Ha! "Just relax" is proved to be complete and utter BOLLOCKS!

[MrsTittleMouse]

How did I not find this before?

The official scientific paper is here (it's actually loads of individual studies pulled together to get the definitive result) -
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21345903

So now as well as being insensitive and fucking annoying, it's now also proved to be complete nonsense, and we can officially tell anyone who comes out with this bollocks to bugger off.

Oh yes. Trying to console me after we lost the baby we'd spent 18 months trying to concieve, my uncle said "at least you get to carry on having fun while you try." What the actual fuck? If I wasn't that I'd have cried if I'd have opened my mouth, I'd have told him to fuck off. And it was across the table at a wedding.

I am willing to pay good money to anyone who can make a lovely, shiny, flashing "Fuck Off" badge

Oooh. Just thought. Can it squirt dirty water in their faces too?

Apparently I am trying too hard too. I think a badge with really small writing on it saying "f**k off" would be brilliant then I could tell all the 50/60 somethings who have adult children and grandchildren that they are trying too hard to read it

I've been trying to tell people for months that the stress of ttc doesn't affect women's ability to conceive and yet they STILL insist that it does because 'my friend was trying for over a year and then she went on holiday and got pregnant'.

Also hate the people that hear you've been trying for a while and suggest something really obvious as though they're the first ones to ever think of it eg. have you tried opks? No, I'm desperate to get pregnant and have spent months of stress trying but it never crossed my mind to use one of the most successful and heavily advertised aids in ttc. Grrr...

No, no, no, you don't understand - their anecdote about their mate who went on holiday and got pissed completely trumps carefully analysed scientific data about thousands of women.

I don't get why this hasn't been more widely publicised. The study was ages ago - why wasn't the BBC all over this? Why didn't I know before? It's bad enough going through infertility, without the massive guilt and blame of feeling that you're partly to blame for not "relaxing".

I even told someone that a fertility doctor had said stress didn't make a difference (saw it on a tv programme, the baby makers thing), he gave the example of in caveman times, obviously DTD wouldn't be a relaxed experience while wild animals might be round the corner.
The person I was speaking to (who had told me to throw away all my charts and monitors and just relax) said that was ridiculous and we've evolved a lot since then and obviously stress was going to be a huge factor.
And this was from a professional hypnotherapist who treats people for infertility.....

How can you relax when you trying to do it at the right time, the right frequency, in the correct position, with the right lube, taking the right vitamins, whilst eating the right things and not drinking!!!

This is my first post and well you made my day and made me smile!! if i hear it will happen soon! just relax again i will scream!!
P.s can i have a card please!!

This is hilarious! So glad to see this evidence. Proper evidence! Not some anecdotal bollox. It's so patronising.

I feel more 'relaxed' already LOL! ;-)

Phew! Now I can worry and stress away to my heart's content without having to worry about worrying too!

madonna I think you've summed it up perfectly!

Anyone else see This Morning this morning? The doctor from Embarrassing Bodies was there talking about fertility and brought up "stress" as a major factor for not conceiving - "everyone knows about the couple who stress and stress and then give up trying and suddenly she's pregnant" (or words to that effect). I feel like writing to her to let her know how out of date she is!

DO IT!

Brilliant stuff

Definitely write and complain to This Morning! Send them a link to this thread - it's deeply upsetting as well as inaccurate...