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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

How did you come to the decision to TTC?

31 replies

AutumnStar · 12/09/2013 14:04

Hi ladies. I have been looking at the MN Conception boards for a while and just plucked up courage to post! Just wanted to ask how you and your OH came to the decision to start ttc? I have wanted to for a while now but he wants to wait but knows I would be ready when he was iyswim.

So did you have 'the talk' or just randomly decide the time was right? Dont want to put too much pressure on OH bit dont want to wait forever either! Please share your experiences with me !

OP posts:

Original poster

AutumnStar · 12/09/2013 14:05

excuse typos, on phone!

OP posts:

woodwaj · 12/09/2013 14:36

I like this thread I am curious as to how men see it.

Personally a fair few of our friends announced pregnancies in a short space of time, another one was announced at work and I emailed OH saying hurry up and tell me your ready! and he emailed back saying he was! Who knew it was as simple as that!

Writerwannabe83 · 12/09/2013 14:39

I don't know how it happened actually although we both always knew children would be on the cards one day.

I remember one random morning we were in the car and my partner said, "How would you feel if you got pregnant now?" I told him the truth, that I'd be devastated and would probably cry and he said that he would feel the opposite and would actually be really happy. I had no idea where it came from and took me quite by surprise.

Anyway, as we were planning our wedding we got talking again about children in relation to health problems I had, but again, only in a chit-chat sense, not actually making the decision to have one. However, 2 months before the wedding my husband had said, "Why can't we start trying for a baby now?" We couldn't because of issues of my health which I'd already explained to him about 100 times but it made me realise that he genuinely wanted us to conceive and was ready to make that step. So I put the wheels in motion of seeing my Consultants and having my Mirena removed etc and then 3 months after the wedding I got my BFP.

Has your OH said why he isn't ready yet?

Original poster

AutumnStar · 12/09/2013 14:48

Thanks for the replies ladies. I think he'd be equally happy having children as not, if that makes sense but we have agreed it will be on the cards. I think he likes our carefree life at the moment and keeps saying he'd like to wait a couple of years. Some days I agree and some days is just like to get on with it! Congratulations on your pregnancies!

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RaRaZ · 12/09/2013 16:28

We got pg unintentionally and had to have a termination for medical reasons. It nearly destroyed me and DP wasn't much better. We hadn't wanted kids imminently before that happened, but it made us realise how much we wanted them and we're ttc now (month five). We did have a real heart-to-heart about it on the beach at night on holiday - it was quite lovely really as we were right on the southern tip of Spain, looking out over the sea to Africa, and it was late, very dark, warm but breezy, and we were totally alone. We just cuddled up and talked over a bottle of wine and agreed to try for another baby asap.

FoxMulder · 12/09/2013 16:31

I turned 30 and we panicked

woodwaj · 12/09/2013 16:33

I think women tend to think more on the age side of it then men! Im still waiting on my bfp deciding to ttc is easier said than done!!

Writerwannabe83 · 12/09/2013 17:01

I'm sorry fox but that really made me laugh!!!

Suzietwo · 12/09/2013 17:14

i was married to someone else who wasnt very nice

i wanted to have children desperately and had hoped to be a young mother. i was 30 so that chance had passed

met the bloke and decided he'd make a good father. i wasnt particularly bothered by whether or not we would stay together as i was confident i could make it work either way

ditched the husband and told the bloke i wanted to have a baby. now. or he was out as i couldnt waste time.

im flexible like that

Stepawayfromthezebras · 12/09/2013 17:14

I came home in a frightful mood after a night out with friends where it felt like no-one was interested in my life because I wasn't pregnant or ttc, venting at my DP about it and he asked if I did actually want bambinos???

I've always ummed and aahed over whether I wanted them and so has he. I don't feel like it's essential for my happiness but wouldprobably like them and he's not bothered either way, so we decided as we're both getting on a bit (I'm 35, he's 39) we'd not not try and would see what happened. Que sera sera

Original poster

AutumnStar · 12/09/2013 17:21

Its really interesting hearing everyone's different stories. Suzie did you and new man stay together?

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Suzietwo · 12/09/2013 17:23

so far... 5 years and 2 kids

Lowry · 12/09/2013 17:27

Fell pregnant by accident with DS1. We both realised that we wanted the baby and were excited almost immediatly.
Ds2 and 3 were the result of delibarate conception because we just loved being parents and DS4 another much welcomed accident.

Lowry · 12/09/2013 17:29

*deliberate (pedant )

eurochick · 12/09/2013 17:32

I hit 30 and went from having zero interest in kids to wanting them.

This was followed by a break up because my OH didn't want them and then a reconciliation when he decided that actually he did, just not right then.

This was followed by a looooooooong wait for him to be ready.

And now we have been unsuccessfully ttc for almost 3 years and I am trying very hard not to be bitter about all the lost (younger) years.

PinkHat1 · 12/09/2013 17:49

So interesting to read through all your posts. DH and I had talked about having children but it always those type of "in the future, 2-3 years time when we're ready" conversations. It wasn't until we got married that those conversations changed and we seriously considered trying. It really was a case of one night DH asked "would you like to try for a baby now or next year?" I was totally shocked as I ways assumed he would want babies in the next few years! If it was up to me we would have been trying since last year but I personally wanted to wait until he was ready.(saying that, if he kept me waiting much longer I would have had to have words!)

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands · 12/09/2013 17:53

euro that must be very tough

With DC1, I suddenly became terribly broody (out of nowhere my arms seemed to physically ache to hold my own baby) and I asked DP outright whether there was any chance we could ttc. To be honest I thought he'd say no - as we had just moved house, I'd only recently qualified etc.. - I was utterly gobsmacked when he agreed without any hesitation or discussion.

I'm currently pregnant with DC2 but it took around 5 years of agonising, endless discussions that never reached a conclusion, lots of tears and a miscarriage before we agreed to ttc this baby. Very different...

Original poster

AutumnStar · 12/09/2013 18:00

I know from reading these boards that some ladies have had a really tough time so and or for you all. Really grateful to you for sharing. Might show this thread to OH to try and persuade him!

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internationallove985 · 12/09/2013 19:56

If someone had said to me this time last year I'd be ttc. I'd have laughed them out of the place. I have one D.D was happy with just the one, I mean even if I'm not blessed with any more children I'll still be just as happy with the one as soon poor women do not even get the blessing of one child. I have a good career okay it doesn't pay a fortune but it doesn't pay a pittence either. It pays enough to live reasonably comfortable life and D.D is now completely dependent. So some may ask why am I ttc, well I just woke up broody one day and I don't know where it came from (Honest). I think it could e the fact that I'm not getting any younger. If I do get pregnant though I'm definately not giving up work. After. my maternity leave and I'm going to put (hopefully) future baby "international" into a nursery, as I did with D.D. Not only does/will remaining at work give me a rest (because as gorgeous as they are you need that break) It helps get children used to being separated from you and helps them to feel more confident in starting school. It helps with their socialisation skills and no small thing but it puts more money in my pocket. Not to mention all the friends I've made at work, erm sorry for turning my comment into a working mums blog there.

Also the further irony is at one point I was even thinking of paying private to be sterilsed as I was that sure I didn't want anymore D.C my friend talked my out of it though and said "One day you might wake up broody and there doesn't have to be a reason and it turns out she was right. I thank my lucky stars I listened to her. xx

Cupcake1985 · 12/09/2013 20:17

Me and my DH always said we wanted children relatively young, he said before he was 30 ideally. We got married a year ago and had a lovely honeymoon and then decided we wanted a nice big holiday first so a year later we went to America for 3 weeks and started to ttc whilst away. DH just turned 29 and I'm 28 this month so ideal ages we think. We have good jobs, nice house and have done big hols so feel ready. Just waiting for a bfp now!

crazyhead · 12/09/2013 20:26

Me and my OH got together when I was 33 (we'd known each other as friends for years and years) and knew it was right straight away. Discussed children after about a week, and agreed that we'd like two children if possible. For various practical and emotional reasons, we agreed to start TTC the following Feb, 10 months or so after we'd got together. Anyway, got pregnant the following Feb, amazingly.

We didn't really talk so much about it after that and just got on with being happy together - it sounds a bit insane but we really wanted children and we knew it was right. He also knew I worried a lot about age and I think he knew having a plan would make it much easier for me to relax into being together. I think you must be much more calm and patient than me, euro, and I'm very sorry that your patience hasn't been rewarded with an easier journey.

Leafmould · 17/09/2013 21:31

Hi autumn star. My children were both Unplanned, but warmly welcomed. I then spent about 6 years waiting for my dp to agree to a third child. He said a lot of things like... Once we are better organised. Once we have sorted the house out. We have now split up, because of many differences in attitude, but for me one of the factors was definately his continual postponement of a third child.

Before we split up, bridget and the hairy brigands and I were on a 'waiting to ttc thread' together. Many people were waiting for their partner. It was quite an interesting thread, and I might just bump it for you. We had a slightly pointless theme.

Bridget! I DOhope you are well!

helsbells2609 · 18/09/2013 12:59

Three close friends fell pregnant one after the other and DP caught me sobbing in the bedroom and said lets get on with it!! Tears- the woman's most powerful weapon!! I was being so considerate of his feelings not wanting to push it but it is surprising how easily they agree when you think they won't!!

NomDeClavier · 18/09/2013 13:05

DS was an accident, neither of us were sure but termination wasn't an option for religious reasons, and then DH was desperate for another but I wasn't because I didn't feel my body had recovered. Then suddenly I was ready and am expecting very much wanted DC2. This is a totally different pregnancy emotionally for both of us, I think.

KedenTTC1Cycle3 · 18/09/2013 13:19

Hi Autumn,

Between DH and I, he’s always been more gung-ho about children than I have. I want children because he wants children. If he didn’t want children, I am not certain I would have any.

That said, when we got married, I insisted I wanted 5yrs of marriage before any children. He checked in last year (3yrs in) and I was still adamant about it. This year (4yrs in) he laid it all out and just said he really was ready and wants to get on with it. I was struck by how heartfelt he was about it and thus decided to go ahead with it .

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