should I wait?

[notsoold]

Sorry if too long or tmi.
I am 41 with 2DC (13yo and 18yo)and had a mirena for 9 years ( 1st one for 5y.and then 2nd mirena for 4y.)
We decided to ttc as finally we can afford to have more children so mirrna removed and bfp after first cycle.
Really happy and then mc at 12 weeks with erpc.(missed mc at 10 weeks).
Doctors at hospital said that we could ttc after first cycle, but family ( we are really close knit) with doctors, nurses and sonographers as brothers and sisters say that I should wait 3 to 6 cycles before thinking of ttc. Reason being that the " body needs time after mirena".
Although my aunties had babies up to 47 or older, I don't want to wait too long....please can someone help me???

Anybody???
Please??

What does your instinct tell you? I think you want to try again, so I would say go for it.

Difficult but as your family are in the know and I don't think they would tell you information that would disadvantage you maybe you should consider what they've said if its more then one, after all it seems you catch early and itd be better to think a rest would make a difference if you went for it and unfortunatly the same thing happened again?! Maybe class when you went off Minerva as the beginning and now hasn't it allready been about 3, waiting one af after mc is advised so you could start there?

*mirena silly iPhone

hi. I'm 44 with ds 19,dd1 12 and dd2 8. I had an unplanned but not unwanted pregnancy earlier this yr and miscarried at 11 wks in March. The hospital also advised us we could ttc after first AF and I conceived straight away but miscarried again at 6 weeks in June. I don't think it was because it was too soon but I suppose as you get older it's a bit of a lottery each time as the eggs are older and may not be great quality. I still haven't been advised to leave a longer gap before ttc and I feel time is running out for me so we're not going to delay. I've read that your chances of conceiving are better in the 6 mths after a miscarriage. I wouldn't go against any advice you've received from your family, but I wish I'd tried when I was a few years younger than I am now so if I was you I personally wouldn't wait too long. Having said that I miscarried naturally, not sure if it makes a difference if you have an erpc?
I did have an AMH test after my first MC to check ovarian reserve, it gives you some idea of your fertility status, though of course even though it gives an idea as to how many eggs are left it doesn't give answers about their quality.

dolly not that I am trusting my instincts because of the raging hormones, but find myself quite obsessed in getting pg...
kitty and irish my thoughts swing between the points you two present.
The heartbreak following a mc is awful and I want to avoid it at all costs...hoever I am constantly thinking that I am 41 and it might take a long while from now on even if it was quick last time....
Seeing it written by you helps me to acknowledge the conundrum...
Does it seems crazy to say that we really want another dc??? We are not better than others is just that we dreamed (during period of hardship) of this and now it seems like it might not happen after all :(
Sorry really down today..

notso, I know what it's like, good days and bad days. Sometimes it feels like life will never be the same after miscarrying, there's a sadness never very far from the surface but hopefully as time goes on it will become easier to cope with it.
We too wondered if we would be able to cope with miscarriage again, I felt because I was at rock bottom I couldn't feel any worse and I would regret more not trying again and never knowing if we might have been able to have another baby. After my second MC it's hard to analyse my feelings, obviously heart broken but I was still grieving so much for the first I don't know if I actually felt sadder. Sorry that sounds very complicated. Having said that if I lost another I don't know if we could keep going.
I don't think you're crazy to want another dc,you're not replacing the little one you lost but it's what I've heard called "empty arm syndrome", you just yearn for a baby to hold and feel like there's a gap in your family. Even if you have other children it doesn't stop you missing the baby you lost.

You are so right irish !!!!
Immediately after mc I thought "sod it" to pg when we have healthy kids and the teen years with dd was awful and with all sort of problems ( from eating disorder to plain nastiness)...
But nothing was in the same scope or level of pain. Dh said that it was harder than losing his mum....
Empty arm is the way to describe us. My mother carries on( she is in her 70s) feeling incomplete because she couldn't have as many as she felt her heart was telling her to.
Incidentally she had a mc before conceiving me (my baby sister was 24 weeks old). I never felt as the replacement child. Always felt lucky to be alive and always very sure of my parents love. I was a naughty child and very trying...
Thank you for your very kind words, it seems that your burden is also great andstill your kindness is plain to read...