3 months TTC

[Jessewalt]

I know this is very early days but I am already struggling to cope with my obsessive Internet searches as to why we have not conceived.
Both 31, normal BMIs and fit and healthy. It seems everyone I know has no problem (multiple honeymoon babies in my group of friends).
I started using OPK last month, but think we just need toDTD every other day.
Anyone else in the same predicament?
I was so naive not to have considered this prior to trying!

Hi.

I understand how you feel. We are almost three months in and not much is happening. I hate not being able to control this. It was such a big decision for us to make, and now we've made it, I just want to get on with it.

Everyone seems to be pregnant it is an all consuming process. It's exhausting. I wish we could just order a baby when were ready. Ttc is so frustrating as there are so many unknowns!

Hi ladies.

I know this is easy to say, but really really try not to stress about it - 3 months is really not long at all (although I know it doesn't feel that way!) DH and I conceived on month 4 (am now nearly 8 weeks preggo) which felt like an absolute lifetime - but when I went to the GP he said 'well done, that was quick!' - apparently 9 months is the average (although he did say that, of course, all your friends will conceive in the first month :-))

Try to resist the urge to pour over the infertility forums / beat yourself up about all the things that could be wrong with you or your partner...I don't think the stressing helps with things and you have absolutely no need to worry at this stage.

Are you using the OPKs? That's what worked for us in the end... xxx

Oops just noticed your point re OPKs... we also tried to DTD everyday as well as using the OPKs so I think that's a good routine if you can keep it up! xxx

I'm temping and using opks. So the good thing is it seems I am definitely ovulating!

Thanks for the post. It's easy to get upset about it all.

Thank you so much for your replies. I am aware of how early it is. Part of the problem is that it feels quite lonely, as I can't talk to my friends about it, and I refuse to ruin my marriage by moaning at my husband!
This forum is excellent, thank you for the support

Ugh I honestly know exactly how you feel - it can be a really lonely time, particularly when all your friends seem to conceive straight away (as mine did!)

I became totally obsessed with this forum and all the lovely advice other women gave. I have now graduated onto obsessing about all my funny aches and pains and twinges, and wondering whether it's something going wrong.. so you have plenty more paranoia to look forward to once you get that BFP :-)

Very best of luck to you both xx

Jesse - why is it OH's don't have a clue. Mine would think I was mental. That's what seems to make it more lonely. He's the only one who knows we are trying and I feel I can't offload on him.

Don't know what I would do without this site!

Congrats Molly. Good luck and I hope you enjoy your pregnancy.

I am also on my third month, just approaching the 2ww though mine is shorter - thankfully!!

Join a bfp bus Jesse they are great support. Only one friend knows i am ttc and she waited 8yrs plus ivf for hrs so no way will i complain to her after three months!! The bus threads are fabulous, you feel like you get to know people a little and can discuss every little detail with people thinking you are bonkers!

Yep very frustrating, 6 months for me. DH knows how upsetting I find it each month getting a no but we talk about it together which helps. Lots of my friends got pregnant quickly/accidentally and most frustrating thing I find is when people ask if you want children implying its that easy. Hard not to say yes and we've been trying for a long time!

I don't think comparisons help anyone. Mostly you don't know the full story. Also, conception is the start of a very long line in child care. 30+ years of it. Tragic things can happen at any time in that journey. I would prefer to spend longer getting a baby (by whichever means I choose/can) than go on to have tragedy or difficulties when I have invested love in that child.
That doesn't mean it isn't frustrating, heartbreaking and desperately difficult. It is. But I don't think it's right to call it unfair etc.
I appreciate the OP isn't saying that. I'm just venting a pet hate.

Also

Some twats are insensitive
Always will be
Either tell them directly if the relationship is important or ditch them
Chances are if they're dicks about this then they're dicks about other things.

Statistically, even if you have sex exactly at the right time you only have a one infour or five chance of a pregnancy that month. Therefore anyone who gets pregnant before five months are up has just been luckier than average. I appreciate it is frustrating and i know how disappointing it is when your period shows up, but it is important to keep some perspective about it and not become too obsessed early on. If you have sex three times a week then you have a very good chance each month. Opks are helpful for hitting the right days but if you have already had sex a day or two before your positive opk your chances are better. In my opinion opks are best if you cant have sex three times a week or you have been trying longer than six months. The reason for this is they put performance pressure onto your partner which may result in a sex fail. In the early months try to keep it fun if possible. And do talk to your partner if you are feeling upset. Ttc is a joint venture after all

susie's right that you don't always know the full story. For example, some friends of mine had more or less a honeymoon baby at around 40ish, so seem very lucky. But actually they had been trying for a while and had an mc before they got married.

Three months really isn't very long but I think it is the point when you can start to get a bit twitchy that it hasn't happened instantly, as it seems to for a lot of people. It was the point at which I started googling to find out more about how it all works (beyond the obvious) and to see if there was anything I could do to help things along. But until you hit a year you should really try to relax about it.

To avoid making it too clinical, I'd suggest using OPKs but not necessarily telling your partner. That way you can make sure that you are covering the right days without making dtd all about ovulation for both of you.