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Conception

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Original poster

Friend TTC

6 replies

CarmenH · 30/04/2006 19:13

I'm 32 weeks preg now and have a friend who I know has been TTC since about May 05. I see her quite often and chat about loads of stuff including my pregnancy but I feel really awkward about knowing that she is TTC. I don't feel like I can ask "so how's it going?" but I feel equally awkward not mentioning it. I just wondered how others who are TTC feel? Incidentally we were very lucky and I got preg on 2nd cycle of trying and my TTC friend knows this.

OP posts:
spinach · 30/04/2006 19:16

if i were your friend, i wouldnt mind you asking me about it. Ask her if shes still trying, if she is, reassure her, I'd personally be grateful for someone to talk to about it.

bobblehead · 30/04/2006 19:31

If you're close she won't mind at all, but when I was trying and had conceived (like you after a couple of months) I hated people asking "are you going to have kids soon" (we told them after we were married so they must have known we were trying) meaning "are you pregnant yet?"! It was awkward as I didn't want to tell anyone for the first 12 weeks but felt funny lying when I knew I was pregnant,

Amanda01 · 01/05/2006 13:31

Its a tricky one, only you know what kinda person your friend is Wink I've been ttc for a few months, and i have a friend who is pregnant ... some days i feel really excited for her, and want to hear everything ... other days i feel really sad & struggle to listen to her, if that makes sense?

My advice would be to take the lead from her ... if she mentions the ttc, go with it ... if she doesn't wanna talk, don't push it?

I hope that helps!!:)

wannaBe1974 · 01/05/2006 13:47

think this can be tricky, although imo if people don't want others to ask they generally won't tell you they're ttc. We've been ttc now since May of last year without success. None of my friends/family know that we're ttc, because I know that they'll ask every month whether we're pg yet. Equally when we were ttc for ds it took 13 months and no-one knew, so it was a lovely surprise for everyone when we told them we were pg, and they were genuinely shocked when we told them it had taken over a year.

Go with your instincts, ask your friend how it's going, but ask her if she minds you talking about it as you realize it's taking a while.

hth

BeckiF · 01/05/2006 14:33

We've been TTC for years, and I've been amazed how life long friends have felt awkawrd about talking about their pregnancies as they know we need assistance. As I've always said to them, "Just because we have yet to be blessed, it doesn't mean we share any less in the joy of your pregnancy". SO I echo the other ladies, ask her if she's comfortable with you wanting to share the pregnancy with her, and I'm sure you'll find she is.

Original poster
CarmenH · 01/05/2006 15:38

Thankyou for your all of your comments. Next time that I see her without other people about I will ask how things are going for her. I suppose a bit of me feels sad because when she started TTC I knew that we would be TTC soon after and I imagined that we would be preg ataround the same time and be able to share the experience a bit but unfortunately that's not how it has worked out. I hope that all of you ladies have some positive news soon :).

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