Went to docs today to talk about probs conceiving. She said she will refer me as I'm 33 have one tube.
Problem is DH will have to go for a sperm test before she can do this. I'm not sure how he will react. He is a quiet man with staunch religious beliefs and is training to be a priest. I love him dearly and yet as he's not home (he's gone out for a drink with his best mate) I can't speak to him about it.
He may surprise me and say yep no problem.
However if he refuses I can't be referred.
I have my DD (12) so in an immensely selfish way at least I've done it. (Please don't flame me I'm just trying to balance my mind) question is can I go the rest of my life (if it doesn't happen naturally) thinking 'was there something wrong with me and could it have been fixed?'
I am desperate to be a mum again and every month I'm disappointed.
I know his views are just as valid as mine and I'd never want to emotionally blackmail him into doing something he felt uncomfortable with.
I just want to talk to him and he's not here so I'm venting on here. I hope you don't mind. My head is a mess. I hope I've not upset anyone with my post its just all spilling out. All those deep thoughts.
Did I do something to deserve my tube loss? Am I being punished?
Gah. Rambling.