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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

How easy / hard did you find it to conceive age 35+?

89 replies

FrannyandZooey · 03/07/2006 21:42

Just read this in the Guardian which says "Fertility drops precipitously in women older than 35"

I am 35 in a couple of months and this has made me rather nervous

Were you able to conceive age 35+? How long did it take you?

OP posts:

suejonez · 04/07/2006 14:13

"But everyone is different and statistics are notoriously unreliable. You may find that you fall very easily. " Absolutely right Freckle. The biggest determinant of fertility and age is the quality of your eggs some peoples eggs deteriorate faster than others, some woemn will still be fertile at 45 (very rare) and some will have lot their effective fertility by 30. However ALL womens eggs will deteriorate with age and there is no way of predicting (or even testing) how an individuals will behave. We can only say that on average women will be about 75% as fertile at 35 as they were under 35 and 30% as fertile by the time they're 40.

And you're right, mens fertility declines too.

Clary · 04/07/2006 14:15

I was 34, 36, 38 and each time it happened with a few months, maybe only 2.

hoxtonchick · 04/07/2006 14:15

how easily did you get pg 1st time franny?

MrsRecycle · 04/07/2006 14:15

6 months when I was 31. 2 years with help of clomid when I was 36. I was told highly unlikely that I would get pg naturally again. Took me 3 months aged 41. That blows the stats out of the window eh?

DumbledoresGirl · 04/07/2006 14:18

Took me longer after 35, I conceived ds1 aged 30 after one or two months, ds2 aged 32 first go, dd aged 34 after maybe three months, but ds3, conceived when I was 37 took about 6 months and I was beginning to get worried. Not as bad as others here, I admit, but I definitely took longer.

hotmama · 04/07/2006 14:20

It was said on that Panorama programme a few weeks ago that at age 35 that your fertility is about the same as at 25. However, it is from 35 to 40 that it plummits dramatically - and after 40 it is going downhill.

However, everyones experience is different.

I got pregnant with dd1 in the first month of trying (in fact the first time I had ever had sex without contraception) I was 36 and 37 when she was born.

I got pregnant with and had dd2 at 38 - again in the first month of trying. I am currently 39 and am thinking of a 3rd in a couple of years - though I accept that with the stats this may be wishful thinking - but who knows?

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 04/07/2006 14:20

Took us 1 month hoxtonchick. I am assuming that was beginner's luck, though

OP posts:

suejonez · 04/07/2006 14:24

You don't need to take into account women who don't get pregnant over 35 becasue the statistics only document the reality. You don't need statistics to prove fertility declines with age, you can observe it in the quality of the eggs produced by a 40 year old compared to a say 20 year old - there is a visible differnce. When you have IVF your eggs are graded (and you thought SATS were bad!) for quality, every egg is inspected.

You are born with every egg you are ever going to produce - you do not create new ones as you go along therefore the older you are the older your eggs are and they age, just like the rest of you does.

And yes I know "this is a parenting board, of course you're going to find more women here who've conceived than not. ". That was my point - of course 30 women on here are going to say they got pregnant as on the whole the women on here did get pregnant, I was pointing out that that doesn't mean that 30:1 women get pregant over 35 as the non-pregnant portion are a silence group.

Apart from me obviously.

JanH · 04/07/2006 14:30

"You have your eggs graded" -

IVF looks like such an awful experience even when it's successful, suej - must be so much worse to go through all that and and have to admit defeat - I am very impressed by your philosophical attitude!

hotmama · 04/07/2006 14:32

I wonder if actually having babies after 35 keeps your fertility levels up IYKWIM? Apparently, if you have children late you often have a later menopause so perhaps if you have babies late you can carry on for a bit rather than if you had your children younger - rambling but I hope YKWIM - obviously no scientific basis to my thoughts.

hotmama · 04/07/2006 14:34

Also think I've been bloody lucky and will advise my dd's to get cracking younger (not at all related to the fact that I might like to see my grandchildren )

suejonez · 04/07/2006 14:39

The temptation to keep going is massive JanH - we live in a society where we are taught that anytihng is possible if you work hard/want it enough/research enough etc. It is difficult to accept that something you want so much is just not likely to happen.

After three attempts I chose to stop and everyone I know came out with the story about the woman down the road who tried IVF 8 times and got pregant on attempt 9! They have no idea how difficult one attempt is never mind 9! The next chestnut is the adoption one - "Oh now you're adopting you're BOUND to get pregnant" - I think one woman in 1957 got pregnant after adopting her first child and has been quoted ever since!

Philosophical is the only way to go Jan - any other way madness lies

(I wasn't so very philosophical when my final IVF failed the day my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer [shock})

suejonez · 04/07/2006 14:40

or even ...

lucy5 · 04/07/2006 15:02

I concieved at 35 and got preggers on the first attempt. With dd1 it took me 6 months plus and I was 29.

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 15:10

you bring up many valid points, sue.

anthea turner had IVF many times and had no success.

KristinaM · 04/07/2006 15:25

i conceived after 2 months of trying at 41 and by surprise at 42. while bf!!!

JanH · 04/07/2006 15:35

Definitely best to be philosophical if poss, but pretty hard, especially in the face of well-meaning encouragement like that .

So sorry about your mum as well.

Are you adopting? (Or have you adopted?) [nosy]

piglit · 04/07/2006 15:36

I conceived ds1 at 35 the first month we tried and ds2 at 36 while I was bf ds1 (completely unplanned...)

piglit · 04/07/2006 15:36

I conceived ds1 at 35 the first month we tried and ds2 at 36 while I was bf ds1 (completely unplanned...)

alex8 · 04/07/2006 15:56

at 36 I conceived first month. At 39 it took 7 months then a miscarriage. Now its 5 more months with nothing. Giving up hope very soon.

eldestgirl · 04/07/2006 16:02

I am now 36 and have been ttc for no 3 for one year.
It has come as a major shock as I conceived DS1 and DS2 immediately.
Beginning to think it's just never going to happen again, which is sad.

suejonez · 04/07/2006 16:08

JanH - yes it is hard to be philosophical sometimes but my last IVF attempt was over two years ago and I personally found the adoption process very cathartic as it makes you confont many issues head on.

Yes I'm in the proces of adopting - have been approved for a child 0-2 yrs from Kazakhstan, hoping to travel Sept/Oct this year.

Nicola63 · 04/07/2006 16:09

I comnceived within two months of starting to try for the first time in my life at age 41, but unfortunately miscarried. That left me with some scarring and possible tube blockage, but five months later, the month after I had an HSG test (dye forced thru the tubes) I conceived again. That too miscarried. I am now continuing to try. No medical cause has been found for the m/c's after extensive investigation.

My close friend had her first baby at 41 and is now pg again at 42 after trying for one month.

I am trying to keep my hopes up. I am not yet ready to accept that I will never have a baby. And yes, I am one of those "nasty career women", but my reason for starting so late was actually a first marriage in which I had no intention of ever having a baby (it would have been totally wrong in the circumstances). Remarried at 41 and suddenly realised that I could in fact be a mother, and really wanted to be (after long-term denigration by previous hb had got me believeing I would be a totally inadequate mother, and overt continual financial pressure from first hb anyway made the idea of taking time off from career impossible).

Naturally I regret leaving it so late. It's just one of a long long list of things I regret in my life.

I am keeping hoping for now.

suejonez · 04/07/2006 16:19

Good luck, even if the statistics aren't promising someone is getting pregnant - why shouldn't it be you?

And I think the issue of how difficult it is to get pg over 40 is an entirely different one to whether you should or why you didn't do it before. No need to justify yourself at all - we all do things for a variety of reasons, and not everyone will approve.

I know that many people will not approve that I am adopting from overseas, but its right for me and the only people I listen to are the ones who will be getting up to my screaming child at 2am (ie me!). Everyone else can pontificate all they like about the theory and I take not one blind bit of notice - except occassionally to fight my corner.

Again goof luck - if you ever want to talk to someone who's been through it - plase CAT me, I'm not all doom and gloom about getting PG over 40!

speedymama · 04/07/2006 16:37

I conceived DTS when I was 38yo, took 3 weeks.

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