How easy / hard did you find it to conceive age 35+?

[FrannyandZooey]

Just read this in the Guardian which says "Fertility drops precipitously in women older than 35"

I am 35 in a couple of months and this has made me rather nervous

Were you able to conceive age 35+? How long did it take you?

It was !

age 35.. twice

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly I had many years of fertility treatment from 36 onwards before giving up (and I could tell you of another 5 women in my position off the top of my head without even thinking too hard).

The reason you hear lots of stories of women over 40 (think 35 is probably scaremongering a bit) who do get pregnant and virtually no stories from those who don't, is that we failures don't tend to proudly announce it to friends and family.
The vast majority of women here have children so you're bound to get a skewed impression thats its really easy. The adoption webgroups are full of women over 40 the majority (not all) of whom failed to get pregnant.

Individual stories aside, it is true that your fertility starts dropping noticeably at around 35 and again at around 40, by 43 your fertilility is (on average) low enough that most IVF clinics will not take you on unless you are having egg donation.

I was advised by my gynae to start trying by 36 if I wanted the best chance of getting pregnant. I would think your chances are better if you have already been pregnant once as your have at least a proven fertility. I ruefully regret not trying earlier, who knows if it would have made the difference but I wish I'd known when I was 30 the facts that are now available.

Sorry not the fluffy answer but I felt I had to offset some of the replies about how terribly easy it is with a reality check from some who found it bloody impossible!

Suejonez, thanks for the reply and I did want to hear stories from both sides. All the encouraging posts on here are great but obviously as you say the answers are going to be skewed towards people who have conceived.

I'm sorry to hear your experience.

I seem to have killed off your thread - sorry!

I hesitated a long time before answering as I know everybody wants to presnt a positive spin on things and its true that some women do have no problem. For example the average success rate if IVF over 43 is (IIRC) about 8% that means that 8 of every 100 women that have an IVF cycle over 43 do get pregnant.

It's also true that newspaper reports of fertility dropping over 35 often have a judgemental element to them - ususally along the lines of nasty career women who want it all and left it too late to have children. So often womens reactions are often a kneejerk reaction against that, when usually the facts quoted are more often than not true.

Ultimately you have to go with what feels right to you, if you're not ready to have anohter baby now then you should obvioulsy wait but understanding that the longer you wait the harder it MAY be for you. I personally wouldn't have done anything differently now that I think about it, but I know several women who said if they had realised that they would have the problems that they did, then they would have tried earlier.

As always the best approach is to be as well informed as you can possibly be, keep yourself as fit and healthy as you can, do what is right for you now and trust the rest to fate!

Conceived twice at 39, both at 2nd month of trying (and didn't try very hard). Lost first one.

had all mine after 35 and without a problem, first time every time

Ds was conceived when I was 35, the one and only time we didn't use contraception. Dh has now had the snip.

No, Sue, I genuinely did want to hear a range of experiences and I appreciate your speaking out on this.

It's also good to hear that it is perfectly possible to have no problems at all conceiving.

Took 2-3 months at 36 and the same at 41

I just looked up the IVF success rates (as an indication) of the clinic I used. This is success at one cycle (you can't assume that that if you have 3 cycles success rate will multiply by three!)

Under 35 28%
35-37 21%
38-39 18%
40-42 10%

As you can see there is a distinct drop in fertility from 35 (25%) and another from 40 (50%). This clinic doesn't accept women over 43 so no stats for that. In women over 35, "natural" conception isn't likely to be much higher than IVF as an embryo is implanted overcoming the natural problem that your egg walls thicken with age and they may not be getting fertilised if you use the age old method.

Is that too much information?!

Women in IVF have fertility probs anyway so those figures aren't necessarily representative of the population as a whole, are they?

And in fact the drop in success rates given there is far from precipitous

I fell pregnant at 36 in the first month of trying, then again at 38 in a couple of months (had to give up breastfeeding first) and then again at age 40 after 3/4 months of trying. Easy peasy really.

You also need to consider the age of the father. New research shows that this can be a factor too.

one attempt at 38. three attempts thus far and nothing (not really trying thou'...)

Had a MC at 30, my first child,dd, 'took' 3 months when I was aged 33, ds 'took' 6 months when I was 36. This was following probelms cause by the mc and dh having had testicular cancer. So all in all I think things went rather well!

Shit, I don't know Sue. I don't know enough about it. Are random women really no more likely to conceive than women on IVF? I will have to read more on this.

Ooh, I think they are precipitous enough, Jan. I don't fancy your fertility dropping to a third of what it was, in only 5 years [scared]

Where do they get statistics from for women without known fertility problems?

But everyone is different and statistics are notoriously unreliable. You may find that you fall very easily. I certainly had no trouble at all. I do wonder, if we'd started our family earlier, that I wouldn't have a football team by now!

presumably by doing a cohort study looking at people who turn up at antinatal clinics? Give them a questionaire? How long did it take you, sort of a thing

I have no idea whether random women would be more likely to conceive normally than through IVF - about a third of women under 35 conceive first time through IVF, I'm told anecdotally that about 85% are pregnant by thirds attempt (I don't have evidence of this but it does seem about right). Does this sound similar to non-ivf? It sounds about right to me - 85% of women under 35 get pregnant withing three months?

What I actually was pointing out was that IVF success rates in older women are probably not any worse than un-assisted conception as one of the problems (in fact reasons) that conception rates drop is that your eggs toughen up with age. IVF overcomes this. it can't however overcome the problem that your eggs tend to fragment with age (ie fall apart).

Oh god I've scared you now - I'll shut up.

I wonder how many women are included in fertility stats? What about the billions of women who make damn sure they don't get pg after 35 - how fertile might they be? I know that can't be measured (enforced pregnancy might not be a popular test ) but it must make the numbers less reliable?

this is a parenting board, of course you're going to find more women here who've conceived than not.