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Conception

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DH can't decide if he wants to ttc#3 or not - emotions

6 replies

Tranquilitybaby · 22/03/2013 11:12

DH and I have talked and talked for a couple of years now about ttc#3 and we still haven't come to a decision.

I'm pretty much 99% sure I want to go for it, but he's more 50/50. We talked about 6 weeks ago and he said he knows how strongly I feel and in some ways he's broody too but on the other hand he's totally with our two lovely children, dd, 11 and ds, 8, so he's not totally sure he wants to start again now life is pretty easy.

He's worried about being an older dad (ge'll be 40 next year), we had ours at a young age so we could do everything they wanted to growing up without feeling too old.

When we talk, I can't help but feel his comments sound more negative than positive and I'm worried he's just afraid of upsetting me by being honest. He assures me that's not the case though.

He did say if anything happened unplanned, of course he'd be pleased, so my head all over the place at the moment.

Just don't know where we go from here really. Any advice? Just needed to write it down I guess. I just need to know where we're going really. In limbo at the moment.

Thanks x

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IrnBruTheNoo · 22/03/2013 11:47

"I can't help but feel his comments sound more negative than positive "

He's being a realist. He's looking at how good your life could be as it is rather than adding more complications in your life. Men tend to think more logically about these situations than women do as they don't have hormones as the driving factor behind it all the same way that women do.

IrnBruTheNoo · 22/03/2013 11:48

You could always agree on setting a time limit to trying and if nothing happens, then stick with the two DC you've got.

Tranquilitybaby · 22/03/2013 12:01

Thanks IrnBruTheNoo you're right about the emotions - women are fin Venus and all that!

We're not exactly safe anyway, sometimes condoms, sometimes withdrawal so I guess he can't be that against it. Or he's just being a man again lol x

OP posts:
Tranquilitybaby · 22/03/2013 12:01

From not fin!

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AThingInYourLife · 22/03/2013 12:12

I can totally see why he's indecisive -

On the one hand - lovely little baby

On the other - moving on with life with your two (quite big now) kids

I can also see why the indecision is driving you bonkers.

Could you put a time limit on it?

Say, if we haven't decided 100% to go for it by June let's just accept it's not happening?

Tranquilitybaby · 22/03/2013 23:27

Yes I can too, I totally understand, well I'm trying my absolute best to. We've chatted tonight and discussed pros and cons so it's a step forward x

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