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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Trying for my first: husband on fertility treatment

10 replies

Hopecat · 29/03/2006 17:02

My husband has been having specialised fertility treatment for a rare genetic condition for nearly a year and a half, and it worked!

My period's due in 7 days and I can't stop thinking about it. I've got sore boobs, fatigue and am urinating alot, but I've had symptoms before that came to nothing. I think I want it so much I get them psychosomatically.

I came online initially to find out why I can't take the HPT before my due date. I know now, but I'm horrified by some of the stories I've read online. It all looks so straightforward on the packet!

It's nice to find a site where I can talk to people. My husband is ashamed of his infertility, so I can't really talk to our friends about it. Wish me luck!

OP posts:

bl0ndie · 29/03/2006 17:58

Lots and lots of luck hopecat. Am keeping my fingers crossed for you, it all sounds v. promising.

moondog · 29/03/2006 18:01

Oh gosh Hopecat!
Really hope that this is it!
Keep us posted.
XXX

Debbsy · 29/03/2006 18:14

Best of luck Hopekat really hope this is it for you both :)

Lilysec · 29/03/2006 21:37

good luck, everything is crossed.

Original poster

Hopecat · 30/03/2006 10:51

Thanks everyone! One of my best friends is preg with her 2nd (after a nice relaxed 3 months trying), and the other has PCOS, and gets upset when we talk about it.

When you're a teen, you end up thinking that even letting a boy anywhere near your bits is bound to result in pregancy, then you start trying and it all seems incredibly complicated.

It'll be worth it if it works, though.

Anyone else got a man who's going through fertility treatment?

OP posts:

bl0ndie · 30/03/2006 11:03

My husband has a low sperm count and had to have treatment to conceive our dd. We tried for ages and all the doctors etc thought it was me with the problem, funny how everyone just assumes it's the woman. So I can totally sympathise with you and your dh. Hardly anyone knows about this, so its weird talkking about it, cos my dh is also ashamed about it.

Original poster

Hopecat · 30/03/2006 11:58

It does feel weird, doesn't it? I'm so used to it being our huge secret. It's like they think it means they're not a proper man. I actually feel that I'd rather people think it's my problem, as it makes him so upset even thinking anyone might suspect.

If a woman has PCOS or endemetriosis she tells her friends and gets support. I don't blame my husband for not wanting people to know - after all it's his secret not mine - but it does leave me with very few support options, as people can't possibly understand what you're going through unless they know your circumstances.

OP posts:

wannaBe1974 · 30/03/2006 13:02

hc best of luck :).

I do think that men find it hard to admit that they have a problem, and I think a lot even refuse to be tested because they can't face the possibility that they can't father a child, I think they see it as a dent to their male pride almost.

Try and relax into the whole TTC experience, and have lots of fun, and one thing I would say is to try and not pay any attention to simptoms until your AF is late. I know that's easier said than done, but the reality is that sore boobs, tiredness, lower abdominal pains etc are all as much simptoms of AF as of pg, but I think that often we just don't notice them when we're not ttc because we're not looking out for them, but as soon as we start ttc then every twinge is a simptom. I've lost count of the number of people on here, myself included, who have had sore boobs days before AF is due, and who have convinced ourselves we are pregnant, and the disappointment is that much greater when AF arrives.

good luck xxx

Original poster

Hopecat · 30/03/2006 13:09

You’re absolutely right wannabe. I keep telling myself not to count my chickens as I’ve had these ‘symptoms’ before. You can’t help just a little bit of hope creeping in there though, can you?

The thing is though, even if we’re not pg this time we now know that HB’s count is fine, so we feel ‘normal’. That’s made us both feel great.

OP posts:

wannaBe1974 · 30/03/2006 15:12

I think it's almost impossible not to be hopeful, even when you've told yourself that you're not going to think about it. I think that TTC can be all-consuming and can literally take over your life if you let it, and the key is not to let it. After 10 months of ttc for my second baby, we've reached the point where we're now not actively ttc any more, not using contraception, but not paying attention to ovulation etc, if it happens it happens and will be wonderful, but for me it's actually easier to accept that I'm not going to have another child than to get my hopes up every month as my cycles become longer and longer, only to see that bfn or for AF to arrive with avengence.

Have fun ttc, and your baby will come when he/she is ready to be made :)

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