Hi all
Am new here- been lurking for a while but worried about ttc.
I am 28 and was never interested in kids- until I was if you see what I mean! Since about this time last year I have been desperate to get pregnant but it wasn't the right time with work etc. However after getting a permanent contract in January DH and I discussed it and decided to go for it and try. He is 25.
I had my mirena coil out in early February and have been lucky that my periods have returned more or less to normal. Regular 31 day cycles from the get-go. But for some reason I can't get it out of my head that I am infertile and I have now just got AF for the third time since ttc.
Despite having regular cycles though I am very worried about the "second phase" of my cycle as my period seems to begin on dpo 10 0r 11 with brown spotting which goes on until around dpo 15 or 16 and then becomes a proper period. I worry that this is an indication of something bad.
I can't shake this nagging feeling that I'm not ovulating. I have had ovarian scans in the past which indicated some polycysticness but never confirmed with blood tests etc. The most recent scan in early April this year showed totally normal ovaries with no polycysticness at all and a normal uterus. However I don't seem to be able to get a positive on an ovulation test. I haven't been doing it religiously (am going to start this month) but I do seem to have signs of ovulation (such as EWCM and increased sex drive at around the right time).I think my major worries about this stem from a doctor I saw when I was 20/21 who said that with the look of my ovaries I would never have a baby naturally. This has since seemed not to be the case but his words are constantly ringing in my ears.
On top of this worry my DH is finding it hard to "perform" as much as is needed so we have been alternating sex with him depositing (ahem) his goods and me using a medicine syringe to get it up there but I am concerned that's a waste of time. That said he has been getting so upset about his performance anxiety that I don't want to stress him out. We are using Concieve+ lube too and I am mixing that with his semen when I inject.
I am also taking supplements like Smarties at the moment and am starting to worry I can't see the wood for the trees. I am taking:
-Agnus Castus
-Black Kosch
-Evening Primrose Oil
-Raspberry Leaf
-Green Tea Extract
-Vitamin B/B12
-Vitamin D
-Pregnacare Prenatal
But I am largely taking them because at various times I have read these things might help without knowing really if they are or if they are doing more harm than good.
To cap it all off everyone around me seems to be falling pregnant and I am feeling increasingly fed up.
I know it's a bad idea to stress about pregnancy and I know it's early doors but I wish there was a way of controlling this. I am a career-driven, controlly kind of a girl and I have always had a plan in life.
Any kind words, advice or just words of wisdom would be so welcome. I feel really lonely as DH just tells me to be patient and none of my friends get this as they're either sprogged up or still not interested in babies.
I have made an appointment with my GP to discuss this next Tuesday but I feel embarrassed even starting with all of my anxieties.
Thanks if you have got this far.