The right time???

[crazycatlady82]

Hi all,

Is there ever a right time?

My husband and I are certain we want children but we have only been together 4 years in total. 3 married.

I have had problems over the past 2 years with anxiety and depression so continue to take medication (fluoxetine 40mg).

I also have a history of anorexia and bulemia and I am fighting it but not fully 'cured' if anyone can be cured?!?!

Anyway, now being 30 I want to have children but I really don't know how long to wait. Is now the right time? Will I ever get fully better? Will the thought of becoming pregnant give me the push I need to be 'normal'?

I am both confused but I am still quite relaxed about it all.

Any/all thoughts would be nice

Thanks

Xx

Hellooo... Well I left ExH October 2007, moved in with DH January 2008, engaged September 2009, married May 2010 and DS was born March 2011... So I'm not one for hanging around, if you are happy and have a good relationship and friendship, then go for it. Re: the eating disorders, I have PCOS and weighed 18 stone when I was 19, then I was put on the pill and Metformin and slimmed down to around 11 stone when I was 20, and managed to more or less maintain that for 10 years. Whilst pregnant, I went up to nearly 16 stone, and have now lost 2 of that (WW). Due to my angst about my weight, I found it very hard at first when I was putting on weight, but it was due to my PCOS, and coming off the low-carb diet I'd been on for 2 years. Having my son helped me to reevaluate things and see that yes, I needed to lose the weight to be healthy, but even now at 14 stone, I am much happier with myself than I was. Being a mother is wonderful. I will carry on sensibly losing the weight, but haven't had any of the bulimic urges I've had in the past. You just need to understand that you will gain weight during pregnancy, but you will be able to lose it again, its fine. Don't hold back for that reason.

I agree there's never a 'right time', especially financially! Are you still under medical care for your ongoing (but pleased to hear improving!) problems? If you are, this is a conversation to have with them. You need to know if the fluctuations in diet may have affected your fertility and to ensure when you do get pregnant that there's a support network there for you if you struggle.
Fwiw, I have a history of anxiety and depression and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant. My midwife is lovely and said if I need, I can see her every week for support. As it turns out, aside from stressing more than most about MCs and potential baby health problems, being pregnant has actually helped me! I know it's not just about me and my issues, I have to take care of myself for the sake of the baby. It's totally changed my perspective. :)

HI! You sound like you have had a bit of a bad time with one thig and another!! I also have experienced depression and anxiety and it is hard to overcome, you are very brave! I would say I don't believe there is ever a right time, there is always something to worry about! My advice would be do what feels right for you, talk to your doctor and your partner, it can be a very anxious time so don't be alone and make sure you let people know how you are feeling. I hope this helps, I wish you all the luck in the world! Take care and enjoy trying!! xxx

Hi there,

I am very pleased to say that since my original post my husband and I have spoken with our GP and have decided to start ttc in a very relaxed and laid back way.

No charts, just waiting to see what will happen

xx