Anyone else fed up with congratulating friends on their pregnancies when you're dying inside because you want it to be you?

[Katnisscupcake]

It's happened to me twice in two days, just as af turned up again. I'm actually struggling now to show pleasure at their news and I'm starting to avoid people when I know they're trying.

They're mostly all younger than me (I'm 39 in June) and I just don't think it's ever going to happen... I'm heartbroken...

All. The. Time.

Especially the ones that know I've had two mcs. It almost feels like a betrayal, like they're being cruel on purpose, although obviously, logically, I know that's complete rubbish.

A few years ago, a month or so after my second miscarriage, I was driving back from the supermarket. I passed my ex DPs wife, who was pregnant at the time. She was going in t work late and I knew it was because of morning sickness. I had to pull over at the side of the road because I was crying so hard

Katniss sending you a hug (I know is it not MN, but I don't care!). If it is a tiny crumb of comfort, my DS did not have her first child until she was 40. x.

Sorry, I realise that's not very supportive!

I don't want to say things like "I'm sure it will happen soon" because I know they don't help. Have an unMN hug instead

Thanks ladies (all hugs welcome Chottie). I should have said that I do have a 3 year old dd... I had one MC before her and then one last summer.

It's funny, when I was pg with dd I often thought that trying for dc2 wouldn't be as hard because at least we would already have dc1, but actually it is as hard because it's still something that you want so badly.

I love mn because I can say things on here that you wouldn't say in rl. Like "actually I'm sure it's lovely that you're pg, but I don't actually want to hear about it!!!"

But I know that in their position I would be very conscious of not assuming people's individual situation...

How many times can I put actually in one post...

Thank you for the flowers and the hug TwllBach.

We've struggled with conception, dd1 was through ivf, second pregnancy ended in m/c & 2 further ivf cycles failed. We gave up & accepted our fate of a one child family. Started focussing on our health (gym), having fun (dates) & what do ya know, we ended up pregnant naturally in no time at all (currently 39 yrs, 23 weeks pregnant). The moral of the story is.....what helped me deal with other people's pregnancies during my tough years ttc was the mantra "it's our child I want, not theirs" and secondly, I'm living proof that the more you relax & put the agony of conceiving out of your mind (not easy I know, enough people told me over the yrs!), the more likely it is to happen. Good luck, try and relax & stay positive!

That's a lovely story dragon and congratulations on your pg, I really mean it too!

Unfortunately as much as I'd love to relax about the whole ttc thing, I suffer with horrific skin which effects me emotionally so when I'm not ttc I have to go back on the pill so an unexpected surprise won't happen for us ...

Ah bless you, my SIL has something similar (skin problems affected by stress and impacts on ttc), try and get yourself to a good place again soon. It's rubbish when you're suffering. They didn't write about these troubles in the fairytale, did they?!!! Big hug. X

Dragon, you are soooo right!