Any other ex-pats out there?

[bushprincess]

Thought I'd throw it out there and see if there's anyone else out there TTC/pregnant and away from home... I'm only on the second cycle of TTC and already my mind is buzzing with the logistics of it... to fly home or not to fly home... etc!

Would love to have somewhere to discuss all the little things with... especially how I'll deal without my (purely antimalarial of course) G&T's!!

Me! Though might not be in exactly the same position, but I'm Canadian and living in the UK because my husband is British.. We're just starting to think of a family really, but I'm also starting to think about the logistics of everything. His family are nearby, but it's not the same as having my family around. Add to this the fact that we might be relocating to Singapore for a while and I'm getting worried!

bush There was a woman posted on Conception years ago who was living in Africa TTC and didn't even find out she was pregnant until 12 weeks. She was worried of course because she'd taken anti-malarial but it was all good and as it turned out she was posted back to the UK for the time of the actual birth.

Hi wispaxmas and Dolomites nice to 'meet' you both...
I think whatever country you're in it's a big decision when you haven't got your family around the corner... are you in the UK permanently wispaxmas, will some of your family be able to de-camp to be with you at least for the early months??

And Dolomites - where in the world are you??

I'm in Africa - but not in a malarial area (phew) so thats one less worry... but there are so many things I'm already thinking about - health services down to silly things like 'where will I buy maternaty clothes;?!!!

Only in the second month of TTC so might not have to worry about it all for a while yet! what about you guys - where are you in the process??

bush I'm in The Netherlands and had both my children here. The first time was hard because I was very ill with pre-eclampsia and so he was premature and I really wanted my mum. The second time was a doddle. My recommendation would be to hire a maternity nurse so there's someone to look after you.

I'm not pregnant now, but was until four weeks ago today . We had to move from one expat posting to another during the pregnancy and it was incredibly stressful and exhausting. I would recommend that if you are lucky enough to be pregnant and unlucky enough to be in a situation where you have to move, then you do everything you can to stay put until after the birth.

Also, I'd recommend that if you're lucky enough to get pregnant that you look for other mums to be who are due around the same time. With DC1 I had a group of friends due three months before me and made some others due at the same time. After the early group gave birth, I didn't spend much time with them until a month or so after I'd given birth. Being far from family usually means that either you go home or they come out after the baby arrives, which combined with recovery and taking care of a newborn, takes people out from socialising a whole lot. People who give birth around the same time are usually in the same boat at the same time, which makes keeping in touch easier. A few months down the line it's all back to "normal" though!

Oh and I absolutely recommend a postpartum doula or something similar, especially if you're not going to have (considerate, helpful) family around. I had one the second time and think every woman everywhere should have one!

Congrats on your recent little one knot!! hope you are both doing well... and thanks you and Dolomite for the Doula recommendation, I'll have an Ayah here, but will ask around about nurses too....

Dolomite can well imagine wanting my mother in that situation... I'm hoping that my parents will come out here as I'd rather not fly home (leaving DH for all that time etc)...

anyhow... have to get my BFP first! only 1dpo so far!!

Hi - I've just got back to the UK, and am 25 weeks. I was in SE Asia. Excellent private healthcare there, but no maternity clothes, and especially no bras for someone with above a D cup try getting up to F!! I've also lived in Africa. I guess that some things are mega expensive or not obtainable, like pregnancy vitamins, and such, so you could get people to post them out to you. I found the heat really hard once I was pregnant even though I loved it before. And I second the person saying that moving during pg is hard. I was just moving home and have found it harder than expected!
Good luck.

Hello I'm away from the uk currently too. Ttc #2. Not having much luck so far (6 months). Part of the point of us taking this posting was so we could have another baby and I could be at home with them both...

I'm not even thinking about whether I'd stay here to have the baby or go back to the uk if we were lucky enough to get pregnant. Wish that I was in the position to make that decision! I know a few mums here who have stayed and a few who have gone back. They both have pros and cons.

We moved to Australia when I was pg with DC3 - was a very difficult time for all of us! But I think we are just coming out of it now and our little girl is coming up to 3 months.

Personally it has made me realise how much I valued being around family when I had my other babies - and with them as young children. I feel v vulnerable now as we are far from all our friends and family - I just think about what woudl happen if one of the children had an accident or was really ill (or possibly worse if something happened to me....). But I think with only one DC it would not be as difficult, except for the early weeks, as there are less competing needs to worry about. Also I know that expats established somewhere are in a different position - we haven't yet established a strong network of friends.

I would differ in opinion from the poster above who suggests moving after the birth rather than while pregnant as I was so glad to be settled before DD arrived. Being still in the early weeks of sleep deprivation and non-stop feeding etc, I really couldn't even think about organising and executing a move - I don't think it would be particularly easy at any time during the first 2 years of a child's life as there are significant demands and their needs aren't v flexible. My DC were 8 and 4 when we moved which was easy - no carseats, cots, nappies, pushchairs needed. Also could manage changes in routine, food, etc v easily.

Hi all, Mutley sorry you've found the move hard but very glad things seem to be getting easier for you... I'm really hoping we'll not get moved on anytime soon, but I'm not going to avoid moving with young kids at somepoint (assuming everything goes well and we get some fx!) ... and with each move comes building a new network of friends etc... difficult enough pre kids let alone after!

I hope you get yourself a good network soon so you can feel a little more secure and settled

littlepig very best of luck with TTC#2... do keep us updated

keepitgoing How do you feel being home? I hope you're glad to be back - and you'll definately find it easier to find everything you need... I could probably get most things I want out here, but things are so expensive its crazy!... no popping out to boots..

anyhow... all ahead of myself... will let you know if we actually manage to get a BFP and start on this journey properly!