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Conception

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TTC, feeling very low, need a kindly kick up the bum (I think). Or chocolate. Chocolate would do.

4 replies

CakesAreNotTheAnswer · 13/08/2013 19:08

OK. This is a very silly first-worldy sort of issue, especially to anyone who has struggled with genuine difficulty to conceive but I can't talk to anyone irl about this except Dh and I haven't really got it straight in my head yet so don't want to drag him into interminable conversations until I know where I'm going with this.

DS was born a year and a half ago, he was conceived the first month of trying. Things didn't go brilliantly during the birth and I then had horrific post natal care which led to flashbacks, nightmares etc etc blah-di-blah.

Fast forward to now. We've been trying for DC2 for three months. The first month was very half arsed, the second one was still a bit tentative, plus my af arrived ten days early (for the first time ever), but the month just gone we really went all-out and put our backs into it. After symptom spotting for a week I started bleeding properly today and obviously this month was not our month.

Basically I feel unbelievably sad. I feel like I felt when I was trying to come to terms with how wrong my birth experience had gone. I feel like my body has let me down again. I feel stupidly heartbroken for someone who has only recently decided to even try.

Someone talk some sense to me. Someone offer some explanation why I'm so very dispirited. Is Flisspaps around? She offered so much kind and sensible advice after my son was born that I still remember her name all these months later. I need some more of that.

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VJONES1985 · 13/08/2013 19:20

Oh, I wish I knew what to say passes the chocolate I would feel exactly the same as you but I think it's important to remember that three months isn't long and that your body did not let you down - it produced a wonderful child and you have recovered from it, showing just how strong you really are.

Suzietwo · 14/08/2013 07:56

If I was a total hippy then I'd say your concerns about childbirth are having a physical impact on your ability to conceive this time. Maybe focus on that for a bit and try and put it to bed.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 14/08/2013 08:14

Hi - I feel quite similar. Like you, I conceived my son first go. In May this year we decided to ttc again and conceived immediately. Ten days after my BFP I miscarried and the following month failed to conceive. I tested ridiculously early today (period not due for a week at least) and got a BFN and have that same sense of overwhelming failure, like I can't rely on my body to work properly or like I've used up all my luck. I'm used to being optimistic but now I just feel like the worst is inevitable.

In my case I think the problem is that I just haven't come to terms with the miscarriage. Is this the case for your birth experience and do you think seeking some help with this might be beneficial?

CakesAreNotTheAnswer · 14/08/2013 09:55

I've had help with the birth experience stuff. Even put a plan in place for the next birth so I could take back control. I am prepared to fight for myself next time. Fight not to be ignored and left alone.

Just feel disassociated from my body. Am overwhelmed and a bit disgusted by the bleeding. Very at odds with myself. I didn;t used to be.

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