I'm officially giving up

[uselfullife]

4 years of trying
2 miscarriages
every single month peeing on 20 sticks to check ovulation, then peeing on 10 sticks to check for pg.
the 2 ww, watching for every single symptom
just finished the last pre-natal vitamins

that's it
I'm so sad
I'm very angry

Didn't want to read and run.. It must be so so hard. Have investigated ivf or similar? Or had fertility checks for you and your partner? Hope I'm. It speaking out of turn..

i'm just too old
we went for the ivf tests, still ovulating
but marriage has fallen apart too
so really no hope left

I think I just need a good cry, and then get on with the rest of my life

I do have one beautiful DS who is nearly 5

But he asks all the time for a brother or sister
it's so hard

PLease, please don't give up. Please. I've been TTCing for 2.5 years so not quite been through what you have, but please don't.

It might be good for your mental health to ditch the ovulation tests and so on - but don't 'give up' in the sense of using contraception or stopping sex.

Look, I met a woman a few months ago of about 41 and really grumpily took against her. She seemed to have the perfect life - a huge country home, a thriving business, a gorgeous husband, a bonny lad of about 18 months, and she was massively pregnant (I mean, due that week!).

She picked up on something in my face, I think, and we had a chat about baby stuff. It took her TEN YEARS to get pregnant. Ten years! She had wanted to adopt but her husband was ded set against, so as she reached 40 she concluded that she would never be a Mum.

Anyway - she got pregnant with her son, and given that she was 40 and it had taken 10 years, they didn't bother using contraception again - and BAM, pregnant a few months later, and they'll have 2 children under 2.

Never give up. Honestly. GOOD LUCK.

Oh, didn't realise you already had a child!

Well - I still think don't give up. But maybe focus your energies towards him, perhaps, and see what happens? Sometimes I think it helps to dwell on positive stuff. er, I realise that is all a bit woo. But I claim long-term TTCer priviliges to say woo stuff

Hard isn't it. I'm having a week like that too. Have had 3 friends give birth to beautiful baby boys in the last few weeks and am feeling quite green about it. Especially as these are their second children in the space of time that dh and I have been trying.
5 years and 4 mc here. I'm utterly fed up and tired of it all.

I've given up too - DS is now 7. He took 6 years of waiting for - including illness - and 2 mc since - its just too much to do again.

The good thing is that he now has a tendency to say 'but if I did have a brother or sister I would have to share you and that wouldn't be so good' so there are upsides.

So hard, but I guess all you can do is ditch the tests but keep trying. Maybe take the pressure off. I haven't ever been in the situation and have been so lucky with pg but I can certainly try to empathise, it's the one thing you really really want, but have no control over.

I just wanted to wish you all the best for the future x

So sorry to hear all that. Nothing I can add - but heart goes out to you. Is your marriage salvageable? :(

Useful,

SO sorry to hear your story.

We were trying 7 years before we had our DTs.
4 mcs and an ectopic. Fertility probes on both sides.

A really useful book was 'Sweet grapes'. It helped me see that life could go on without DCs (or another DC).

All the very best.

thanks for the kind words
i will check out that book thanks Bombastic

I'm sorry for all your losses too.
Nature is just so unfair sometimes.

Every day from ovulation it feels like something is happening, just being reminded all the time

Not sure I want the marriage to continue Jenn.
If it was ok, we would be doing IVF now. Didn't continue with it, because it was all going pearshaped

Oh that is so bladdy unfair! I hope you can find contentment and peace with however your life turns out.

Really sorry to hear you are having a rough ride. :(

I hear where you're at, so sorry.

FWIW I had DS at 40 and started TTC#2 at 41. 3MMCs and 2 early MCs later I was about to give up, but got a BFP in Jan and am now 32 weeks. I was 44 in Feb.

BUT I get the strain on the relationship, it is horribly hard.

Give your DS a big squeeze x

I wish I just had a few more years

Sorry to hear of your sad times OP. I'm feeling quite down, approaching 1 year TTC my first and just sort of in shock that it's not all happening the way it was supposed to.

It does put massive pressure on relationships, maybe if the TTCing is put on the back burner, you can focus on yourself, your son and your marriage, maybe things could improve for you. I hope so.

Good luck.

Tuesday - I'm in the same boat as you :( So sad about it all.