Harry Potter and the rise of the BESH: Instadiffers, baby dusters and huns will be subject to the spell Evanesco!!.

[RaspberrySnowCone]

Expecto Patronum

If you are you over 30 and have been ttc for over 12 months, are witch like or even better a complete hag and willing to abuse your powers of wizardry to conjure up gin by the bucket load, then fill out the Beshionnaire and join us if you dare in our battle against BESH curse.

Instadiffers and baby dusters will be turned into frogs and used in a potion.

Peskipiksi Pesternomi!!!

Sorry that your friends aren't more supportive Bugs.

Happy anniversary Rasp!

Happy anniversary Rasp, euro we were leather this year too. Three years.... THREE years, where did all that time go?!

Sis' probs are in the small intestine euro - at the risk of reviving the digestive chat - anyone have any relevant knowledge of this? I've so far managed to stay away from Dr Google. Head in sand and some positivity about this is working quite well for me just now before we have any real detail.

Thank god for my four legged friend, he's such a dude.

I know my friends elderly father had cancer there, they whipped it out. He had a course of treatment and had a colostomy bag for a while as he recovered but it did the job and it got rid of the cancer. Keeping everything crossed it's a simple job!

Evening hags! I see some new names, so I might have to go back through freds and freds. For your info, I am old, nearly 3 years married too, and in many other things euro's evil twin. The long story is both of us 34, over 3yrs TTC, 1 IUI+SO BFP mc at 7+4 last year, and a chem diffment after IVF 1 last month. Six frosties though, so still something to play with. Just returned from two weeks of doing everything that is off the cards when diffed and feeling much better for it!

Ok. I shall attempt the questionnaire

Me 33 DH 28
I have only my left Fallopian tube and we have been ttc for 13 months now
I'm exceptionally hag-esque although DH loves me
I have DD (12) who lives with her DDad and lovely stepmum (have posted before about great relationship with them)

Now what does BESH stand for and what can I do to better my chances of tinyBreville?

Not that any of you lot need to know this but in my battle to get of this bloody spot I have been looking at my fanoire. Fanoires really are gross, almost as bad as doofers.

BESH is 'bitter evil selfish hags' or I sometimes say the B is for Barren. Basically coined by some twat from the daily mail who thinks that anyone who leaves it until their thirties to have a child is an undeserving, bitter, evil, selfish hag and therefore deserving of ever having a child. 'twas the same twat as decreed Stephen gately's death to be expected what with being gay. Because all gay men die just like that. Fucking idiot woman.

Why am I so angry tonight? MATV is making me steak! STEAK! Nom.

Get *rid of this bloody spot. Stoopid phone.

*UNdeserving FFS!!!!

The BESHtionnaire can be found towards the end of the previous BESH thread, Breville. Looking forward to your answers! Generally speaking, you'd have to have quite a good case for BESHhood if you already have kids, though - we're mostly totally barren round these parts.

ewww rasp Baaad mental imagery Though I shall forgive you for the comforting example of your friend's dad that you provided earlier. Nice post fanks.

Hi Driz, glad you enjoyed your last two weeks of living it up like a non diffed bod and are feeling better.

After a LOT of searching (while there's a man drilling in my spare bedroom, making my house rumble - and that's not a euphemism!!) I think I have found it. If this isn't it, then I'm about to look like a reet daft bugger, aren't I?

BESHtionnaire/citizenship test:

1. Do you like gin?
   Yes. I don't like tea
   I like GIN

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Cougar! 4.5 years his senior and proud

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

"Every sperm is sacred every sperm is great. When a sperm gets wasted. God gets quite irate"
Always the foofoo except when really drunk and trying desperately to have very QUIET sex as next room to Bil and Sil

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

I smile say "that's great" and then get very angry with my ovaries!

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

He is the source of all evil and has spawned Hettie Hoovers

6. Number of pets?
   My familiar. GruberCat Prince of Darkness?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   Sean Pertwee KBTB (kick boxer toy boy) says Jeremy Kyle I have slapped him for this

8. Lesbian crush?
   Liv Tyler

9. What are your views on camping?
   I try not to loiter within tent

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Too much to mention. Every month I think I am
Damn my limited slip differential

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

Harry Potter caught my eye. I had FOBF (Fall out boy fan daughter)at 20 by accident and since losing my tube in 06 am terrified that I will never be able to have another. She has siblings from her dad and yes I'm immensely jealous. Everyone around me has either had or is and if I have ONE more snarky comment from my cousins mum about how I 'better be getting on with it' ill scream.
I'm terrified I don't work anymore and I don't know if I'm ovulating I have no proof so I'm dipping a toe in the finding out what I need to do to check I work without putting too much pressure on KBTB

Copy and paste fail there with the top bit sorry

that's made my day! Thanks.

Now I have the basics of how I work. I've been using an app on the phone to calculate my best days and chasing KBTB round to DTD

Should I go for ov sticks? Doctor? Temping?

And some lovely extra info related to the other thread
I too suffer with stomach issues due to a ruptured bowel at same time they discovered the abscess on my tube.
Life saving surgery. Very happy to be here.
However.
Since they let air into what was previously a 'sealed unit' a somewhat deadly side effect has been produced.

I've had Kim Jong Un emailing me for the chemical compounds of my farts. I can't even blame the cat!
Luckily I work in a car factory and can wander round blaming it on the men!

HWCA would be very unimpressed if I tried to get him to watch Geordie Shore.

I am watching Kill Bill and finding the part where she wakes up from her coma to find her baby missing from her womble surprisingly sad.

I don't mind a fanois. They look better than a floppy willy, I think. Maybe not a pus-y one though.

Hi ToastieMaker, despite having managed to breed you seem to me like you'll do well in here :) I'm winks, 32, 2yrs ttc, pcos & unreliable ovulation, bfp waiting to start clomid but mmc discovered at 9 weeks. Waiting for periods to restart after ERPC 2weeks ago so I can get back in the game. Married to HWCA (Husband without a cool acronym), named after Organisation Without A Cool Acronym in Phineas and Ferb.

Hi winks Thanks for letting me join! (I read HWCA as Harlem Women's Christian Association til I saw the explanation

Well he's never been to New York, definitely isn't a woman, doesn't follow any religion and as he doesn't generally like people wouldn't join any Association - but, close

Hags I developed a new embarrassing crush last week and meant to share, but have forgotten. Boo.

I've decided I have a crush on Lady Gaga. No idea why but I do.

I've also just realised that this will be the thread on which I have my IVF.

Anapneo!

Thanks Winks :) Tom Sellack is not an embarrassing crush, I've always found him pretty sexual. Think it was his stint on friends that did it for me

When he's in the super tight high waisted flares in Magnum its pretty embarrassing :)

breville your name hasn't half got me craving a cheese ham and ketchup toastie