After Trying for 21 months partner seems to have given up

[Hyland]

:( with work and other commitments it just seems like he doesn't make time, I fear this month will be the same.

I get the whole having a break for a while but I've never really showed my true headcase lol abilities whilst we have been trying, so I don't feel it's been stressful for him.

The only thing he may be able to say is that it's weird forcing itself to be in the mood in that window of opportunity.

No real suggestions sorry, but didn't want you to go unanswered.

Have you spoken to him about it?

We never did the charting, doing it at the right time thing. So I know the pressure wasn't there for my DH to perform at certain times. We just had sex about 3 times a week. This seemed to work, at least for us anyway. We also had a few drunken nights out. Perhaps you could arrange a couple of nights out with him?

One thing that worked for my bf when she'd been struggling to conceive and things had become a little stressed and fraught at home was to have a relaxing weekend away with friends and she left DH at home. Think they realised how much they actually loved one another and both really missed each other. Luckily for her she got pg on her return.

Hope you get the result you want soon too

Thankyou for replying

Everything just seems to get in the way....

We're on holiday on what I believe to be the best time to dtd this month..
So we would need to do it before we drive to the airport or as soon as we get there .... And let's face it most people are to tired once they arrive after a 7/8 hour flight and the morning off I will probably still be throwing things in the suitcase still lol

On a serious note I'm always happy to make time but I do feel like he doesn't like to be told when to have sex ... Even though I try and take the pressure of by saying these 5 days are probably our best chance .... It just doesn't seem to have worked or happened as frequently, some months I have tried saying nothing at all and that doesn't work, we jut miss it completely, last month was really hot at night time and so didn't happen and the month before I was recovering from dental surgery and so this month I feel extra anxious for us not to miss out.

Oh and he doesn't drink lol

How old are you both? Have you spoken to your GP?

I'm 34 he's 27... Spoke to gp last month he said I could have blood test on 5 th and 21 st day but I was already on the 8th day at the time so figured I would wait til this month and then realised my 5 th day landed on weekend when the pathology lab isn't even open :(

I love sex and I really wouldn't like to be told when to dtd. Nis it that precise that you have to do it those few hours? I've been pg 5 times and can't believe I was that lucky to do it in that short window of opportunity every single time.

I'd just try to relax a little. Talk to DH about how you are feeling, remind him how much you love him and suggest you have a couple drinks, even if he doesn't want one, then get your stockings on.

Hopefully it will all work out for you soon, but I think you need to stop fretting about this golden time and just start having regular and enjoyable sex with your DH.

Agree that a trip to the GP could be in order too

I have an 11 year old ... And work 6 days a week.. Our job is quite stressful and my partner is at the gym 3 times a week, so evenings are stolen away from us a bit.

Just feeling really low

Can totally understand why you feel low. What time does your DC go to bed and what time does DH get in from the gym? We both have stressful jobs but tend to look at sex as something to help ease the stress and we look forward to it, rather than just one more job to add to the list.

We live in a village so by the time he gets back its usually 9.30 or 10.40 and then he'll have a bath and then I can see it in his eyes he's to tired, so basically 3 days of my week and most Sundays are redundant days.

I'm sure most people know what I mean when I say that there man works all day and then comes home has dinner and falls asleep on the sofa, some days just feel like that every day lol

Would your dp be prepared to do a semen analysis as that is the next test the gp should order. If good results it might encourage him? He may be feeling pressured as you have a child already so may be hiding behind the " I do not like to be told" etc.

No, can't imagine it - I wish my DH was happy to fall asleep on the sofa, I am the one always avoiding sex in our relationship - sorry to be jovial when I know it is a serious matter for you..

Are you sure he wants a baby, he is 27, that can be quite 'young' for a man, perhaps having your DD is enough (is he DD's father, not that it makes any difference?)

He's an old 27 ... We've had our own house/ mortgage together now for 3 years and it was him that gave us the go ahead to start a family. Now that we have some security etc. I think he's jut very shocked its not happened already... And he said he would do the semen test once I get my blood results ( which I have to wait till next month to do now)

Hi ya,

Just thought I would say that I understand how you feel, my OH says theres no rush and I understand that, but he works away for 8 weeks then home for 4 so this limits us and like you I haven't showed him my crazy side lol
OH doesn't know when my fertile time is, the less pressure for them the better I reckon when it comes down to dtd

Maybe you could pack your bags nice and early before your holiday and wake him up for 'breakfast in bed' before you go. :)

I think if my oh knew how crazy it made us thy would put a stop to us trying, through fear if a mental breakdown lol it's quite easy for it to consume you and ur every thought and decision and all future plans.