Are any of my old beanie friends around??

[Debbsy]

Ifeel quite desperate to speak to you,as today has been a bad bad bad day and im sitting here crying and this timre cant stop.2 girls at work brought in there scan pics another one talking about her scan on mon,then one of my friends has just told me she is 19 weeks pg been trying for 2 mths as dp as v slow motility.Whats wrong with us??? being tested both of us hospital said we are fine,im just waiting for af to come sore boobs etc i know i wont be pg though as i never am and i really feel like im falling apart today..sorry :(

i have neverfelt more alone in my life,and feel like i cant talk to anyone even dh as they have heard it all before.

Debs (((hugs))) I know we've never spoken but I know where you're at because I've been there too. Although I haven't had m/c's like you it took me 13 months to conceive my DS who is now 3, and I'm now ttc for baby number 2 and have been so for 10 months with no result. This month I went through the crying and feeling that |I was totally worthless and we sat down and decided that we're just going to make love and not think too much about ttc. I too have come to the conclusion that I'm never going to get pregnant again, but there is one thing which I do try and keep in sight and which I have previously shared on here ..

When I was ttc for my DS, I became very upset every month when I failed to get pregnant. But when I eventually got lucky and fell pregnant, the day I gave birth to my DS, I realized that the reason why it had taken me so long to conceive was because that was the baby I was meant to have. If I'd fallen straight away, then it wouldn't have been that DS of mine that I would have had, and my life would have been totally different.

The baby you are meant to have is in there, it's just not ready to be made yet, and when you get lucky and fall pg, when you feel that first kick, when you give birth and hold that baby for the first time, you'll know that the baby you are holding is the baby you are meant to have.

Hope this makes some sense, if you need to chat feel free to email me any time [email protected].

good luck xxx

Debbsy

(((((HUGS)))))

I am in tears reading your post as I know only too well what you are going through. I have been there so many times and like your DH sometimes mine just doesn't say or do the right thing. Like you I have discussed our situation so many times with DH that he knows the each line I am going to say off by heart. There are times when I can see him switching off when I start to talk about the IVF etc

It is so easy to say your time will come, you are young yet etc., but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with the awful feelings that totally engulf us at times.

In my more sane moments I can believe that one day we will have the baby we long for but then something happens and I really convince myself that that day will never happen for us.

My SIL is pg at the moment and I am having a really tough time dealing with all the baby talk from MIL. She really doesn't know how upsetting it is for me. Sometimes I think I will tell her but then I feel that maybe I am just acting out of jealousy and I would hate myself for that.

Please keep talking about what you are going through. The worst thing you can possibly do is bottle all those feelings up. I don't know how you would feel about this but have you tried going for counselling? I know that it is not for everyone and form my own point of view I would prefer not to talk about my problems face to face with someone, but do find it easier to write everything down on MN and talk to people who I don't really know but who I feel understand a little of what I am going through.

If you want to talk to me about this anymore I will post my e-mail address as I truly know how you are feeling.

Also never give up hope every month. When I fell pg with Adam I had no idea what so ever that I was pg as I was waiting on my af to start our first IVF. I often think about how different life would have been now if we had been luck enough to have Adam with us today, but I have to keep looking to the future and pray that one day we will be blessed with the baby of our dreams.

((((((((HUGS)))))))) again and take care

Wendy
xx

Hi Wendy thank goodness your there and i know you have had so much more a difficult time thsn me,we will be there for each other i just feel very low today and cant stop crying but i am here for you too i really am ((((hugs))))
Wannabe that was a lovely post thank you, truly lovely. I will email you thanks and you too Wendy.

i'm about hon but not much leave me a message/email me, will come back as soon as I can

x

hi Munzy great to hear from you congrats on Joey hes gorgeous i did check on you all the time xx

Debbsy tentatively whispers that period hasnt started yet,due yesterday cd26 boobs throbbing but no other symptoms except had very severe constipation for the past week
Not Not not getting my hopes up though as it never happens for me,and will probably see af today.

BFP BFP BFP BFP BFP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooh honney i'm so chuffed for u!!!! big congrats hon, fingers crossed for u.

Brill, brill news Debs.

((xx))