How hard is it having three?

[99redballoons]

We are so lucky to have beautiful ds, almost 3, and dd, 7 months. I think dh is quite happy with two. He himself is one of two boys. I come from a family of three.

It's such a hard decision, trying for a third. I know I'm for it more than dh, but I think he secretly would love a third if it meant we could afford to have three. At the moment it's a case of do we let our heads or our hearts rule over this one. We are only just surviving on one income at the moment and I'm not sure if having three will be fair on ds & dd in the long run. But then I say to dh that I will be working again once the kids are at school and hopefully it won't always be such a struggle.

I guess we're also thinking about how physically demanding life will be. We were both so very tired when I was pg with dd. I can't imagine coping with two lo's when pg again. However, it doesn't seem as daunting this time round as we've survived the first six months of sleepless nights and are starting to get full nights again. Have started to learn how to juggle things with two of them so surely juggling three isn't that much harder??

Sorry, starting to ramble. I guess what I'm asking is how much more of a strain financially and physically is it going from two to three? How many years down the line does it not feel such a struggle?

My mum said the first six years are the hardest, when the last finally leaves babydom and enters toddlerhood. She also said the teenage years were quite hard financially as you're paying adult prices for clothes, shoes etc. and needing the next size up each year as the kids are still growing. She would love us to have three, but she's biased as she had three! ARrgh, decisions decisions!!

hi I am new to this so the abbreviation side of it is not happening.
Anyway I have just found out I am pregnant with number 3, having finally, after many months of saying "shall we shan't we", deciding to stick at two.
Obviously this has been a bit of a shock to the system and there have been lots of tears, basically because as of next September I would have been free until 3pm. Number one is 7 in April and number 2 is four at Christmas.
I am soooo scared I am not going to cope, I also don't want to start again as all my friends are now moving on with their lives. My husband does not share my fears, but they are getting bigger and bigger by the day.
Some sound advice needed urgently please.

iam really torn about whether to have a third, i would absolutely love another, hubby not so sure. keeps saying to me all the practical stuff like sleepless nights being outnumbered ect and i know hes right but my heart says something else. feel if i agree not to then i will regret it. is it really that hard to go from two to three?

piece of piddle

I have a ds 4.4,dd1 2.3 and dd2 14mths nearly 15mths

No seriously it isnt that bad even though dd2 is THE most demanding out of all 3. She is clingy and whiney but she is also a little character and a delight. People will tell you the third slots right in but that was not the case for us..she has fought her way to the top tooth and nail and she is only 14mth`s.We are debating no.4 so all in all it cant be that bad!!
Financially for us it isnt too much different we were skint we are skint..lol Weekly food shopping with nappies costs us about £60-70 a week which is a lot better than some people I know with 1.Holidays and stuff are hard financially but not unobtainable..this year we are doing 4 nights at butlins!We have also taken up camping to ensure we get some sort of break every year. Finding people willing to babysit is hard as 3 tends to put people off but am hoping as they get older it will become easier. It is chaotic but fun..never dull and just make sure they are all in bed by 8pm to keep your sanity.

I was one of three and absolutely loved it, still do.

I know life was hard for mum as a SAHM and finances were tight, but then she would have still been a SAHM with 2 of us, so finances would have always been tight. I never remember feeling like I went without anything and I was never aware how tight money was (only now as an adult chatting to my mum do I realise). Yes we had to get a bigger car, but that doesn't nec cost more than a smaller car. Yes, if we had gone on holiday in a hotel it would have cost more but as we always went self catering, it made no difference. And yes for the first 6 years of DC3's life we were still in a 3 bed house so we had to share a room for a while. So there were sacrifices and only you can decide if they are worth it.

BUT, there was always laughter, noise, mess, a little gang of friends and loads and loads of love, from our parents to each of us and between each other. I had such a happy childhood and feel extremely blessed.

Also, remember that your kids will grow and as an adult I love being 1 of 3. In fact my bro and sis are 2 of my best friends. My little bro (age 23) is actually currently living with me and DH! I live 2 mins walk from my sis flat as well. We all get together at least once a week. They are my support network and once I have my DCs they will be no end of help. They can't wait to be Aunty and Uncle and will be demanding to babysit! I adore both of them, and personality wise they are so different, I could not imagine only having one sibling to love!

And the cost of uni thing. Well yes uni is expensive but you do get a student loan so what parents need to contribute isnt too bad, particularly if you can work it so you only have 1 at uni at a time. And of course don't forget they may not all go to uni. Its not right for everyone, my sis never went (bro and I did), she trained through work instead and is doing very well for herself.

Now, I am not trying to say that everyone should have 3!! You must do what is right for you and your family. I do think, however, that there will always be a financial/practical reason not to have 1/2/3/4 etc dcs, so if it right for you, I think you will have to listen to your heart as your head may not agree! I also just want to say for the record how much I love being one of 3!