Curious question/moral dilemma here would love to hear thoughts. A very good friend of mine, in relationship for ages, but who for various reasons (usual avoidant OH etc) started TTC near 40 and has now been through hell trying, failed IVF etc has said to me that she just hadn't understood how weakened the chances of successful pregnancy were by leaving it late, and had she known would have found a way to try earlier.
I now feel very sad about not spelling it out to her because I DID very clearly know the risks (was scared of them myself), she's a dear friend and I knew she wanted children. But I assumed she knew and was making her choices and I didn't want to overstep the mark. I now really regret my reticence.
I have another good male friend, wants children, wife in late 30s, but who is putting it really low on practical priority list. And because of my first friend, I HAVE said something to him, but I get the impression that he just thinks things have to be done at a nice gentle pace over the next few years, and I felt I was overstepping the mark saying anything...
Do you think it is actually possible not to get the risk of difficulties you will face by leaving it till late 30s/40s? (it seems to me like general medical knowledge but maybe it isn't) Did you know? And do you think it is the right thing to say something to a good friend who is in a good position to try but leaving it? Or is it just arrogance and meddling?
I personally had my first DC in my mid 30s because of meeting OH late, but due to me being really nervous of risks, we got on with it really quickly. But maybe that was also where we were 'at' in our lives as a couple.