OPK confusion - long cycle

[ILoveMyCats]

Hello! I'm new to posting and to ttc. I've been using clear blue digital opk for 3 cycles now since coming off the pill. Cycle has been 43 days each time with the smiley face on day 21 or thereabouts. Have dtd either on smiley day or the day after, as suggested by clearblue, but not pg yet. It's cd 25 of third cycle of using clear blue.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is it worth dtd on both days, and/or days leaving up to cd 21? I think we may not be getting the timing right despite the tests. Have been charting my cycle using online calculator that puts ovulation 10 days after smiley. Which do I believe? Dtd every other day isn't always achievable and I don't want to get obsessive at this relatively early stage in the game..... But I'll be 32 in April and don't want to waste too many months, especially as my cycle is longer than normal, thereby reducing the number of chances I have.
I'd appreciate any input. Thanks & best wishes to you all x

Hi ILoveMyCats - I understand that even if you are both fine and healthy and DTD on the right days there is only about a 20-25% chance of getting pg in any one cycle. I learnt that on here and from a fertility book I bought. There are lots of variables at play, such as the need for the egg to be healthy and for all the correct homrones to be in place. Even a slight imbalance can cause problems for that cycle, but it doesn't mean that will happen every cycle and that there is anything wrong with you. Sometimes everything just needs to be right for it to happen. Sounds like some hippy crap doesn't it? But it's true.

As healthy sperm can survive for up to 5 days, it doesn't matter if you don't DTD at exactly the moment you ovulate. (Sorry if you knew this already, but I think your post uggests you didn't. I am quite tired here though, so sorry if I've misread.) The sperm from a even a couple of days before you ovulate could potentially get you pregnant as they live inside you (for a bit) and are kept alive by your cervical mucus. This is of course, all in theory. I know lots of people on here DTD a day or two before ovulation, when they get their smiley and then a day or two afterwards to be sure for fun

As for the difference between OPKS and online calculator, I personally would go with the OPKs as they are responding to your hormones, not an algorithm or educated guess. (OPKs are not foolproof either though, but I won't go into that here as I don't want to make you worry unnescessarily.)

I think you just need to carry on DTD as often as you can if you can't manage every other day and I would carry on past ovulation if you can muster the energy, just to make sure. Just try to basically have lots and lots of sex!

Hope it goes well for you.

Sorry for my spelling - very tired!

Also, sorry if the first bit depresses you. I didn't mean to and that doesn't mean it won't happen. Women get pregnant every day, so don't worry. You onlu need to see your GP if nothing happens after a year. Good luck!

Gah - *only!

Thank you bearface, it feels like a bit of a minefield at times. Not lest because I'm trying so hard not to get anxious - the infamous "just relax". My parents took 8 years and 5 m/c to have me, so I do wonder if I could have inherited some fertility issues, but will keep going for a year, like you say.

And, yes, will try to have lots of sex and some of it for fun too!! Good luck to you too

I would not be using OPKS at all if you have a consistent 43 day cycle.

Such kits are beset with problems anyway; these assume that there is only one rise in LH every month and that such a rise is immediately followed by ovulation. Both are not true.

Do not go down the route of timed intercourse; that is also beset with problems and can make the man feel used. Have sex when you both feel like it, not only when you think its ovulation time (which is damn nigh impossible to work out even when the cycle is regular).

I would be looking to have a chat now with your GP with a view to having blood tests done instead as this will give a more accurate picture of what your hormone levels are like. Long cycles like this can be problematic with regards to ovulation. It is also quite possible to have periods without ovulating. A "normal" cycle is a cycle length of betrween 21 and 35 days or with less than 4 days of variation from month to month.

Hi, not sure if it will help but I read a post on another site from a natural fertility expert on how to tell when you are fertile. It was quite interesting and explained the bodies signs that lead to a fertile time. It amy be worth a read, she also says that if anyone has specifi c questions that she is happy to try and answer them. May be worth a try?!! Hope this helps, the link to the post is forum.prideangel.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=537 Good luck, keep smiling!xx