Did I get it all wrong.

[mimili]

Apologies, I've been snooping on posts for a while and have today really understood how some of you feel.
I don?t know all the acronyms yet so forgive me!

DH and I made the decision to TTC about two months ago. I POAS for the first time ever this morning. It was heartbreaking seeing DH?s face when it came up with a BFN. He whispered to me that he had really thought it had happened. The reason we felt like this was I have very sore breasts, I have been spotting since Sunday and my AF isn?t due until next Monday. I am aching and emotional as well. My normal pre AF symptoms are nothing like this. I usually get sore a day before and have never spotted. Hence we were convinced it would be a implantation bleed.

Or is it that we are looking for symptoms? Did we test too early ( I am inclined to say we might have) I know we can test again next week if AF doesn?t arrive.

I also know it is early days so perhaps I need to calm down a little.

Anyway, just felt sad today and wanted to say hello to all those in a similar place.

Chances are you are testing far too early - as an average cycle your AF is day 1 of your cycle, you ovulate on day 14, next AF arrives day 28, which then becomes day 1 of next cycle. With me so far? Ok, so if you got pregnant, it can take around a week to 10 days for the fertilised egg to implant - so that could be day 24 by the time it happens. You wouldn't start producing hcg until then, and it would have to get to a certain level before a test would show positive so generally first day of missed period is recommended. It could potentially only take 3 days for implantation, so that would be day 17 however this is unusual, and even then it wouldn't show positive for another few days.

Fingers crossed for it being your month, but if you or DH will be disappointed by BFN then definitely don't test until your AF is late :)

It is not correct to assume that ovulation occurs 14 days before the start of the next period. Ovulation is not an exact science and it can occur earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle. It is also quite possible to have periods without ovulating, even normally fertile women have the occasional anovulatory cycle. Also only around 12% of all women have a 28 day cycle.

Sore breasts can be pre menstrual symptoms but spotting if it keeps happening needs to be checked out by a GP. The cause is often not serious but spotting between periods should always be investigated.

You need to take the pressure off both of you; it could take up to a year to conceive. Make love as and when you both feel like it, two or three times a week throughout the month is fine.

Atilla & Rockchick, thank you for your advice. I have also realised I miscalculated my cycle (silly phone app) so I was definately premature in POAS!

So whilst my fingers are still crossed, I am feeling reassured and not too worried if things do no happen straight away.

I think we panicked because this was the first time we realised 'it could be' even though we are normally VERY rational and calculated!

Thanks again & see you around (the message boards) soon!

As I said Atilla based on an average cycle -I didn't say that these figures were correct for the OP, but without knowing when she ovulated or how long her cycle is then the only way to make my explanation is using averages. I'm sure if she knows her own cycle it's easy enough to apply these details in her specific case :)