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Conception

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Original poster

IVF/ICSI/FET - any more for any more... MORE!

252 replies

jumpingjackhash · 23/07/2012 17:16

A thread for anyone going through fertility treatment, about to start or with a success story to share. Welcome one and all!

So our last IVF/ICSI/FET support, wallow, celebratory and whatever else thread got full, so let's pick up where we left off!

Carebear, great news on your EC on Sat!

I've got over my strop now Blush and have re-rearranged my work schedule so all set once they confirm the date tomorrow!

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KnackeredCow · 22/08/2012 19:48

Really relieved! Grin

Jumping apparently the blood tests results do come back quickly so if there's a problem the midwife will call within a few days or so.

KnackeredCow · 23/08/2012 09:08

Good luck for today Zeebee! x

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 23/08/2012 09:45

Good luck Zeebee!

Knackered, well I hope you get good news! Your DH is right about the Aveeno - it's magic cream! The itching has virtually disappeared and after just a couple of days the awful rash has just about gone too. I'll definitely be using it again!

I'm still frantically symptom spotting, but feeling slightly reassured that I've gone off the thought of eating chocolate completely (not like me at all! A bit of choccy is my best friend), infact I don't really fancy eating much even when I'm hungry (keep getting indigestion from the most basic foods!). The nausea is also hanging around - good sign I'm hoping!

Otherwise DH and I are just playing the waiting game... he keeps asking 'are you still pg?' Hmm which REALLY isn't helping!

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zeebee1 · 23/08/2012 18:53

Hi jumping and knackered... oh i so wish I could post some happy news, but sadly I can't.... today I am 7+3 and our embryo with the heartbeat has not increased in size and is still measuring 6+1... the outlook is a bit bleak for us - the other embryo still has no heartbeat, so the nurse said that will probably just disappear in time.

Apparently at this time the embryo should be increasing in size everyday and if it's not then that is not good... we have another scan next Friday - but we've been told not to get our hopes up and at that scan there will also be a doctor present. I must say the scan equipment she used today was terrible in comparison to the Harley St one on Monday and she could barely make anything out for ages - we were a bit Angry about this... just frustrating when someone is trying to tell you bad news but can't be sure of the measurements she's taking as the screen is so fuzzy.... grrr..

So DH and I came home and spent the rest of the afternoon feeling blue and telling various well wishing people that things aren;t looking so rosy anymore... jsut been to Sains and bought some nice dinner for tonight and stopped at an AMAZING cake shop on the way home and bough a GIGANTIC slice of coffee cake that I was craving... YUM.

Anyway might explain my loss of PG symptoms a bit - altho apparently they do come and go... anyway hope you are both doing OK and things are fine... will updaate you next Friday whatever the outcome, then will leave mumsnet for a bit I think..... thanks for your lovely support both of you Smile hugely appreciated by DH & Me Wink
x

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 23/08/2012 20:27

Aw Zeebee, see how you get on with the next scan, you never know what might happen. What did they say about the size at Harley St? Thinking of you and rooting for Zeeblet to have a spurt x

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zeebee1 · 23/08/2012 20:39

Thanks jumping.... They were concerned at H St too but DH and I just so overjoyed to see a heartbeat we didn't really pay attention to the sonographer's concerns!

KnackeredCow · 24/08/2012 07:51

Oh Zeebee I am so sorry things aren't looking so promising. Let's cross our fingers that our LO hangs in there.

The difference in ultrasound equipment is remarkable. I had a similar thing at my ACU. At my 8+5 scan one of mine measured 7+6 but they told me not to worry. Ultrasound is accurate only to within a week either side and like with you it was all quite fuzzy at ACU. There was a massive difference at 12 week scan. The equipment in antenatal clinic next door was new and images crystal clear. DH mentioned it to sonographer who said as technology moves so fast antenatal clinic update theirs every 2-3 years. And then I assume the ones they no longer need are reallocated to other hospital departments.

Zeebee I'm crossing everything that your LO has a growth spurt and all is fine on Friday. x

KnackeredCow · 01/09/2012 12:54

Jumping hope things are good with you. Just wanted to wish you the very best for your scan - it's Tuesday isn't it, iirc?

zeebee1 · 02/09/2012 21:22

Hi all
Just a farewell message from me sadly..
We lost both fetus' - devastating. I'm now waiting for a date for the inevitable d&c op. might be on my 40th birthday (4th sept) - oh how depressing!
They seem to have got smaller and smaller as the weeks went on, and guys hospital say it was most probably a missed miscarriage. Fairly common. Doesn't make it ANY easier to deal with.
We don't know which way to turn now.. We were forced to cancel our holiday to NYC for my birthday as too dangerous to be abroad with the possibility of starting to bleed... So all in all a crappy few days.
Knackered and jumping I wish you both so much good luck in your journeys. Right now I'm leaving MN and giving myself a break from all this IvF stuff .
Keep well and happy and jumping - good luck with the scan on the 4th
Zb x

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 04/09/2012 06:20

Oh Zeebee, just saw your update. So sorry this happened, don't blame you from taking a break from MN. Hope the procedure goes as well as can be expected, maybe re-book the birthday trip for later as a distraction? Take care of yourself xxx

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zeebee1 · 04/09/2012 13:35

Thanks jumping - pls let me know how your scan goes today. Fingers crossed for some great news for you Smile

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 04/09/2012 13:38

Thanks Zeebee - hope you're being looked after on your birthday! x

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Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 04/09/2012 16:17

No heartbeat, just a black blob on the scan. Feel empty (oh the irony) and betrayed by my body for letting me have all these symptoms while it's not 'working'.

Feel like shit. I think. Not really sure, to be honest. Just know all of the happiness I felt 24hours ago has gone.

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ScarlettInSpace · 04/09/2012 16:47

Oh jumping sorry to dive into the thread unannounced but I was looking out for your update after you kindly posted on my ivf thread, so so sorry to hear that, look after yourself xx

ScarlettInSpace · 04/09/2012 16:51

PS/ is there a chance that it could be a late developer wrt hb? Or have they said its not developing at all? Just hoping there is some hope if you know what i mean, as its too easy to see the worst sometimes x

KnackeredCow · 04/09/2012 16:53

Oh Jumping and Zeebee, I am so very, very sorry to hear that it's been such awful news for both of you. I don't know what to say - I can't think of anything useful.

Take all the time you need to get over this. I had to take time off work after my second failed round. If it's any consolation all I can say is that failure this time doesn't mean it will never work. Assisted conception is a really tough journey to make.

Thinking of you both. x

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 04/09/2012 16:54

Thanks Scarlett, sadly no, we asked if there was a chance it was hiding or just too soon, but we could see a black sac with nothing. So stopping the progesterone pessaries now, and we just wait for it all to come out. Sad

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Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 04/09/2012 17:01

Thanks Knackered, I don't know how many more times we can do it. I know it's too soon to have this kind of conversation, but I think if we go for it with our 2 frosties, that might be our last attempt.

The clinic keep saying 'it will happen, it just takes time' but I'm not sure they really and truly understand what it takes to go through it physically and emotionally, let alone the financial burden (the reality is we can't afford to do this a million times!). I guess they see it so much but when it's you it's 'real' and the most important thing in your world at the time. I appreciate I'm being unreasonable here with my assumption of their understanding, but hearing 'you just keep going, it will happen' sounds hollow, patronising and unrealistic at the moment!

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KnackeredCow · 04/09/2012 17:10

Jumping, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Being told it will happen is patronising, I agree. The reality is that although it does happen for most women over four rounds it doesn't for all. It's soul destroying when it fails and is horrifically expensive and emotionally and physically draining. A crystal ball is the only thing that would probably be useful for you right now, unfortunately x

bugsylugs · 04/09/2012 20:08

zeebee, and jumping I am so sorry for your heartbreaking news. This journey can be so so cruel. Time out, hugs and care with your other halves. No words of wisdom as really I do not think there are any but it is rubbish. We are still plucking up the courage to go again.

Thinking of you both and wishing you some peace

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 04/09/2012 20:32

Thanks Bugsy. I don't know how I'd get through this whole thing without mn. Do you think you'll go again?

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zeebee1 · 05/09/2012 16:56

Jumping - absolutely DEVASTATED to hear your sad news - oh how SH*T.
You must be feeling so upset and numb with shock... it certainly takes a while to feel normal emotions again - i can understand how sad and angry you and your DH must be feeling... Did Guys treat you gently after you had your scan? we found them to be very nice and they consoled us and also suggested i pass the empty sac naturally rather than have the D&C... (this was after our first IVF fresh round didn't work) I was all for waiting for it to pass, but it seemed to take AGES and after about 10 days still nothing - no blood, nothing. Then I had some sever crampy type pains at about 2 weeks after but still nothing passed - so i booked for a D&C... it sort of felt better to then know the sac was out completely and I wouldnt be still waiting around at home for it to pass (or not!) anyway I jsut wanted to tell you my experience of "waiting for it to pass naturally"
I have a D&C booked for tomorrow, so at least I know what i'm in for this time - the worst part I think is having the injection in your wrist then you are out for the count and that's it... well - that's almost it Wink I think I bleed for about a week after the last D&C in november....
I was also called up by thomas' to go in for a TABLET trial - where they test your level of thyroid as apparently they are thinking that this could be something linked to miscarriages.... you would have to take some medication if the thyroid level is not right - so im not too sure how I would feel about this as I would be taking so many drugs with IVF anyway next round...
Yes, next round - can't believe we are already plotting thiss - infact we think we will give the FET another go as soon as we can this year. read in the paper today that FET embryos are much stronger than fresh IVF embryos (?!) hey ho.. onwards... anyway sending you lots of postive thoughts JUMPING - so difficult to think ahead at this time isn't it - it will get better - the pain.

zeebee1 · 05/09/2012 16:58

ps - Bugsy so nice to hear from you - how are you doing? THnak you for your kind kind words
knackered you too - your words mean so much - I hope you are doing well - you are such an inspiration on this thread...

zeebee1 · 05/09/2012 17:01

pps - I can HIGHLY recommend a night at Babbington House in Somerset to get your mind of IVF/Conception/loss etc... DH took me there for my birthday last night and we had a wonderful time - spa, outdoor heated pool, lovely grounds, delicious food and we even did a bike ride this morning! Smile Maybe turnign 40 hasn't been ALL bad!

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 05/09/2012 17:45

Glad you had a nice birthday treat Zeebee, your DH is a gem!

I'm worried that my DH feels he has to get through this on his own, I've tried talking to him and suggested he posts in Dadsnet if he wants some anonymous support. Guys were lovely indeed, suggested counselling, which sounds like a good idea and has now been booked (5 Oct first avail appointment, that seems so far away!).

I'm going to wait for it to all leave me naturally (like last time, although it took me by surprise then and was the first we knew of the loss). They've said if it doesn't happen in the next 2 weeks then to call them for another scan and to discuss options. I hope it happens soon, can't bear this being stretched out for weeks! I stopped the pessaries last night, have had a little very mild cramping today and pretty constant nausea, it still doesn't quite feel real yet.

Have spent the day lolling around with DH, went for a lovely walk on the common and had lunch in a cute 'country' pub, so feeling slightly more balanced! We managed to have a bit of a 'what next?' chat, we want tests to rule out any major mc causes (thyroid as you said, any other blood or gene issues etc), then will go for fet, probably as soon as we reasonably can. More icsi is something we really need to think about, at the moment it's not something I'm keen on, but it's far too early to be thinking that far ahead I guess.

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