Can't seem to conceive - feeling really down

[pppp]

I'm 39 and ttc for about 5 months. For the last few months I've been doing all the things suggested on other threads, grapefruit juice, cough medicine, legs in the air etc. but I have just got my period again today and I'm feeling really down about it.

I conceived ds immediately 4 years ago but nothing seems to be happening this time. I find the 2 week wait so stressful and build myself up thinking this is the month. I'm thinking of reflexology, but I'm also aware that the longer this goes on, the bigger the age gap between ds and the next one and one big reason for wanting another one is so he'll have someone to play with.

I'm fed up even thinking about next month.

Sorry, just needed to offload.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down, as you are 39 i think you might be able to go to the doctors next month as you will have been trying 6 months, just to rule things out.

Am sure everything is fine, but god knows why it can takes so long, i am currently coming up to a year of ttc.

HTH

5 months isn't that long! don't give up hope.

You're me, I feel the same way
I had my dd and ds so easily, its now been 3 years
I have a clinic apt next week.
It is depressing, I am trying to learn to step away from the ttc mind set adn relax but its hard
I dont know anyon else doing the cough meds and graprefruit jiuce either

I think the age gap thing adds huge pressure (I do it myself!) so try really hard not to calculate that every month. Can't offer any advice as I am totally obsessed so to tell you to relax and let it happen in its own good time would be hypocritical, but it will. 5 months is not long, just means it sould be your turn soon!

i dont know a massive amount about ttc, but you sound quite stressed about it. which makes it less likely to happen. perhaps there is some way in which you can stop thinking about it iso much? that might make it easier to happen?
good luck

5 months isn't long at all...we suffered x2 mc before we fell pregnant with dd and each pregnancy took me well over 6 months..sometimes 9...

My top tip would be relaxation..it seems that my pregnancies all happened while on holidays..Not sure if the temperature had anything to do with it or if it was the fact that I was so relaxed..away from everyday stresses etc.
DH & I have recently been away with dd to marbella,,guess what..i'm pregnant.!

I know exactly how you fel and how stressfull it is but relax and try a break away if you can. HTH. Good luck. xx

I've got a six year gap between my ds1 and2 because ds2 took four years to conceive.
I tried all the methods you have,had all the investigations done(normal).We were told IVF was probably our only option.
It was only when I accepted that ds1 was going to be an only one,and therefore truely relaxed that I fell pregnant.
What I am trying to say is,it's all very well going on holidays,'not thinking about it'(when of course you are really).Blah blah blah.But that's not relaxing is it? Do you know how many times I wanted to scream at people "I am fucking relaxed!"?
What about cutting yourself some slack and not trying for a baby for a few months?

Hmm Sugarfree, I know what you mean. Being forcibly relaxed is impossible. You end up becoming anxious about feeling anxious because it will stop you conceiving, (well I do).

pppp - you have probably summed up the feelings and experience of sooo many women on this the ttc boards with your thread. It is just all too familiar, unfortunately. The only thing I can say is that the first day of AF is always the worst. The world often seems a brighter more hopeful place a couple of days later.

Thanks for all your messages. I know I should relax but knowing that seems to make it harder, iykwim.

Probably won't be trying next month, as dh is away most of the month.

Piffle - are you taking the cough meds and grapefruit juice from the end of your period until conception?

from day 10 til ovualtion only

Sorry to hear how frustrated you are pppp. ONe thing i noticed you say you "find the 2 week wait" so stressful.

Does this mean you are assuming you can't concieve in the two weeks prior to your period? If so, this isn't the case for everyone despite what text books tell us.

I would advise you to try really hard to stop thinking about what day of your cycle you are on, and just have plenty of sex through the whole of the month.

It will happen.

Sugarfree, i've known two people to be told either their chances of conceiving were impossible or highly unlikely, and they too conceived shortly after hearing such news! I think this does definitely show how the more stress and thought we put into conceiving the less likely it is to happen.

I wish all you ttc's lots of luck! your time will come.

I've been taking it from the end of my period until ovulation. I ovulate on day 10 (I think!), so otherwise I wouldn't be taking much!

pppp I ov on cd 17 18 usually and have 31 day cycle
I am on cd 14 now...

OK, thanks Piffle.

Hattie, thanks for your message. You are right, I shouldn't assume that I have to wait 2 weeks, I should just keep on trying all month!