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Original poster

Is a 6 year age gap a silly idea?

33 replies

Creamtea1 · 13/07/2012 11:39

Hi all,
Will start ttc in Oct and if im lucky enough to succeed (I am officially old, 35) the age gap at a new baby would be 6 yrs to dc1 and 8 yrs to dc2. Is that a silly idea? Am I going to be insane taking 2 to secondary school and one just starting at primary a few yrs down the line? Will the older two resent the new one?
Any experience/advice much appreciated

OP posts:
ValiumQueen · 13/07/2012 11:46

Every familyis different, and 6 year age gap is nothing really. Much more sensible than 2 years IMO (pregnant and shattered chasing a 2yo)

You are young btw. I had my first at 37, and am now 43 pg with DC3.

Do you want a baby? Will you regret not having another?

Original poster
Creamtea1 · 13/07/2012 11:55

Hi VQ - yes absolutely want a third, would be a real regret if I didn't try. A lot of me thinks the gap makes things a bit easier, older ones at school etc - did you fall pregnant easily with yours?

OP posts:
ValiumQueen · 13/07/2012 12:31

2nd cycle for DD1 and DD2. Tried for 6 months for DC3, gave up, then pg 3 months later. We had decided to just leave it up to God, and thankfully he said yes. Do not let a think like an age gap put you off. I wish both of mine were at school! Good luck with ttc.

My DH has a 10 year age gap, and they survived.

PandaWatch · 13/07/2012 12:31

There's 7, 10 and 11 years between my siblings and me. My mum was 38 when she had me (I was a "lovey surprise" apparently! Grin ). My parents said they found it easier with me as a baby as the others were at school during the day and old enough to know how to play well with me. We are all really close as well despite the age gaps. Go for it!

Pancakeflipper · 13/07/2012 12:37

Don't let the age gap put you off. You will meet people with 10yrs + difference. As much as people may try - you cannot ways plan a 'perfect' age gap and there no perfect age gap.

A friend of ours had her second child when her daughter was 6 nearly 7. It caused a lot of joy for her 6 yr old daughter who loved becoming a big sister and pushing the buggy etc. Now the baby is nearly 4 and there's a strong solid bond between them. Mum says it was lovely in some ways cos' she got to spend a lot of time with her second child whilst her older one was at school.

Original poster
Creamtea1 · 13/07/2012 21:49

Thanks all for replies - lovely to hear about closeness of siblings despite gaps. Infact am being quite thick in that there is less than 2 years between dc1 and 2 and they fight like cat and dog! So surely bigger gap = less fighting Smile

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 13/07/2012 22:03

5 years 10 months between my two boys and they adore each other. My youngest will start reception when my eldest starts year 6.

Moominsarescary · 13/07/2012 22:06

I have 8 years between each of my first 3. They are 17, 9 and 16 months. The eldest do fight quite s lot but the same could be said if they were a couple of years apart.

MamaMaiasaura · 13/07/2012 22:07

creamtea I've 3 dc, ds1 12y, ds2 4y and dd 8m eldest is fantastic with younger 2 siblings. Ds2 taken long time to accept dd but definitely getting there and I think they'll be close. Ds2 has HFA so it's taken him longer to adjust. I'm 37 very soon and would like another but prob won't

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 13/07/2012 22:09

Well i want a third and i am 37, dd1 is 9 and dd2 is 6.

I don't think six years is too big a gap, i am hoping dds will be great if they get a brother or sister.

Cheriefroufrou · 13/07/2012 22:10

there is no formula for age gap:closeness!
not at all! I know 2 different sets of siblings with over 10 yrs between them and they are amongst the closest siblings I know!
I know people with more commonly considered "ideal" gaps like 2 yrs who are not even slightly close

it depends on your family and individual personalities and all sorts

peeriebear · 13/07/2012 22:10

There's roughly the same age gap between my (soon to be) 3; DD1 was 5 when DD2 was born, and now DD2 will be nearly 6 when DC3 is born this year.

DizzyCow63 · 13/07/2012 22:13

We have a 13 year age gap between DSD and DS and she couldn't be a better big sister. Huge practical help too (she lives with us). Considering TTC again but took 4 years to fall pg with DS so could be looking at a 16year+ age gap if we have difficulties again.

TheOneWithTheHair · 13/07/2012 22:16

I have ds1 (16), dd (8) and ds2 (3). The only weird thing is having one who's finished school and starts collage in September and one who starts preschool nursery in September.

Oh and teenagers and threenagers in the house is hard if they throw a tantrum at the same time but it doesn't happen often. Grin

exoticfruits · 13/07/2012 22:20

My 8 yr gap two got on better than the 2 year gap.

BonnieBumble · 13/07/2012 22:22

I have a 5 year 8 month age gap between my two.

Pros

They adore each other.

Ds1 looks after ds2, he is surprisingly tender and is like a little parent.

It doesn't go by in the flash that a shorter age gap would.

Cons

You imagine that you will be able to give no2 undivided attention like you did with your firstborn. This doesn't happen you just don't have the time. You then feel guilty.

Attending school events and taxiing your first born to out of school activities is really hard with a toddler in tow.

You feel you are neglecting the older child because you don't give them much help with their homework and are torn between finding activities that suit both of them.

CamelKnees · 13/07/2012 22:24

I have 2 younger siblings. Age gap between me and them is 7 and 9 years. They were very close when they were little. Now we're adults we are all incredibly close. I wouldn't let a 'big' gap put you off.

Wolfiefan · 13/07/2012 22:30

My DS is 6 1/2 years older than DD. She idolises him! He has not been jealous but obviously they enjoy very different things. DS was very ill so that's why we have a big gap. It wasn't what I originally hoped for but I can't imagine coping with 2 or more under 5.
I have also felt much more relaxed this time round and have enjoyed every stage as I know she's the last one.

HappyJustToBe · 13/07/2012 22:40

My youngest sibling and I are 6 years apart and we are very close. My other siblings are 2 and 4 years apart and are nowhere near as close.

I think whatever the age gap there is the potential to love and loathe.

4boyzmum · 13/07/2012 22:41

I've 4 DS's. 32 weeks pregnant with DS5. Age gap between my eldest DS and youngest when he's born in Sept will be 13 years!! My 2 older boys have only 3 years between them and are totally fantastic with their 2 younger brothers as im certain they will be with new baby too. DS3 is 3yo and idolises his 2 older siblings....the eldest one in particular. Its lovely to watch them together. Dont get me wrong we're not the Waltons or anything, like any family with kids of any age we have our moments, but it's not a bad thing to have a big age difference by any means!!

MrsJamesMartin · 13/07/2012 22:45

I'm in a very similar position. I'm 35, DD is 10 and DS 6 we have just started ttc number 3.
Some days I'm unsure and wonder if its actually a really bad idea and other days I can't wait to see if it actually happens! We'll just have to see Grin

myheadsamarley · 13/07/2012 22:50

Hi OP... my dc's are 9, 5 and 1 and it workds great... although i can only comment on my own experiences, so much of their relationships seems to stem from family life in general and their lovely personalities... has really helped with cc costs too couldnt have afforded them otherwise am v v happy with my lot!!

neolara · 13/07/2012 22:52

That is exactly the age gaps for me and my brothers. It was lovely. My little brother and I get on brilliantly (he is 6 years younger than me) and when growing up he often referred to me as his second mum. It seemed to work very well for my family as I was growing up.

allagory · 13/07/2012 23:04

I have 2 boys aged 8 and 2. It's a bit noisy and the toddler has some bad habits. But they have a great time around, playing football, swimming, watching Fireman Sam (who knew you could be nostalgic at 8).The older one was a great help when he was a baby too.

pigletpower · 14/07/2012 00:25

I have DD aged 14, DS aged 7 and little DD aged 3. Funnily enough I only thought this week how mad it is that as our eldest begins her GCSE's our youngest is just beginning her education.

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