Tears Every Month ?

[rob99]

Hello,

Anyone out there any good advice on conception after vasectomy reversal .Had VR 8 months ago - not firing blanks any more but my wife hasn't conceived yet. She gets really depressed and cries every time she starts her period. Also, my wife tried getting some fertility tablets to improve chances of conceiving but the doctor she was referred to refused to administer tablets because her hormone levels etc were Ok. This also upset her although I understand that this was probably my wife just thinking that her chances of conceiving were slightly reduced by this decision but in reality, possibly not.

Any advice appreciated.

Cheers

If your wife has no fertility issues there is no point in her being prescribed hormone tablets (I'm presuming it was Clomid), it will not make any difference.

I don't know anything about vasectomy reversals so cannot help on that front, but I do know how tough TTC is - it took us 3 years to conceive. In the nicest possible way, 8 months is no time at all. Most healthy couples will take up to 1 year to conceive.

It is hard dealing with your period arriving, but your wife needs to understand that it is something she has no control over. If you look at the odds of getting pregnant each month, it's only about 25% even if you get the timing right.

It sounds like your wife needs to seek out fertility counselling. I had a session earlier this year and it really did help me.

Sending you and your wife very best wishes. My husband manages to come out with things that help (probably just me, rather than anyone else!), like telling me that our next baby will be all the more precious for our waiting for it, and so on. He always manages to sound completely sure that everything will work out too, and he's so calm about it. When I'm in floods of tears about seeing 200 pregnant women a day, he'll tell me that our bump will be here when it's ready, and how much fun we'll have. Not sure if that helps at all, but I'm trying to say that it helps when he normalises stuff and tells me that it's normal to feel bad (we had a miscarriage), and it helps that he talks about babies like it's so impossible that it won't happen. Good luck!

It took us 18 months and 2 mc to get our amazing DD - and I cried almost every month when I wasn't pregnant and also every time one of my friends got pregnant before me (without even trying!). It's so emotional and hormones when your period comes dont help. My husband just gave
me lots of hugs, let me cry, reassure me that we'd keep trying and one day we would get our baby and we did. He was truly amazing and it helped to know he wanted a baby just as much as I did.

I also tried to do some things to take control like monitor my temps to know when I ovulated and took vitamins etc. no idea if it helped and I became a little obsessive but I needed to do something to make me think I could possibly make that little sperm and egg meet!

Good luck

Hello, not personal experience but that of a close fried. Her DP had his reversal in october. She is currently about 29 weeks pregnant. Yes, it was very very quick! Not sure if this is helpful or not but what i am trying to say is...his follow up tests were all fine which presumably yours were too. Other than that, she was VERY determined - had been charting her cycle, knew when she was ovulating, and sha**ing like a think possessed at the 'right' time. Are you just dtd as and when or being more planned about it?

Good luck and don't worry. You are fine and she is fine so it will surely happen for you.

Thanks for replies.

We are trying at the right time in my wife's cycle every month.

I should have mentioned that my wife is 42 so time is the enemy partly because my wife has a theoretical time limit she has set herself because she doesn't want to conceive when she's "too old"...and I know 42 may be considered too old to some anyway.

Here's a curve ball......we have two grown up daughters together so this child would be our third, although it's so long since we had kids, I feel like a complete novice.

I hope we conceive soon. Thanks again

My partner and i have been trying for 2 years had 2 miscarriages and one im not sire about and werre atill trying its aounding likes shes very stressed which will not help at all relx nd have fun in the moment dont mak tryig to concieve a chore as it is less likely to happen and as for you vasectomy reversal there are chance she may never become pregnant (dnt mean to be harsh but its trye) there are alot of vr that dnt succeed in a pregnancy as the tubes are so damaged and yous both need to prepare yourself for the fact that she may never have a baby and it is something you and your wife need to come to terms with sorry x

Sorry about miscarriages. I'm prepared for not conceiving but I don't think my wife is. I know my VR and our ages are counting against us and success is a long shot, but my wife isn't good at accepting or even contemplating these hard facts.

At my age I can do without the stress of my wife's unhappiness but what can a bloke do?

Anno i completely understand but its not good for her health she really does need to come to terms of it for her own benefit and its not easy u shouldnt have to be able to cope with your wifes unhappiness you have to keep yourself going aswell and i really do think she shud go to a doctor and get a full review and the chances explained to her by a professional :( its is the only way she is going to realise she might not even fall pregnant and its a blessing that you have two adults daughters cz sone people can never have any as i am still trying to stay possitive xx

Thanks MNA, I realise we have been very lucky and everything and my heart goes out to childless couples, it really does. My wife was always at her happiest and best and content when the babies/kids were at home and I'd love to see her like that again as selfish as that sounds. We have experienced it and I'm praying that you and your partner get to experience it too. Keep your chin up

Thanks love and i understand its not selfish at all xx