Worried I'm not good enough

[leafonthewind]

I didn't know whther her or AIBU was the best place, since I've just started reading her but have only been to AIBU otherwise.

I just don't know and I'm concerned.

My partner and I want to try for a baby after the new year. Our jobs will (hopefully) be in the right place and we both have wanted a baby for the last couple of years.

The only thing I'm worried about is..myself.

I am terrified I'll be a shit mum when the time comes. I have no doubts with DP, he throws himself wholeheartedly into things and is keen to be a SAHP if (which I doubt ) we could afford it.

I am worried I'll get ditzy or distracted, or something. Even bored after a few months. I'm worried I'm too selfish for a baby. I love looking after my nephew (3), having him for weekends, but I'm always relieved to give him back at the end-even if i miss him. You can't 'give back' your own baby to anyone.

Add to that, I have intrusive thoughts, which make me feel like a really shitty person-even if i don't ever agree with them, or support them.

My DP knows and is happy to wait til whenever, and i really don't want to wait any more because I do want a baby but i suppose my AIBU is-is this normal? I know people are never ready, but are they ever really scared or nervous Do they worry they'll fuck up like this? I'd never forgive myself if i let my own child down.

Did anyone else wonder and question and feel the need to ask someone, anyone?

aww, Leaf, I think you sound like you'd make a brilliant, mum!! The crap mums are the ones who DON'T have these doubts and worries, who DON'T ask themselves these questions.

I'm sorry to hear about the intrusive thoughts and I absolutely know what you mean about not agreeing with them or supporting them but experiencing them nonetheless.

You sound caring, kind, sensible, self-aware, humble, and open-minded. What more could anyone ask for from a parent? I think any child would be lucky to have you. Yes, you will screw up and let your child down sometimes, because everyone does. But you sound like the sort of person who will realise when they make mistakes, own up to your failings, deal with them, and do your best to make things better when they go wrong. You sound, in other words, like the closest thing this imperfect world gets to a perfect parent.