then I still think he'll have this problem.
I just don't know what to do.
Sorry for the early morning cringe fest, this is just making us feel awful :,(

DearDinah,

I would urge you both to make an appointment at the GP surgery and discuss this properly in front of a doctor. There are things that can be done for ED; suffering as you both are like this is absolutely not an option. There may well be a medical reason for his ED; it needs to be investigated properly by a specialist. Would he be prepared to do this for him as well as yourself?. He assumes a great deal and wrongly so, it is absolutely no slur on his masculinity or virility. Holland and Barrett stuff will have no real effect, it certainly won't cure ED.

He is not the only man in the world with ED and nobody has died of embarrassment. This can and must be sorted out for BOTH your sakes. You cannot go on like this particularly if both of you do want to be parents. Also these types of problems can impact greatly on your overall relationship with each other so would urge you both to seek medical advice now.

If your periods are irregular it is likely you are not ovulating regularly. This can potentially be sorted out as well, you both need a proper diagnosis of the underlying problems. A condition called polycystic ovaries can cause periods to become irregular, likewise problems with the thyroid gland. Both can and should be looked for via blood tests.

Please let me know how you get on.

Yes I completely agree with Attila - you both need to go to the GP if you want to move forward with this problem.

Hope you are both ok, it must be very stressful for you both but you do need to talk to a professional, even talking and getting advice might put his mind at rest and make thing easier, Take care, hugs !! xxxx

Attila speaks a lot of sense. Must be so difficult for you OP but I think you need to be proactive in dealing with your physical obstacles, they may be more easily fixed than you think.

Thanks for your replies, getting him to the docs might be a challenge, especially as our current GP surgery are fairly useless (in process of changing) he's a heavy gym user, does lots of weight training & said he'll have a few days off to see if that makes a difference, if not I'll push for a GP visit

Perhaps word it in the way that's more "would you be totally against the idea of going to the doctors" then it seems more of a plea is desperation rather than an order from you, tell him how upset it makes you and remember how you don't want to put off what can be done Today and less turmoil for tomorrow :)