need my spirits lifting (again) - kind words of inspiration and hope please.....

[beanery]

I have occasionally posted in the last year and always find it useful to hear from others in the same boat. I could really do with some positive stories.

I have been ttc dc2 for just over 2.5 years.

Had a MMC about 19 months ago and nothing has happened since. I was already (foolishily) stressing out by about 6 months of trying before the MMC because my DS was conceived straight away. However, a few months later I did get PG (took about 12 months but probably really more like 7/8 months actual TTC because of circumstances and DH illness, etc.)

After the MMC, I thought that I would just get pg again and that would be that. Unfortunately, no such luck.

I am finding this whole experience incrediably stressful (on top of a lot of family stress and personal circumstances.) I have had tests, etc over the last year, which caused me no end of anxiety.

According, to my Doc all is ok or 'reasonable' as he put it and I have a 'normal chance of conception'. discovered that I was born with just one ovary, so my AMH is on the lowish side, (in the low range) as have less eggs than people with 2 ovaries but actually it's not too bad given that and my age. (36) DH SA is fine.

I suppose what I am asking for is for people to share with me some positive stories. I can't believe it will ever happen again for me, although deep down I think surely it has too. Just need a bit of hope! Especially after yet another pregnancy announcement (some of my antenatal friends are on to their 3rd children now)

I am incrediably grateful for my DS, who is 4.5 but would like him to have a sibling very much and for us to be like everyone else.

Sorry if this sounds whingey or moany but I am sure there are ladies out there who can relate? Pls share your experience with me.

I don't have a positive story as I'm too still waiting for my happy ending. But I wanted you to know what your feeling is so normal and sometimes it's nice to have someone to moan to! I'm also feeling fed up at the mo, AF due tommorow-did a test yesterday bfn so looks like I'm back to trying again next month too. Im sure it will happen for you again, it's the not knowing when that's difficult!

I do have a friend that was ttc for 5 years and now has an 18 month and a three week old-this makes me smile because it assures me that my time will come!!
Is there nothing else the doctors can do for you? Keep your chin up and I have my fingers crossed x

Oh dear, I sympathise. I had a mmc before my DD, then two more mmcs when TTC DC2. In total it took 18 months, but I'm now 17 weeks with no. 2 and all looks good (touch wood).

The TTC process was very hard this time round as it seemed to take so long (I appreciate some people take much longer and my heart goes out to them) and I got very fed up with having the mcs and worrying that I would never have a healthy pregnancy again. Each time I miscarried, I was desperate to become pregnant again. It's so hard to take a relaxed approach, especially after a mc.

I hope you get your happy ending soon. Remember each month brings you a month closer to getting your baby. You will get there in the end.

thanks for the replys. I appreciate it.

I have not had a relaxed approach to ttc for quite some time and I sometimes wonder if it is simply a case of too much anxiety about it that is stopping it all from happening?

I did take have 3 cycles of Clomid, but that really didn't suit me. I was offered 3 more cycles but have declined, as I found it really heightened my anxieties (i am quite an anxious person by nature!) It messed up my cycles for quite a few months after as well. So just feel back on track now cyclewise.

I guess I need to keep trying to sort my head out about it - that might be the key. I just find I cope really badly with knowing that other people are getting pregnant around me and wondering why it is never me!

Good luck with it all HappilyMarried - hope it works out for you too.

GenericDietCola, enjoy your pregnancy - how long did it take you to conceive between MCs?

I doubt whether anxiety is stopping things from happening, but it won't be helping your general health and well being. Relaxing and not trying too hard are very easy to say and difficult to do though! I focussed more and more on having a healthy diet and taking supplements. I gave up caffeine and alcohol and ate loads of fruit and veg. Supplement-wise, I took: omega 3, co-Q10, vit B6, vit D, royal jelly and normal ante natal vitamins. I don't know whether they did any good, but anything I read that said X is associated with mc or Y is associated with improved fertility I assessed whether that sounded sensible and if so, I did it! It just made me feel more in control.

Re conceiving after the miscarriages, I think it took 5-6 cycles each time, which doesn't sound too bad, but felt like a long time. After the middle mc, I didn't have a period for 8 wk or so, then had some problems with lots of bleeding and abnormalities on scans, so that took about 6 weeks or so to sort out before I could try again, so I am only counting actual cycles, not months.

I hope you will get your baby very soon.