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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Withdrawl method-Chances of getting pregnant

18 replies

mumoftwoboysS · 02/01/2013 14:05

I'm not actively TTC but was wondering what the chances of getting pregnant using the withdrawl method are. I am really broody (already have 2dc's) but hubby is pretty adamant that he doesn't want any more children. I am just hoping that perhaps there's still a chance...(until I resort to trying to persuade OH)

I could never trap him by, for eg. 'forgetting' to take the pill or something though I must admit the thought it sooo tempting...but I'd always live with that betrayal

Guess I'll just have to hope for a happy accident! (I know that if I did accidentally get pregnant that he would welcome the baby 100% and be happy, I think he just worries about stretching things too far financially etc)

any advice/info greatly appreciate!

OP posts:

RedRobin1 · 02/01/2013 22:03

Two of my mates this year got 'accidentally' pregnant on the withdrawal method. One of them had sex just once and the other just twice that month - not something you'd want to hear after 9 months of ttc but anyway there's always chances on the withdrawal method. Just takes one.

flowersfortea · 02/01/2013 22:11

the withdrawal method has a failure rate of 30% ie if a hundred women used this as sole method of contraception for a year, 30 will become pregnant. might work in your favour.... good luck!

MurderOfProse · 03/01/2013 00:11

Done correctly and following certain rules it's allegedly as reliable as using a condom. But I'm willing to bet your DH hasn't done the research on it and knows what those rules are..

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 03/01/2013 00:49

It worked for us for years. DP is a master of control...

lisad123everybodydancenow · 03/01/2013 01:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BacardiNCoke · 03/01/2013 01:18

DH and I used this method for a short while...the result is now 6 and asleep upstairs.

He's a vasectomy now.

BacardiNCoke · 03/01/2013 01:18

*had a

Original poster

mumoftwoboysS · 03/01/2013 08:57

Thanks for your responses! So there is a chance by the sounds of it...

I think I need to work on him anyway, see if I can persuade him rather than hoping for an accident! I kind of need to wait 6 months before said accident anyway (waiting to see if I've got a job and also want 2nd child to be in pre-school before coping with a new baby)

here's hoping the odds are with us tho I bet I won't be one of the 30%.....

OP posts:

Rockchick1984 · 03/01/2013 10:06

Why not just tell him you want another baby, and if he says no then tell him he's to take responsibility for contraception? Much more honest, and then he can't 'blame' you (for want of a better word) if you fall pregnant? :)

HavingALittleFaithBaby · 03/01/2013 15:40

If he's adamant he doesn't want any more kids, he needs a more reliable method than withdrawal! It can be effective if done correctly but that's easier said than done! One of my favourites jokes: What do you call people who use the withdrawal method? Parents!

So yes, the two of you need to sit down and talk about what you really want. Either you use contraception or you TTC but I have an awful feeling that if you 'accidentally' got pregnant now, he would blame you and it wouldn't be a happy occurrence :(

MrsTwinks · 04/01/2013 16:35

I like it as a contraceptive measure, without it I wouldn't be here.

Think you need to talk and use something else tbh.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 04/01/2013 22:35

Rockchic, I did that with DP. He picked withdrawal as his method of choice! apparently, if it happens it happens, but he doesn't want to actively try! dickhead

Original poster

mumoftwoboysS · 07/01/2013 08:47

I think my OH realises the risks- otherwise he'd be much more adamant about using contraception. Last night he didn't withdraw though it was the last day of my period/day after so likelihood of conceiving is pretty low I think.

I think I need to just persuade him a little more....:-) If we did accidentally get pregnant now he'd take joint responsibility - in fact he's more likely to blame himself than me.

I don't want to use something else as I really want another baby, so if he insists then we need to talk about it seriously. Thanks for your help/opinions!

OP posts:

woose · 09/01/2013 21:55

Hi Mumoftwoboys

I am in a similar situation to you, or I was until quite recently, and now I don't know what on earth to do. Here is the story.

I want another baby, which would be dc3. My DH is adamant that he does not want another. We were sort of being uncareful last year and then in October/November I did get pregnant. I was so so scared of telling him because I knew he wouldn't be pleased. Anyway after about a week I plucked up enough courage. He was ok initially, and supportive, then after a week he started saying it was the worst thing that had happened to us. As time went on a really wanted the baby, and became excited. Then I had a MC!! This was just before Christmas.

So now I am left really wanting a 3rd babe and he really does not want one. I has said he is relieved. We have DTD a couple of times and then he has used contraception I have been gutted and felt really angry towards him. I don't know what to do now. Any advice anyone?

Rockchick1984 · 09/01/2013 22:10

Hi Woose you may have more answers if you start your own thread, possibly in relationships topic rather than conception. My own opinion is that you are going to have to accept that you won't have another baby with your DH, I think if you imagine the roles reversed it would be a million times worse if he tried to force you to have another baby if you were certain you didn't want one than not having one, especially if you already have children. I honestly think you need to focus on your babies and accept that there will be no more of them. as I know this will have sounded harsh but please know I'm not trying to say it to be mean!!

woose · 09/01/2013 22:27

Yes that is hard to hear but I understand what you are saying (wiping the tears). Thankyou for your response Rockchick. It feels harsh that I will need to be the one that will have a life long regret. I know I am very very lucky to have my two children. I guess it is probably harder because I am getting older and don't have many fertile years yet. I am also feeling quite sad after the MC . I will start a new thread in relationships as you suggest.

Original poster

mumoftwoboysS · 10/01/2013 17:47

Hi Woose I'm so sorry to hear of your MC. strangely I actually have thought of that very situation (despite not being pregnant yet) so I really do feel for you. What Rockchick says is very sensible and probably true but I know I'm not very rational when it comes to my kids and wanting babies so it's very hard to see the whole situation rationally (and convince yourself you can persuade OH no matter how much he resists!)

I'm worried OH may resent me if I did accidentally get pregnant or even worse, if things went wrong, blame me as he didn't want another in the first place.

I'm so sorry you feel there is no hope, but there is something to be said for reminding yourself how lucky you are to have two beautiful healthy kids and try and focus on the future with them. (god I wish I could convince myself this! Until hubby is ABSOLUTELY 100% against another though, I'm going to try to bring him round first.

all the best xx

OP posts:

OnlyWantsOne · 10/01/2013 17:55

I really think that both parties have to be fully on board with the concept of having another child or there could always be potential for blame / resentment etc which around a child or making decisions for said child is unhelpful and potentially harmful.

DP wants another child "At some point" (we have 3) but I don think I want any more. It is a decision we will have to deal with in the future and as my scenario is the reverse of yours OP I shou probably say I would be really really REALLY resentful if I got "caught out" accidentally / on purpose by my partner (if that was possible IYKWIM)

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