Aaaargh
Please be kind to me I am a newbie to the site but wanted to start as I mean to go on any hopefully make some support buddies for the future.
So much easier to 'chat' to strangers sometimes.
Potted history. Am 36 next week, and made the decision (not alone) to get my coil removed yesterday.
For the past 10+ yrs I had convinced myself I didn't want kiddies but now being finally in a living relationship I realise I was lying to myself all this time. Still sh1t scared but if you don't try you will never know. So adrenalin coursing, met with quit smoking people today quit date 31/8. Started taking vitamins. Boyfriend works offshore so won't be back til my bday (29th) and we are on hols from 31st so thought may be as good a time as any. Have so many things going through my head. Have spent so many years trying NOT to get pregnant almost seems wrong to be trying... Well come next thurs
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Thing is everything seems to be against me. Age 31 I was diagnosed as going through an early menopause FSH 59. Granted at the time I was pretty poorly with Crohn's disease. Periods returned after 2 1/2 yrs, and it was another year til I felt stronger to go and be re-tested. Then FSH 9. High end of normal but still.. Trust me menopause and sweats ARE as bad as everyone says!
Dealt with that alone due to previous bad relationship and my close family is a way away. Just the way it happens sometimes.
But moving forwards have met a man who is not (A a cheating bastard, B a married man) someone who as my barriers start to come down and I realise I can actually trust I learn every day I love him more.
I now want to have the normal things everyone else takes for granted. Am prepared for the worst but hoping for the best if that makes sense?
Sorry for the rambling first message but if anyone wants to reply would appreciate it.
Thanks