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Conception

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Original poster

Gap Between Children

36 replies

gapsize · 21/05/2006 09:25

Does anyone have a large gap between their children? (over 3 and a half years) and how does it work?
Just wondering if it is worth it or not. Would dearly love another child but worried that even if we try now and it happens straight away no problems etc there would be nearly four years, and I am a bit concerned they would have nothing in common and it would actually be harder on DD rather than more fun for her.
Can anyone give their feelings either way...

OP posts:

3catstoo · 22/05/2006 12:19

I don't think there is aright or wrong gap. I like small gaps but it's what I know. A friend of mine had a 4 yr gap and it was perfect but is now about to have a 3 year gap (not planned) and thinks it will be too close.
Each to their own. I'm sure they'll all have battles at some point no matter how big the gap is.

Go for it !!

hulababy · 22/05/2006 12:22

There is just 16 months between me and my brother, and 9 years between me and my sister. I am the eldest. When little me and my brother were good company for each other, but once mid way through school we got our own friends and didn't really play together much, other than on holidays, etc. In many ways my sister was brought up more like an older child and me and my brother were so much older and not really playmates for her. But again she had her own friends omnnce at school, and was spoilt not only by mum and dad but also by two older siblings. Now we are older we all get on pretty well, see each other on avergae once a month or so and care loads for each other.

Tinker · 22/05/2006 12:26

Think it all comes down to the individual personalities in teh end. 18 month gap between siblings, 3.5 year gap youngest sibling and me - used to get on with teh one closest in age, now get on with teh eldest. 8 year gap between my 2 (different dads) all working out well except think gap may be too big for room sharing. You make whatever you have work as well as you can really.

NatalieJane · 22/05/2006 12:27

I have four sisters and the one I get on best with out of all of them is the one who is nearly 10 years older than me!

I have a 4 year old DS and when the next one is born (all being well!) he will be 4.8 I think he will love being able to 'help' me bath and change the baby, and when the baby is a bit older playing with the baby.

It does also help that you can explain things to him because he is that bit older, the other day we were talking about the baby, and I said I will be the babies mummy as well as his, and he didn't like the sound of that, until I explained that I would still be his mum, and nothing will change that etc. if he had have been younger I wonder how much he would have worried about the baby 'taking' his mummy?

I suppose there are just as many pro's and con's with having children closer together, but I wouldn't let an age gap put me off number 3 (all in good time though!!)

hulababy · 22/05/2006 12:28

Tinker - room sharing was the one think I really didn't like when growing up. Having to share a bedroom with a sister 9 years younger was not great. There was no way round it, but I definitely didn't like it.

Tinker · 22/05/2006 12:30

No hulababy, agree. Oldest wants sleepovers. Not conducive to having a baby who still wakes in the night!

Psychobabble · 22/05/2006 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummydoc · 22/05/2006 13:28

I have 5 yrs between my 2 DDs, it is fab - they are very funny together, I make sure every month or so i do something with older dd such as trip to cinema and leave the toddler with DH or granny . She loves "big girl" time and helps with the fact toddler gets to stay home with mummy while she has to go to boring old school!

southeastastra · 22/05/2006 13:43

There are 7 years between my sons (youngest is 4). I waited because I couldn't afford it sooner! They fight, but then they get on, just like any other family. My older son (12) is really helpful with looking after his little bro.

Sugarbug · 06/06/2008 22:18

Well, I am not sure but I think I may have the biggest GAP of all. Our son's are 22yrs and 7yrs old. I had my first as a single mom at the age of 20 and then my second after marriage (new man) at the age of 35. We tried to have had a child earlier but only by about 5 years so there was still a large gap.

Your question I believe was is it worth it or do they have so little in common that it's no fun. It's so worth it. Yes, they will have their differences but they will still have a lot of fun.

Sometimes it's like having two, only childs because the oldest one is off working in the Navy and the youngest is home but we are going on a two week vacation for the first time this summer as a family.

lollykh · 19/06/2008 16:39

hi, i'm new here. not even sure this sight is active anymore. i have a ds of 14 years and am starting to crave another little one. reading all your messeges was certainly encouraging as what i fear the most is the huge age gap. i've talked to him and he strongly disagrees with the decision; he is very social, has great friends and loves his life as it is. my husband isn't crazy about the idea either. he says it's a long long road and now that we can do anything we want whenever we want together, why make things hard and complicated? i don't know, but i do know that we have to make up our minds soon because i'm forty an the clock is ticking.

any ideas anyone?

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