TTC Second Time Not Any Easier

[Tinyflutterby]

Hi, I'm new to this but thought it might help me if there's anyone in the same boat. I have an 18 month old little boy already, but it took us two agonising years to conceive due to my irregular cycle (always has been) and had to have loads of tests.

We are so grateful we have our son but would love a little sister or brother for him, but I am terrified of going through the same agonising looking for signs, trying and waiting every cycle again as it almost cost us our marriage first time round. We have been trying now for the last 3 cycles and I know its early days but I am 36 and aware that time is running out.

The clinic have said I have a retroverted uterus but I don't know if this is the problem or not. My cycles are anything from 32 - 48 days and I do appear to ovulate although this can be anywhere from 16 - 26 days. We were just about to have IUI when I found out I was pregnant first time, but I don't want to go to the doctor or anything again as I feel people look at me and say well you already have one and should be happy with that. I am, but I still get jealous when someone else announces they're pregnant, particularly if its an 'accident'.

Hello there!

I'd go to the doctor. You may or may not get any help, but at least then you'll know what help's available, and you'll know if the retroverted uterus is a concern or a coincidence.

Good luck!

Thanks for that. I did actually ask my GP about the uterus thing at the time and she said it shouldn't make a difference. I looked it up online and it was very 50/50 - some said it was a factor and some said it wasn't. They described it as being similar to left-handedness, as in a certain percentage of the population just have it. Maybe I should just stop obsessing about it.

Hello Tiny you are most certainly not alone. There are lots of posters on this board who are finding the road to their second child a long and rocky one.

You are very welcome on the ttc#2 thread - it's called "ttc#2 How exciting!" but actually there are women on there who know from personal experience that "exciting" isn't the word.

With regards to your uterus, I would second seeing a doctor to reassure you. If it helps, mine is both retroverted and prolapsed, and my doctor has given me the all-clear in terms of ttc (and I did manage to conceive twice last year).

Please don't let the fact you already have one child stop you seeking help or support if you need it. Of course you feel blessed beyond measure to have a child at all, but the longing for a second is a separate thing. It doesn't make you greedy or ungrateful.

Sorry x-posted. I see you have spoken to your GP. I am in the camp that it makes no difference.

Your womb may have been tilted that way before you even had your DS. Often women only find out at smear tests etc if a nurse happens to mention it, and often health professionals even don't comment on it because it is so commonplace.

Many women actually have a retroverted uterus; it has no effect whatsoever on ttc.

What does affect ttc to its detriment though is irregular cycles; was the cause of this ever determined?. That is what really has to be looked at now and properly (two common causes of such are thyroid problems, another is a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome. As your cycle has always been irregular historically I would think PCO is to blame).

Please go to the GP, this really needs and warrants further investigation.

Thanks so much everyone. My cycles have been irregular since they began so it's classed as 'normal for me' and I don't worry about it too much as I do seem to ovulate, it is however, a pain as its harder to track and as they're so long I have to wait ages for the next opportunity to try.

They ruled out PCOS and thyroid problems last time, but I will get my thyriod checked again as thyroid problems run in my family.