Should I try to get pregnant at same time as sister?

[lollydollydrop]

My SIL has 2 DCs (5.5 yo DD, 2.5 yo DS) although she has always wanted three, they decided to stop at 2 due to finances more than anything. Her DH is due to get snipped early next year.

I am 28 and in a long term rship, just finishing my MSc after returning to Uni, and we will hopefully be in a position to buy a house in 1-2 years. The original plan is to buy a house, and me be in a job related to my degree before we start trying, so maybe in 2 years.

However I found out that theres a chance my SIL may be pregnant- she is having symptoms and will do a test next month. We have always wished we had children close in age, but it didnt work out that way (shes older than me, met her DH before me etc).

Now I feel like, if the test comes back positive shall I change my plans to wait TTC when I'm 30 and bring it forward in the hope we could have cousins similar in age and share family more etc. That may sound really naive, and I completely appreciate it could take years to conceive anyway, but just incase it didnt we would need to make sure we were ready when we first start to try.

What are your thoughts/experiences of this? Do I take it as a sign and stop putting it off, or is it silly to TTC before we even have money for a house deposit? Would I regret one more than another? Do you wish your cousins were closer in age?

Thanks x

I wouldn't. Start ttc when you and your partner want to - not to fit in with cousins etc. If it takes longer than planned, you may find yourself with an extra layer of sadness. Unknown to me, I and my SIL got pregnant at exactly the same time. I miscarried, she didn't and it was very tough through the pregnancy and on his birthday. Obviously I'm not saying that this will be the case for you, and I really hope it's not! My siblings and in-laws have children and I do feel sad that if we do have a child they won't be that close in age. But there's a lot to be said for having cool older cousins, and your baby will have plenty of friends their own age. Good luck whatever you decide!

What a silly reason for considering changing your plans. TTC when you are ready and your partner is ready.

FWIW I am incredibly close to one of my cousins and he is 7 years older than me.

hello Lolly,
You mentioned you just finished your MCs after returning to uni. Congrats! Now, sorry to be the career oriented b* that I am but is now the time to TTC, cousins or not? The quicker you get a degree related job, the better IMHO. And it might be hard if you're planning to be pregnant soon. My sister's children were the last thing on my mind when I started asking all day, everyday for 4 years my DC for us to TTC.
I realise how terrible for someone not in your situation to be giving you advice but I'm taking the employability angle, that, I know.
All the best, whatever you and your partner decide.

There's nothing wrong with TTC before you buy a house but I do think having a baby because your SIL is is a bit ridiculous. If you had one in 2/3 years the age gap of cousins would still be close once they get older. Focus on your life and have a baby when you & your husband are ready

I couldn't have cared less about the age of other family members, tbh, and I think this is a really silly reason to consider changing your plans.