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TTC after 2nd trimester loss due to Turners Syndrome

5 replies

willhope · 30/05/2013 16:30

I don't know what exactly I'm looking for here. I guess just a sympathetic ear. I'll try to be brief, you've probably heard it all before.

I am currently TTC and everyday I feel differently about it. One day I'm terrified and the next I can't wait to be pregnant. When I was 14 weeks I had my first ultra sound. Prior to that, I didn't really believe I was pregnant, well I did, but I wouldn't let myself get attached. I have suffered many dissapointments in my life and I was afraid something was going to happen to the baby, so in the first trimester held back my emotions. During the ultrasound I was SO EXCITED! My little baby was kicking and had a strong heartbeat, she was there inside me, she was real. So amazing to see, I was overwhelmed. Then a doctor came in and told us it didn't look good. She had hydrops. He was suprised that the baby was still alive. We did an amnio and at that time that doc agian told us how poor the prognosis was. The results came back positive for Turners. We decided to terminate at 16 weeks.

Now I am TTC my rainbow baby and all I keep thinking about is how I should be showing if I was still pregnant and I should be feeling my baby inside me. I feel robbed and I have no one around to really talk to. This was my 1st pregnancy. I am 25. I really wanted to have this baby, and so did my DH, but he is glad we will not have a special needs child and he is relieved that we found out and had the D&C.

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Phoenix007 · 30/05/2013 18:51

you have been through an awful lot so dont put to much pressure on yourself. i have had 2 early miscarriages - not as traumatic experience as yours though - and i have gone on to have 4 healthy children. so im sure it will work for you, you have to look forward to the future. good luck

mikkii · 30/05/2013 19:04

I'm sorry for your loss, because it is a loss. What you are doing is grieving. This is normal and right.

I was not in our position, but I think my experience is close enough that it may help you.

I had DS in 2004, no problems. I became pregnant again, realised on Christmas Eve and worked out baby would be 2 years 2 weeks younger than DS. I suffered lots of early bleeding and saw the early pregnancy unit, was scanned, no definitive answer, scanned again a week later and told all ok but my dates were wrong.

I never felt the same as I had with DS.

I went for 13 week scan to discover I had a missed miscarriage. As we have private insurance I chose to have an ERPC, they ran tests and told us that the baby had a trisomy disorder that was incompatible with life. This made my situation much easier to bear. It was Edwards syndrome.

We did not have to make your difficult decision to terminate as nature took that out of our hands, we had however already discussed what we would do as DH has a cousin with Downs.

After this I went on to have 2 healthy DDs and now have a family of 3 delightful children. What you have had to deal with is really hard, it is natural to think about anniversaries and due dates. I was lucky because I was pregnant with DD1 before my due date, and she was born soon after the anniversary of the dreadful scan.

I felt lucky that I already had DS so I knew my body could do this, you are still young (10 years younger than I was when I had DS).

Men tend not to discuss their feelings, but I have always been thankful that I had an early MC rather than a still birth or disabled child.

Things will get easier. As they say on MN this too will pass. Good luck.

willhope · 05/06/2013 19:27

Last night I was saying to DH that he should write some music because he hasn't in a while and it would be great to hear something. He responded with "Well I need some material, when you have a baby I'll have so much to draw from." I looked at him and said "the loss of a child doesn't provide anything?" He laughed and said "oh ya I forgot, guess I heal quickley." I couldn't believe it!

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richie13 · 07/06/2013 06:54

Hey Willhope, I can totally understand your pain!
I had to terminate my pregnancy at 14 wks as they said the child's brain wasnt developed and with a crying heart I had to give him up Sad

This happened last year June. We were adviced not to conceive for 4-5 months and help body to recover. Now we have been trying since January with no luck! Im devastated.....jst got my cycles today after a frantic trying! Well not giving up hope and gonna try this month with same vigor and see an OB. Hope both of us can sail thru the tough times and have a happy ever after moment!

willhope · 14/06/2013 12:27

i'm so sorry to hear that richie. I am hoping we concieve before any big anniversary dates and due dates. I missed my period by a couple days this month. (My 2nd cylce since the D&C) So I was cautiously optomistic, and took a test. It came back positive! I was excited but decided to keep it to myself for a little bit. This has turned out to be a good decision as I got my period last night. Yay chemical pregnacy. Mother Nature must really feel like messin with me. Just feel a little defeated this morning...

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