sick of bfn's :'(

[lyndsey90]

Af due tomorrow, tested today. Very clear bfn.

Came down with my first cold this winter yesterday, headache, sore throat, tired, coughing the lot.

I've got upper leg cramps and I wanna cry!!

Not a happy bunny.

Afternoon lyndsey I'm so sorry to hear you are having a rotten time. A stinking cold plus a disappointing BFN is enough to get anyone feeling tearful.

Take good care of yourself; lots of rest, warm drinks, paracetamol etc and allow yourself to have a little wallow today.

Then, it's chin-up and positive thinking! Another cycle means another opportunity...

Bridget thanks.
I'm having a hard day of it, been working and my OH has his daughter. I basically get ignored till she's in bed. Then he.kt give me his time. But at the same time, he wants me in the same room as them so he's near me. Can't win. Can't even sit on same sofa as him. She's my weekend replacement.

lyndsey I know from your posts on the Feb bus (I'm a fellow passenger ) that things are a bit challenging with your OH's daughter at the moment.

Hopefully things will get easier once the upheaval of having a new sibling at home settles down? Nearly 6 years old is still quite little and vulnerable really.

My DP works horrendous hours (coupled with a reasonable commute) so Mini Bridget (6 yrs) often barely sees her Dad during the week. At the weekend she clings to him like a limpet - poor chap can barely wee in piece - and I am very often the spare part. I wonder if your DSD is doing the same; just try to make up for lost time at the weekend?

I do think your DP is being a bit unreasonable to expect you to stay in the same room simply to be ignored though. Could you have a chat with him and try and come up with a plan for the weekends whereby your DP and his little girl do some stuff just the two of them (a trip to the park, cinema etc) and then you spend some time doing stuff as a group of three (like playing a board game, where you all have a turn).

Could you always have something a bit special planned for just the two of you on Sunday night (like a nice meal)? A chance to re-connect as a couple if the weekends are tough?

Is there anyway of shaking the feeling you are being replaced and focusing instead on her being your future child's sibling? Part of the family your gorgeous much longed for baby will one day be welcomed into?

(Disclaimer: I have never been in the tricky position of having to navigate relationships with step-children so please forgive me if all the above is bollocks!)

Nah, it sounds reasonable.

I just feel like I might have gotten in above my head getting involved with a divorcee with a child.

Hate af being due, seriously throws my emotions. Feel like curling up in a ball!

Sorry to be over baring!!

I always wanted a child with a guy who has no baggage and to marry someone who hasn't done it all before. It puts me off everything couples do because he's been there. Done that. Got the wedding photos and daughter to prove it.

I need to chill out lol!

Before bloody AF puts in an appearance is definitely an emotional roller-coaster.

I think it is perfectly reasonable (and very sensible) to wonder if this is what you want..there is no getting past the fact life will always be more complicated than if your DP had met you first.

However, maybe everything your DP has been through (his first marriage, becoming a father, the heart-break of a marriage breakdown) is what's made him the man you love today?

It sounds like you could do with some reassurance from your DP that everything he does with you will be, at least, equally special simply because it is the first time he has done them with you.

Can you share how you are feeling with DP? Perhaps he doesn't realise you need a little extra cherishing at the moment? I know Mr Hairy doesn't appreciate how emotionally draining ttc can be and how it can make you question everything.

He does know how I feel. I think sometimes he just thinks I'm being slightly selfish and thinks I should just deal with the hand I'm dealt and get on with it.

His daughter is just sat slumped at his computer whilst he is out sorting washing (our washer dryer is in outhouse - no we're not mad and using washing line in this weather lol) and I asked what was up with her, she just looked at me and ignored me.

How am I supposed to just get on with it when she blatantly wants nothing to do with me :(