2 consecutive miscarriages - what a mess

[suzi4577]

Hi, in may I found out I was preg and then 2 weeks later had mc early at 5 weeks, this was like slightly heavier more painful period. I had no period in between and got pregnant straightaway. At 8 weeks I started bleeding with brown blood and went to drs, he referred me to epu and I had internal scan dating me at 6 weeks - they could see sac but no baby. I had to come back 10 days later, by then I was just over 11 weeks. The hospital showed me the sac had not developed and still no baby, I was devestated. I opted for the natural mc as the last one had been bearable and the Dr said that this would be like that. Not really the case, it has been very painful with lots of blood and the sac passed the size of an orange. I was not expecting this at all, it has been horrible and I have felt dizzy and pathetic. I can't face my bf, I sent my other children to there dads for summer break with him and told my mum I am at my bf house. The nurse said it could be linked to new partners sperm as all previous pregnancies OK, they will only check me out if I mc again. Not much chance of that as i have been horrible to bf as I just want to be left alone, he is angry with me now and I don't know if I care, mixed with feelings of I need to try again!! What a mess my head is in.

Hi Suzi. Sending you lots of support and hugs. Sorry to hear of your losses. I know the pain of having an miscarriage. I thankfully went on to have my D.D 19 months after losing my angel who I often have dreams about (would have been a girl, according to my dreams) I had one dream where she came to me and kissed my on the check and said "I love you mum". I woke crying. xxx

Sorry to hear this Suzi. MCs are terrible things to go through - I had one earlier this year. I hate the fact that hospitals/GPs will only look into what's causing them after you've had three, but I suppose MC is so common that they'd never have the resources to investigate every single one. You could try to take a positive from that though: because they're so common, it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong as such. Sometimes it just happens. Could be a chromosomal abnormality or a failure to properly implant; doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with your partner (or you). But ofc you're going to be unhappy. Aside from the terrible loss, you've got a hormone crash to deal with and lots of worries for the future. Take some time off work and allow yourself to deal with the grief. Well done for sending your children away for now. I think you need to try and talk to your DP though; you need to get through this together.

Internationallove, I have been having dreams to. They have been about my youngest child, that I have lost him and am constantly searching for him, they are exhausting. Your dreams made me cry, I am not sure if that is sad or comforting - probably both. Congratulations on your dad.

Raraz - thank you for your comment, I am so sorry to hear of your loss to. Yes the hospital have been quite clinical about the whole thing, I have to go back next week for scan to check all gone, one trip I am not looking forward to. The last mc my do WS as a rock and this time I just have pushed him away, its like I need him but can't bare to be near him.....he keeps saying he shouldn't have put me through all this - what is that supposed to mean.....its hardly his fault.

Tab correcting my spellings Internationllove - sorry. That was congrats on your dd, not you dad!