TTC - Partner on antidepressants - can't ejaculate

[smiales01]

Think the title says it all, my partner has been on AD's for 3 months, he has come a couple of times but generally he really struggles to. Obviously this doesn't help with TTC, we've been off contraception for 18 months now but nothing is happening, prob as we haven't had enough sex although we have had a fair few goes around ovulation time in that time. He's on them to help him which has worked great except now he's more up for sex as he's happier and he can't finish. I'm so frustrated, feel like someone is trying to tell us something.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Are there any alternative medication that has worked for you. He has used citalopram and fluoxetine so far.

Oh god we had that! It was awful.

I am trying to remember if it got better on its own or not. My DH kept fairly sane by doing lots of sports and the AD's interfered with our DTD but also with his ability to get out and train.

I think he actually took them for about 4 months and then slowly weaned himself off - taking one every second day, then every third day.

The other option is actually to chat to your doctor about it and see if they can change the meds? It's not easy to be depressed AND have a sexual dysfunction. I know my DH battled to accept it and chose to get off the meds ASAP

Thank goodness it's not just us going through this, no one really talks about it - or it's really rare of course!

So your OH came off his meds, my bloke has been on them for 3 months and although lots better I'd be nervous of him coming off yet. He's going to the gym a few times a week which is great and is more in the mood now but we can't get the 'end result' if you know what I mean.

You know, ask him how he feels and really talk things through. I am not sure of the situation and why he went on AD's in the first place, but our doctor always described it as "your coping mechanism just stops coping"

I also did some research on it and contrary to a lot of belief, that mechanism can start working after 3 months. My DH did feel better and it helped immensely for those first 3 months and then he started to take one every second day and did that for a couple weeks. Then one every third day for a couple weeks. Then a half every second day. Essentially weaning himself off them but also not completely stopping them.

I think that helped with the ability to orgasm as well and then obviously slowly coming out of that depth of despair helped.

The four or five months he was on them definitely kick-started his coping mechanism again. That was over a year ago now and he hasn't needed anything else again.

I would honestly suggest your DH be completely honest with himself (and you!) and if he feels he needs to stay on them, then he must obviously do that. But if he is feeling better in the face of that stress, he can lessen the amount slowly.

Chat to the doctor as well and see what they say. And remember that exercise produces its own happy antidepressants so if he carries on with that, it will also help.

I am not giving medical advice - just literally saying what helped my DH and I. And we were both quite active sports wise so he really battled not having "good" rumpy pumpy AND not being able to get out and train anymore.

My side is also that I've been on AD's twice - once for 4 months and was on anti-anxieties for about 5 months. On both occasions, I got to a fairly suicidal point (the first time was diagnosed was after a suicide attempt and some fairly feminine bouts of tears for WEEKS).

But that mechanism kicked back in very quickly and allowed me to carry on without the pills.

I am a firm believer in getting that help. But also in not believing one needs to take them indefinitely.

Unless the coping mechanism is completely broken :)

Thanks for that, he wouldn't be ready to come off them yet but maybe in another month we can consider him reducing the dose and see how he gets on.

Ive read that timing when you take them can be useful, straight after sex being a good time as they will be wearing off just before you take them - how true this is I'm not sure as I would have thought that if they are in your system that's the problem.

Just going to take time I think, I can't push him as it took me ages to get him to do something about his depression so getting them off them cant be rushed!