TTC at 35 plus, its quite scary isn't it?

[Itchywoolyjumper]

We're hoping to make a start on the conception of DC2 this month.
As I was 35 2 months ago I thought I'd do a wee bit of reading to help maximise my chances of a healthy wee one and it all seems to be bad news. It seems my fertility has plummeted, my risk of miscarriage and birth defects has soared, I'm more likely to have a difficult birth and poor recovery and I'll have less energy to deal with the early years.
I'm feeling quite sad and scared. I really want a sibling for DS but it all seems that I've left it too late.
Has anyone got any stories that might help me feel a bit more positive?

Someone on another thread gave this link:
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/2/

It seems the statistics which are often referred to are quite outdated and you have just as much chance conceiving as someone 5-10 years younger.

Best of luck!

Quite outdated? I particularly liked where she explained that one of the most quoted statistics is based on the French birth rate from 1679 to 1830 .
The panic was really setting in there, everything you read tells you you've left it too late so it was very reassuring to read someone who had been in that position and had come out the other side with a full squad of wee ones.
Thanks very much for posting, you've made me feel so much better.

That French birth rate statistic amazed me too!! And yes, maybe more than just "quite" outdated

Glad it made you feel better I'm 30 and been trying to conceive for 8 months so made me feel better too, thinking that if it does take a while its not the end of the world

Good luck to you too, it will happen. I was 31 when I fell pregnant with DS and my pregnancy buddies were 33 and 34.
Thanks again

I'm 37 in the autumn and me and DP are discussing TTC in New Year - it will be my first time and I'm scared stupid about my age.
Purely the only reason I hadn't tried before was simply because I was singe for a long time and felt that a child should have 2 parents who love him or her very much.

But Kate Garraway needs to seriously wind her neck in with the keep Britain fertile bollox, it doesn't help!!

So yep, OP, feeling fear too

Fox thanks for the links.

I will be 40 in November and have been panicking regarding my age. I have a DS who is 6 years old abd have been TTC #2 since November. Prior to that we have been TTC on and off for 2 years with no luck.

We have been told that IVF is my only option and I've started saving up for that. One cycle will cost us £7k, gulp Hopefully we'll have the money together by next April.

Good luck to all x

Kate Garraway is a pain, not least because she was older when she had her kids.
Brummie, I didn't have my kids earlier for similar reasons. In my twenties I had a couple of long term boyfriends who were much more interested in getting pissed and taking drugs than having a family and a lot of my female friends were in the same position. At the time I read an interesting article about men extending what they felt to be the high value part of their lives by putting off family responsibilities.
Perhaps the next Kate Garraway campaign should be targeting these boy-men instead of rubbing the noses of women who've been trying to start a family for the best part of a decade.