I'd really appreciate some advice. My DH and I have been together 5 years (married recently). When we first got together, he was very clear that he didn't want kids (aged 30). This is primarily due to him having had a v miserable childhood (his Mum died when he was 4, DFIL had a nervous breakdown and then married 'D'SM when he was 8, with whom he's never been close).
I - being truthful at the time and also 30 - said I was okay with the idea of not having children. I'd been single for 7 years and had thought I'd come to terms with it.
However, it has rumbled on as an underlying issue as I don't think I have ever really gotten over the idea deep down. Before we bought the house and long before we got married, I fessed up that I felt like we were making a huge mistake in not having a child. It's since become the topic of painful, tearful conversations... but he is now, very reluctantly, coming around to the idea.
I think his main concern is about losing my love and attention, being abandoned really, and that he'll feel resentful. I know him well enough (and indeed have seen him with my DSis' kids and those of many friends) to feel reassured he will make an absolutely fantastic Dad - probably better than I will make a Mum if I am honest with myself. He is much kinder and more tolerant than me!
How can I help him to be less fearful about this? If anyone else has been through this situation I would be really, really grateful for advice. My marriage is such a happy one in every other respect and we love each other very much - I just want us to try before it's too late (I'm now 35) and it feels like his anxiety will never abate to a point where we are ready to start TTC in earnest.